“Then I know exactly when you can find him.”
Chapter 23
Ariana left the room, vaguely stunned at everything. Uncle Kostya looked quite the same as he edged past her into the library. She tiptoed up to see if it was Maria or Owen or both in there and almost got bowled over by Uncle Kostya on his way out again.
“She won’t hear of staying. I think it would be more harmful to keep her here than put her in the carriage back to London. I can’t believe…” His shoulders sagged but he regrouped and gave her a forced smile. “I’ll send Mary or one of the others with her so you needn’t worry.”
Ariana nodded guiltily. He was already off toward the stables and Ariana took a deep breath. She’d almost worked up enough courage to go in when her mother came out of the breakfast room, speaking hurriedly with Aunt Serena.
“I’m certain I have a trunk full of gowns from back then,” Aunt Serena said. “You needn’t worry if you can’t find the specific one you’re thinking of.”
Her mother had a far off, dreamy expression on her face, underlined with worry. “No, I know exactly where it is. I’d never get rid of it.” She tugged on Ariana’s arm as they passed. “Come along. It’ll take at least an hour to get all the grime out of your hair.”
“Maria wants to go home. I’ll just say goodbye to her then meet you up there.”
She understood why she had to get cleaned up some, she was filthy and Lucy was no longer around to keep her shielded. What she didn’t understand was why her mother was so stuck on her wearing a particular dress. A dazed expression met her at the mention of wanting to speak with Maria. Her mother must have completely forgotten she was there. There was still so much to explain. With a slight frown, she and Aunt Serena headed upstairs to hunt for the special gown.
Ariana tried to find some of the ease she’d had when her mother first hugged her and everything seemed like it would be all right. Now everything was worse, if that was possible. She didn’t feel anywhere near the bravado she put forward. Her father was often grumpy, sometimes yelled a bit, but she couldn’t fathom him wanting to kill someone. They’d all seemed so seriously frightened he would do it, which frightened her. If she was too late, he would be a murderer, her mother would be heartbroken beyond repair, and it would all be her fault.
And now she had to try and make amends for being part of getting one of her best friends possessed by a ghost. With a deep breath, she entered the room as quietly as she could.
Owen sat forlornly facing Maria, who had pushed her chair as far as she could from his and pressed herself into the corner of it to boot. She kept her eyes on the wall, resolutely turned away from him.
Ariana cleared her throat, but Maria either didn’t hear her or was ignoring her as well. “I guess you’re leaving straight away?” she asked, cutting a glance at Owen. He shook his head. Maria refused to speak to him as well. “I’m so sorry, Maria. I want to make it up to you if you’ll tell me how.” She watched Maria’s fingers dig into the arms of the chair and her shoulders stiffen. “Please, Maria. You must forgive me.”
At this poor choice of words, Maria whirled in her chair, eyes wild. She tried to work her fingers through her matted curls and laughed, completely without any trace of mirth.
“I must forgive you?” she asked. Her voice was scratchy, perhaps from the tears she’d clearly shed since she was back to herself, perhaps from having Lucy speak through her all these weeks. Ariana repressed a shudder.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she pleaded, taking a step toward her. Maria shook her head forcefully. Ariana stopped. Maria was definitely herself again. The strange light in the depths of her eyes was gone, but something else had replaced it. A knowledge of something no one should have to know. “I only want to make things right,” she said. Before Maria could answer, Ariana already knew.
“Things will never be right for me again,” she hissed. Owen flinched. She pointed a trembling finger at him but kept her desolate eyes locked on Ariana. “You tried to erase me.”
“No,” he gasped. “That isn’t what—”
It was as if he hadn’t spoken. “You tried to blot out everything I loved and believed in and it killed me. You killed me.”
Owen cried in earnest now, shaking his head and repeating again and again that wasn’t what he wanted to do. He tried to say he loved her but Maria screeched angrily before he could get the words out.
“Don’t you dare. Do not dare. The things I had to endure. Too cold and too hot at the same time. Sometimes seeing, sometimes not. Never able to break free. It was like I was falling endlessly, endlessly and all I could see above me was you. It was torture.”
“She was trying to save you,” Owen said. Ariana really wanted to put her hand over his mouth. He wasn’t helping at all. “She did save you.” He seemed to realize he had admitted to causing her demise, however unwittingly, and clamped his lips together.
Another screech. Ariana flinched now. Not out of fear, but empathy. It was clear Maria was in terrible pain. “She saved me? That creature? That demon? That—”
“It was my sister,” he whispered.
“Enough, enough! Can’t you see how much I hate you? Both of you? I never want to see either one of you again.”
He put his head
