I licked my lips, carefully thinking through my next words. “Maybe you haven’t fed it the right things.”
Azazel’s eyes narrowed as he gazed at me. “What are you suggesting?” His tone was dangerous, clipped and sharp.
I was about to venture into dangerous territory. Strange territory.
The kind there was no coming back from.
And maybe he would trust me more, if he knew what I was willing to do for them. They’d saved me from curling up and dying, brought down by my circumstances.
Maybe I could save him from himself.
“The mark you spoke of earlier,” I began, my mouth suddenly dry as cotton. “It was a mating gift. The kind that… binds souls together.”
Pain stabbed my heart. A mark like the kind Belial had given me.
I had my own void to contend with.
Azazel seemed to barely be breathing. “That is what they do, yes. I would feel you as you feel me.”
“Well… if you gave me this mark, perhaps it would link you to my soul. You could fill yours with mine. Maybe it wouldn’t feel so empty anymore.”
My eyes dropped to his lips. Heat rose in me at the memory of what they felt like on my thighs, kissing a blazing trail on my skin…
Azazel was my tutor in magic, and not necessarily a kind one, but he drew me like a lodestone. He’d done nothing but raise me up from desperation from the moment I’d fallen. Like Tascius, he made me want to give him parts of myself.
To my surprise, his eyes frosted over. “If I gave you this mark, I would expect you not to push me away when Belial is near.”
“I…” I was speechless. The first time I’d nearly fallen under his spell of lust, I’d been terrified for my life, uncertain of Belial’s temper. My own temper flared at Azazel’s insinuation that a mating mark would mean nothing between us. “If I gave you my feather, I would expect you to visit more often than once a week or when someone’s in dire need. I don’t hand them out like candy. You would be mine just as much as I would be yours, and that means actually being around.”
The Watcher pushed a little closer, forcing my legs further apart. “If you could call for me, I would always be there.”
He practically purred it, his thumb stroking down my chin and over my throat. My lungs seemed unable to draw in a full breath while he was touching me like this.
“Then maybe we should give this idea some serious consideration.”
“Oh, I am.” His fingers moved around the nape of my neck, running over the delicate skin there. “I know exactly where I would place it.”
Goosebumps rose under the spot he touched. “Are… are you going to do it now?”
I was oddly disappointed by the thought. If we were going to be soul-bound, I didn’t want it to be as emotionless as a business transaction.
“No.” Azazel’s clipped tones were back in place. He dragged his hand away from my neck. “If we do this, we do it right. I’ve never had the desire to mark someone before. I won’t waste my one opportunity.”
I breathed a silent sigh of relief.
I wanted the same thing, the deep intimacy I’d felt when I claimed Tascius as my own. Azazel was still a mystery in so many ways, but in his shadows, under his stars, I felt at home.
And right now, I felt like I’d just arranged myself a marriage of sorts. I hope he didn’t feel it was a bond of convenience, not when I hungered for him in the same way, and still had yet to taste much more of him than his lips.
But he’d said if. If we do this.
I wondered if he felt the same thing for me under his ravenous hunger that I felt for him. I looked down, taking in the dried blood on my hands.
“Please, Azazel. Tell me what did this to him.”
The Watcher stiffened, but said nothing.
“I should say goodbye to Lucifer,” I muttered, suddenly self-conscious. Perhaps it was just an arrangement of convenience for him, when I’d all but laid my emotional cards on the table.
He still didn’t trust me.
“You want to leave already?” Azazel demanded.
I met flickering violet eyes, refusing to nurse the hope that sprouted in me. “I should give you time to consider this proposition.”
His lips twisted, but he stepped back, allowing me to slide off the balustrade. “If you wish.”
I wasn’t going to cling to him and seem needy, despite my intense desire for their company. I wished he would just come with me back to my half of the Seventh Circle, but he didn’t offer, and I didn’t ask.
Or you could shelve your pride for two seconds and just ask.
I swept the errant thought away. My pride was the engine that kept me running.
It also fucked up everything I’d had with Belial.
I pushed open Lucifer’s door. He was still sleeping, his body knitting itself back together after the trauma.
I climbed across the covers to brush a kiss over his cheek. He exhaled softly, almost a sigh, and his eyelids flickered, but he remained unconscious.
It was terrible to see him brought this low.
“I’m ready to go home,” I said quietly to Azazel, closing the door behind me. If Lucifer was fine, I’d be able to tell him what I’d meant before, that he wasn’t just something I’d grasped for when I’d had nothing left.
Azazel bore us back to my Circle on his shadows, materializing us in the middle of my bedroom.
I looked up at him, wondering if I should ask him to stay the night… or if that was pushing my proposition too far.
He gazed back into my eyes, his expression darkening.
My words seemed caught in a net, unable to break free.
“Good night, Lady Wrath,” he said, and kissed my fingers before he released me.
I remained at the window for a long time after he vanished, feeling like I’d had an opportunity in my hands, and let it slip
