Snowcross. Chase had taken part in a snowcross race thanks to several friends who had participated in the X Games and invited him to their training site. Nichole grimaced. Chase rubbed the back of his neck and kept those particular details to himself.
“That’s when Mom told me boys would be boys.” Wesley looked at Chase through his eyelashes. More color shaded his face and highlighted his voice. “Then you know what, Chase? Mom told me that I wasn’t allowed to be that kind of boy. What kind of boy are you anyway?”
The completely wrong kind for Nichole. She deserved someone who put her first. Someone who avoided risks and embraced responsibilities. He shouldn’t be pleased Nichole followed him during the off-season too. If he was a better guy, he’d take the blame now and ruin the boy’s day. He clenched his teeth together instead.
Ben giggled. “My dad said he wanted to be one of those boys.”
Brooke spun around, slapped the faucet on in the sink and picked up the soap dispenser. Suddenly determined to clean her coffee mug in record-breaking time, she let the water wash away her laughter.
Nichole picked up a dish towel and twisted it around her hands. Chase concentrated on the boys, controlling his own laughter.
“So, you can still drive a snowmobile, can’t you?” Wesley pressed.
“Yes, I can.” Chase gained control of his grin. “But we need to get your mom’s permission to go riding on one.” There, he’d given her another out.
Wesley sighed and faced his mom again. “Mom, if we promise not to be those kinds of boys, can we please go on the snowmobiles? Please.” Hope extended his plea into one long drawn-out exhale.
Nichole opened her mouth, but the back door swung open and banged against the wall.
“We’ve got gas for the snowmobiles.” Dan stepped inside, shook the snow from his hair. His smile as contagious as the kids’. Every inch of his wide frame broadcast his inner child. “Now we can have an afternoon adventure.”
The boys cheered and leaned around Chase to high-five each other. Clearly, they’d deemed one parent’s approval more than enough.
Ben hugged his dad. “When are we leaving?”
Dan rubbed his hand in Ben’s hair. “Remember what I told you.”
“After we eat a good lunch and then after I check my numbers.” Ben peeked at his dad as if making sure no other conditions remained.
Chase watched the pair. A twinge twisted in his chest. His inner kid craved adventure, accepted every challenge, yet never quite accepted his dad’s abandonment. He still craved a bond like Dan and Ben shared. Chase stuffed his hands in his pockets and slammed the door on past hurts.
“Then we really get to go?” Wesley chewed on his bottom lip. His gaze skipped over the adults, unable or unwilling to settle.
“Why don’t you change out of your snow clothes and search the house for a trail map,” Dan suggested. “It’ll make lunch time arrive quicker.”
The boys scrambled out of the kitchen. Hats, gloves and jackets dropped like a bread crumb trail on the floor and up the stairs. Ideas about which direction to ride, what they would find in the mountains and what they could take home filled the rest of the space.
Dan grinned at Chase. “Suddenly I’m anxious for lunch to be over.”
Chase’s smile was barely there. Nichole hadn’t agreed. Wesley escaped, avoiding her verdict. But Chase remained and disliked seeing her upset. Disliked even more that he’d caused her unhappiness. Wariness lowered Chase’s enthusiasm into a simmer. He glanced at Dan. “Maybe we should get more gas before we head out.”
“That’s a really good idea.” Brooke dried her hands on Nichole’s towel and snatched her jacket from the kitchen chair. Her words tumbled out as swiftly as her sprint to the back door. “Dan and I can do that now. Right now, in fact.”
Brooke grabbed Dan’s hand, pulling him along with her to the back door in one fluid motion. Dan called out, “Text us if you need anything else—like a referee.” The door clicking shut cut off Brooke’s reprimand.
Nichole paced the kitchen, one arm crossed over her stomach, her other hand propped under her chin. Her fingers tapped a quick beat against her cheek. This was not his fault, yet guilt raced through him. Of course, he wanted to go. That was a given. Boys like him craved afternoons like this. The man in him—the one way too aware of Nichole—hesitated, wanting Nichole’s consent. Otherwise he feared he might not enjoy the afternoon. He narrowed his gaze on Nichole. What was it about her? “I won’t go.”
“Of course, you have to go.” Nichole paused, then refilled the coffeepot, as if she intended to restart the entire morning. “Did you see how excited Wesley was?”
Chase had seen. He’d experienced the same rush of excitement as the boys and even Dan. Except his joy dimmed as Nichole’s distress increased. “You could take him.”
“No. He wants you to go with him.” She rubbed her forehead, her voice bleak, her gaze sad. “I’ve already ruined too many other adventure-like moments over the years.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.” Chase walked to her. He wanted to hold her until her usual happiness returned. Hold her as if he could make her happy.
“I’m good at the dual parent thing. Really good.” Her gaze slipped away from him, sweeping her voice along with it. “But I’m not always enough. Or the right fit for some things.”
Chase ached. The catch in her voice caught in his chest and hooked deep. Chase took her hands, guided her closer and then fell back on all he knew: humor, light and easy. “Action adventures aren’t always much fun.”
“Tell that to Wesley.” Nichole laced her fingers around his and held on. The faintest of smiles drifted over her face. There and gone like the last spark of a sunset.
“We
