Adelie closed her eyes. “Don’t,” she said.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t kiss me out of pity or because of what I said. I want you to kiss me because this marriage means something to you.” Because I mean something to you.
“Adelie.” Her name rumbled in his throat. He tightened his hold around her. “It’s more than that,” he said. “I want it to be more. Please, let me prove it to you.”
“No. I’m sorry, Maddox, but I can’t do this. Not if you still have feelings for Ruby, not if this is all going to end in heartache. I’ve never kissed anyone before, but I get the feeling doing so is going to give you too much of me, and I won’t be able to recover if I lost that. Good night.”
She hurried to her room and shut the door, not wanting him to see her cry.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Maddox was baffled. He couldn’t understand what would make her so hesitant to trust—not only him, but everyone. This was more than shyness, more than uncertainty or hesitation. She’d mentioned how hard it had been when her parents had abandoned her. Was that what made her so resistant to letting people in?
He checked the time back in Vermont. Though it was evening here in Paris, it was morning there. Would Suzie be awake?
Maybe this was a mistake, but he got the feeling Adelie wouldn’t tell him if he came right out and asked. Suzie might have some idea of how he could approach the conversation he was hoping to have with Adelie.
She thought he still had feelings for Ruby; that wasn’t the case at all. Ruby was a viper. Duncan hadn’t been kidding about the risk she’d pose to Adelie if they were ever in the same room. Maddox truly had been trying to keep his word to Adelie, that he would protect her.
It’d been the reason he’d drawn away to have the conversation with Ruby earlier. He’d known how Ruby would argue with him when he asked her to back off and mind her own business. He’d finally ordered her to back off and ended the call, only to turn and find Adelie had vanished from the bridge.
Suzie could help him. She’d seemed peppy and friendly. Most of all, something told him she would be open to anything that would help Adelie, which was all he wanted. Impulsively, he dashed into the hall, to make sure Adelie didn’t overhear the call.
“Hello?” Suzie’s answer was bright and perky.
“Hey, Suzie, this is Maddox. Do you have a minute?”
“Sure. Good morning! Or I guess evening there. What’s up?”
Maddox wasn’t sure how to bring it up. He shared a little bit of the connection he’d been having with Adelie, careful not to disclose too much.
“But I can’t seem to get close to her. She doesn’t trust easily, does she?”
The other end of the line was quiet long enough, he thought she’d hung up on him. “Okay,” Suzie finally said as if on an exhale. “Adelie will kill me if I tell you everything, but I’m going to tell you enough to help you get her, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, unexpectedly unsure he wanted to hear whatever it was.
“Did Adelie tell you we were raised by our grandparents?” Suzie asked.
“She did. She said it was one reason she wanted to save their house.”
“Yep. Did she tell you why?”
Maddox thought it over, trying to recall a conversation where the why had been mentioned. “She’s closed off about it, but she did say they abandoned you when you both were young,” he said. “And that her best memories were in your house.”
“Maddox.” Suzie’s tone was solemn. “Our dad was a deadbeat. Borderline abusive, in and out of jail. Mom left him, left us, during the worst of it, and then they got in a car accident and passed away.”
“Oh my gosh,” Maddox said, stricken at the sound of the words.
“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty for a while there. Finally, our grandparents intervened and got us out of a bad situation. If she’s having a hard time trusting you, don’t take it too hard. It’s not you. I’m sure you’re a decent guy. She just took it so hard, she was so young, you know? When it all happened.”
“How old was she?”
“Seven,” Suzie said. “She was seven when we left my dad and moved in with Grandma and Grandpa Carroll. Our lives were so much better, but I was able to forgive, let go, and move on much quicker than Addy was. Just give her time. Let her tell you her story and follow her lead.”
“Wow,” Maddox said, speechless. What did a person say to news like that? “Suzie, I’m so sorry that happened to you both.”
It explained so much. Why Adelie hated being in the spotlight. Why she hated crowds, why she seemed so hesitant to let him touch her, to accept his compliments or assurances. There were times when he said or did things, and he sensed her pull away.
Mostly, it explained why she’d taken his actions so hard today when all he’d done was answered a different woman’s phone calls—at Adelie’s request, no less.
He didn’t know much about helping someone overcome the results of such an abrasive situation, but he was certain about one thing. He wanted Adelie to trust him, to feel safer with him than she’d ever felt in her life. He wanted to help her heal.
***
Adelie tossed and turned, fighting away tears the entire night. She was so messed up. Why couldn’t she just let go of the past, of every insecurity that had stuck with her since her childhood? Her body had grown and lengthened as she’d grown into adulthood. Her face had matured, showing years of change from the babyish roundedness it had once had. She’d changed on the outside. Why couldn’t her soul keep up the pace?
She knew Maddox wasn’t like her father. Her brain knew it, anyway. Her heart was the tortoise in this race, unlike
