“Maverick?” She slid out of bed, turned on the light, and found him on the floor at the end of the bed. He whimpered, and his body was rigid. Occasionally, he’d jerk his feet as if running. Was this his PTSD, or just a normal dog dream? She sat down on the floor next to him, remembering what the vet had told them about grounding him.
“Maverick.” She tried to make her voice stern and commanding. No response except more whimpering. Swallowing hard, she reached her hand out toward his head, and petted him with as much pressure as she could. “Va bene, Maverick.” she said quietly. No that wasn’t right; she needed to be more forceful.
She cleared her throat. “Va bene! Va bene, Maverick! It’s okay! You’re safe. It’s time to wake up!” She heard her voice wobble, and took in a deep breath. “Va bene! Tu sei al sicuro!” She was probably butchering the pronounciation. She’d learned the phrase, “you are safe,” but hadn’t used it yet. She continued to pet him and say the phrases over and over.
His whimpering stopped, and his eyes popped open. He moved his head to look at her more closely, then looked around the room.
“Va bene, Maverick.” She saw the hall light come on, and Rob appeared in the doorway.
“Is he okay? I heard you shouting in Italian.”
“He seemed to be dreaming. I didn’t know if it was PTSD, but I followed Dr. Waring’s instructions to get him grounded and aware.”
Rob dropped to the floor on the other side of the dog. Maverick looked back and forth between them. “It’s okay, buddy. We’re both here. You’re safe.” He added his hand to the dog’s back, petting him firmly.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, although I was nervous about touching him. I didn’t know how he’d respond. I didn’t know if he’d recognize me, or if he’d attack me or something.”
“You mean, like I did?” He looked down at the dog again. “I guess it never hurts to be careful, but the longer he’s around you, the more he’ll recognize your scent, and that you’re a friend. I don’t think he’d attack unless directed to. He seems pretty relaxed. Was he worked up?”
“Mostly he was whimpering and jerking his feet like he was running.”
“The whimpering suggests he wasn’t chasing a rabbit. Maybe it was a bad dream, or a flashback.”
“That’s what I thought, too.”
“I’ll take him out.” He looked at the clock on her dresser. “You’ve got a couple more hours to sleep.”
“Thanks.”
They all scambled to their feet, and she turned away to head back to bed. Rob grabbed her wrist.
“I’m sorry I was such a jerk tonight. You did well with him. Not just now, but earlier, too. He’s in good hands.”
“I hope so.” She gazed up at him, and felt drawn in by the emotion in his eyes. They stared at each other, and she wasn’t sure who moved first. His arms encircled her, and she reached up to put her hands around his neck. She stretched up, and his lips met hers as he leaned down. What started as a brush of lips against each other quickly morphed into a passionate kiss. His tongue traced along the seam of her mouth, and she opened to meet it. The taste of him was unlike anyone else, and she suspected that no matter what happened between them, she’d never forget his masculine scent and the taste of him. She could do anything as long as his strong arms held her. She turned off her brain and gave herself over to the sensations of his tongue against hers, the sound of their breathing, and the warmth of her breath against his. His groan triggered her own intense moan, and she gripped him harder, aware of the hardness of his erection against her belly. She could get lost in this. She moved closer, rubbing herself against him, and moaning again.
His hands drifted over her back, sliding down to cup her ass and pull her closer. She felt his hard length as she ground herself into him. He froze and pushed her back.
“I’m sorry, MJ. I shouldn’t do this. I have a lot of work to do on myself before I can be a guy who’s good enough for you.”
She looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I want to be the kind of guy who is right for you. Right now, I’m broken. I need to clear my head to be able to move beyond the stuff I saw over there. I need to get rid of the ghosts, so that I can be here for you. I want to be someone you can be proud of. I want to be someone who deserves you.”
“Does that mean we can’t be together?” She gestured at the two of them.
“As difficult as it will be, yes.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Lord save me from stupid men. I’m a grown-ass woman. I know what I want. I don’t need you to decide what I deserve.” She continued to shake her head. What was wrong with her that she seemed to pick men who couldn’t take a chance and have a relationship? Men who supposedly cared about her but were reluctant to show it? First Trevor, now Rob. “Go. Just go.”
She turned her back on him and climbed into bed. She threw one last dirty look at him before reaching over to turn out the light. Then, giving her back to him, she sighed and pretended to go to sleep.
She woke up to her alarm at 6 a.m. She fumbled with it, but finally silenced it. She’d had trouble getting back to sleep, and now her head was foggy, and it hurt to move. She felt rusted shut. Maybe
