She laughed and held out a hand to Lucifer, saying something I couldn’t quite hear.
It was like watching a family, and I was on the other side of a glass wall, seeing everything but separate from it all.
The void in my chest ached, pulsing for her. It wanted to taste her, touch her… mark her, and never share her.
If I let that jealous, hungry creature inside take over, I would destroy her happiness.
But if she was right, if my demon-cunning angel’s soul mended mine…
I could be happy, too.
Melisande looked up and saw me watching. She beckoned, a wide smile on her face, inviting me into her happy bubble.
My fingers tightened. I felt the tomb Lucifer had spoken of, all my iron self-control wrapped around me in layers, holding me back from everything but duty and responsibility. The tomb was necessary. It kept the hunger in check.
It was a weight on my chest, a vise around my soul. It dragged me into the deepest trenches of darkness, where love was treated as a suspicion and a crime.
Deep down, I knew I trusted her. She trusted us, her magic linking her to us more deeply every day. If Lucifer and I wanted to accomplish our plans, she was now an irrevocable part of it.
She’d made Hell her home because of us.
I exhaled, forced my muscles to loosen. Let the vise break apart. I knew where I stood, where I wanted to belong.
Then I left my tomb and walked inside.
13
Melisande
It felt like being home, being surrounded by the ones I loved.
There was just one gap, a hole where another belonged, waiting for him to fill it with his presence.
“I healed him,” I said, extending a hand to Azazel to pull him onto the couch next to me. He seemed different after his tense talk with Lucifer, like a weight had been pulled from his shoulders.
To my surprise, he wove his fingers through mine in front of everybody. “I knew you could do it. You’ve learned quickly,” he said, his violet eyes unshadowed. Little stars spangled the air around him.
“Thanks to the best teacher in Hell.” I squeezed his hand. “But I think it’s time we had a talk.”
“Everybody wants to have talks today,” Lucifer muttered.
I shot him a look. “I have something important to tell you. Remember the night when we were all together, and we discussed… regicide?”
“Nobody could forget that particular discussion, friend.” Tascius still held me on his lap, refusing to let go.
Lucifer leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees. “Now I’m intrigued.”
I took a deep breath. God, but telling the truth was hard. “This is about… why I fell. And why I would be useful to you. I haven’t been entirely honest.”
Azazel was silent as I disentangled my hand from his and turned it towards them so they could see the diamond pattern scarred on my palm. “I want to destroy Gabriel because he threw me out of Heaven. I touched the Sword of Light and didn’t burn. I think if I could get close to it again, maybe… maybe I could do it again. And use it to kill him.”
They didn’t need to ask which him I was referring to, but oddly, none of them seemed shocked by the news that I’d done the impossible and lived.
“Why is no one surprised?”
“Well, angel, we already knew.” Azazel smiled slightly, stroking my palm with his fingertips. “I saw the scars when Belial first brought you to his Circle and realized what they were.”
I was struck dumb for a moment. “You already knew and didn’t say anything?”
They could’ve bagged a fortune if they’d sold me off when they first realized. Many higher demons would’ve been overjoyed to have a fallen angel who’d once poked Gabriel in the eye, however inadvertently.
They could’ve used me as a weapon against Gabriel himself.
Lucifer gave me a crooked smile of his own. “I wanted you to trust us enough to tell us yourself.”
“Of course I trust you.” I curled my fingers around Azazel’s. “I wouldn’t have given you my feather if I didn’t trust you. It’s just… the time didn’t seem right, you know. I’m not going to talk about that prick Gabriel while I’m in bed with another man.”
Lucifer nodded gravely. “It would’ve been a buzzkill, yes.”
“I’m glad you told us,” Azazel said quietly. “And you know perfectly well what we’re planning. I think you are the last piece of the puzzle we need. You belong with us.”
He said it with such conviction all I could do was stare for a moment. Then he raised my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles.
What the hell had Lucifer said to him?
The Morningstar held my gaze, his swirling tattoos rippling as his arms tightened. “We need you as much as we want you. I refused to serve in Heaven, but now I serve in Hell… and all I serve is more chaos and insanity. If we do this, we do it together.”
I nodded. His feather touched my neck, a phantom caress from his fingers. “Of course. I’ve chosen you all, and I hope… I hope that now all the secrets are out between us.”
Tascius held me tighter. “I have no secrets to speak of that you don’t already know.”
Azazel opened my palm again, frowning at the scars. “No more secrets… but I am curious. You were innocent of any crime, so why didn’t God intervene on your behalf?”
The room fell silent and everyone’s gaze fell on my palm.
I itched to close my fingers again and hide the scars. “I don’t know. Nobody has heard God’s word in years. The archangels tell us they’re acting on his word, though.”
His frown deepened. “It seems to me that they’re acting on their own orders.”
Lucifer cocked his head. “Don’t tell me you’re suggesting we make war on Heaven, too.”
“Once we’ve deposed the Red Dragon, we can do whatever we like.” Azazel allowed me to close my hand
