“Perhaps,” he began, turning his head to Harlow quickly before glancing back at her. “You would be willing to come home. If only for a little while. I would... I would love to show you where you belonged.”
Her lip trembled at that, and she bit it harshly. Tears were going to pool if she allowed herself to soften, if she dropped even a modicum of her self-control. She could not keep her hand from shaking, however, as if her body did not much care what her mind required of it, and suddenly Grimult’s hand was there, clasping it softly, hiding it away from prying eyes.
They had discussed this. No touching while others were near.
She did not care that he had broken their agreement.
Not when she needed him.
She did not miss the narrowing of multiple eyes as they looked at their conjoined hands with varying levels of suspicion. But it was not enough to make her shake loose of her husband’s hold, and if she raised her chin a little higher, then perhaps they would see she had no shame in it.
“You’re her Guardian,” Harlow observed, as if finally seeming it necessary to acknowledge that Grimult had a role in this as well. He turned to his left. “They announced his name, didn’t they?”
“Grimult,” Penryn answered for them, squeezing his hand a little more firmly. “And yes, he is as you say.”
And more.
Rezen was giving her a peculiar look, but she could not quite put a meaning to it. But it shifted again, back to entreaty. “Won’t you come home?” he asked, his voice almost too hoarse for her to hear.
Penryn glanced at Grimult. “We have been offered lodging here,” she hedged, trying to decide if it would be rudeness itself to simply abandon their hosts upon the first offer of another kind.
Even if that offer was a lifetime in coming, was enough to send a wail through the fledgling parts of her, insisting and demanding that she see all she could, that she meet the woman who had given birth to her.
Had... loved her.
Rezen gave a look toward the kitchen doorway, and she could well picture him storming through and insisting their hosts release them from their acceptance at once, but that would not be civil and Braun and Milsandra had been nothing but kind to them.
Even now, they wore clothes that were only borrowed. “A moment,” she asked, needing to think, needing council that could not be given in a room full of...
She did not know what to call them.
They were so willing to accept her, to lay claim to a person they already seemed to take as one of their own. But she knew nothing of what it mean to be part of a clan, let alone part of a family, and the retreat was for her own sake as well as the urge to put things right with their hosts.
The fledglings were already gone by the time they entered. Braun and Milsandra were seated at the table, holding hands and looking seriously toward the table, but they stood rapidly as Penryn entered. “Let us not pretend you could not hear all,” Penryn said with a sigh, grateful more than anything that she would not have to explain it all.
They looked to one another, before Braun gave a low nod. “If you are coming to ask if you may go with your father, the answer is yes,” he offered before she even had time to find the words.
“Your things will take that long to dry out, in any case,” Milsandra added. “We can meet tomorrow.” She smiled, but it was a tight, worried thing, and Penryn wondered what troubled her.
“You have been so very kind,” Penryn murmured, watching as Grimult went to retrieve their boots. They would be damp still, but it was better than going out into the elements in only stockinged feet. “I am sorry if I have brought trouble to your home, or if you regret your hospitality now that you know...” she paused, sighing deeply. “Who I am,” she finished with a slight slump to her shoulders. She took the boots from Grimult and knelt to tend to the laces herself while he did the same, and it held her attention for the moment.
“No trouble,” Braun assured her, but Penryn could not help but glance to Milsandra instead, looking for her own pronouncement.
She waved away Penryn’s concern and shook her head. “We’d all heard Rezen’s tale. I was but a girl then, and maybe I thought it was just talk. But for you to be here, and to see what was done to you...” Penryn paled, and it was with shakier legs that she stood to her full height. “Long have we mistrusted the sages. I think now more than ever, we were right to do so.”
Even now, regardless of how Penryn hated that it existed within her, something urged her to defend them. To offer assurances and platitudes that her duty was a necessary one, and their purpose was the protection of their people as a whole.
That their intentions were honourable, even if their methods were not.
But she could not in good conscience say any of that, not when there was a man so close who had known the most harm they were capable of, and called it a necessity.
“Until tomorrow, then,” Penryn said instead. “Thank you for the meal, it was most nourishing.”
A hint of her usual smile returned when Milsandra heard that, and she nodded. A clamour from the sleeping quarters, drew their attention, and Braun rolled his eyes before begging their pardon and departing.
At the additional clamour and the slightly raised voice, Milsandra hurried after with a weary sigh.
Leaving Grimult and Penryn alone, if only for all too brief a moment.
She opened her mouth to ask if she had chosen rightly or if they should have stayed here where they were safe and warm and could deal with things in the morning after a night of much
