She had completely forgotten he was going back to check on an investment he’d made. She’d told him a hundred times he didn’t have to worry about it, but his manly pride made him insist on having money of his own. Normally she would have wanted to go with him and she pondered asking if he’d like company. He did look a little hopeful she would.
“Darling?” he prodded. “You look as if you won’t miss me at all. As if you’re plotting a grand party the second I leave.” He chuckled nervously and she shook her head.
“Don’t be silly,” she said with a stilted laugh. “Of course I’ll miss you. I still don’t know why you insist on going at all.”
He kissed her nose, then her lips. “Ah, my dear.” He looked at her wistfully and kissed her again. She leaned in, standing on her toes until he pulled away. “It’s so you can better love me.”
She didn’t understand him at all, but with her fears simmering for Owen, she barely noticed when he left. She decided to pour herself a glass of wine after all. Just a little something to sip on. Half a bottle later, she came back to the idea of somehow getting her parents to see what a marvelous life she’d made for herself.
A tear splashed into her empty wine glass and she shakily reached to refill it, noticing with dismay how much she’d already had. How horrified her mother would be if she knew just how often Ariana finished off a bottle of wine by herself. She couldn’t remember the last thing she’d said to her mum and the tears flowed harder. She missed them all so much, down to Cook and her father’s valet, Duncan. They all doted on her, and it was out of real affection, not the way everyone tiptoed around her here. No one here would tease her the way her bratty little brothers did or confide in her the way her best friend Maria would. Or used to.
She doubled over with a sob, thinking about how neatly she’d ruined Maria’s chance at happiness. So what if Owen had lied? If she was a true friend she would have found a way to help them. Made Mr. Winters see that Owen was worth his weight in gold even if he didn’t actually have two farthings to rub together. Instead she destroyed everything with her wicked tongue and the worst part of it was that she’d meant to do it. She still couldn’t figure out why, but it had been malice, plain and simple.
“Oh Mum, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
She cried into her skirts, wanting more than anything to feel her mother’s arms around her. Hear her father’s stern voice as he awkwardly patted her and told her everything would be fine. She knew she should dry her tears and join the others, or at least seek out Gloria and confess her misgivings. But she had so many misgivings to confess and how could she tell Gloria how badly she wanted to go home? They depended on her here.
No. She’d chosen this life. There had been a reason. A good one, she knew, though it was hard to muster up her old righteous anger when she was so lonely. She didn’t want any of her new friends. She wanted her family, but they were lost to her now. Beneath her desolation, she still had a shred of pride. As much as she knew her parents would welcome her back with open arms, that would only be the first day home. After that would come the censure, the disappointed looks, the punishments.
She gasped as a realization hit her. Not all of her family was truly lost to her. It was only that she’d have to find them. She dried her tears and raced for the stable.
“Saddle me a horse,” she demanded.
The boy looked at the lowering sun and then glanced nervously at the horses, all snug in their stalls for the night. “It’s a bit late, Your Majesty, but I suppose—”
“I suppose you’ll do as I say,” she snapped, glad for once they all danced around her every whim. “Saddle up Gilly. I’m going to London and want to get there as fast as possible.”
He made an obvious gulping sound. “London? You mean to ride all the way to London at this hour? It will be pitch black when you arrive. It’s not safe. If you’re determined to go, let me get Jacob and we’ll ready the carriage.”
Ariana stamped her foot. “It’s perfectly safe. Have you seen my hex to make a man fall into a heap and convulse until he pisses himself?” She had no such hex and was a little ashamed to make up something so terrible it made the stable boy’s eyes bug out, but she could use her feet and her fists as well or better than any man, thanks to her mother’s self-defence training. “Saddle up Gilly or get out of my way so I can.”
He bobbed his head and scrambled for the tack. She heard him muttering apologies to the horse and her conscience twinged. She almost gave up the idea. Surely it could wait until morning? But she knew she’d never sleep. She’d only drain another bottle dry and become morose again. She had to go now. She had to get into the loving arms of family once again.
***
Nick looked with distaste at the overly fussy top hat perched atop Milo’s shiny, bald head. It looked foolish with the staid, gray suit he wore. But now that he was escorting him back to 1814 where a man could bedeck himself in velvet and lace and not raise an eyebrow, Nick could tell that Milo could barely wait to change his clothes once they arrived. Milo seemed to read his thoughts and patted the richly embroidered traveling bag that was wedged between them on the carriage seat. It couldn’t have gone
