But now, as I sit here in bed, trying to get my brain to work, I have the strangest feeling that I might be too late. “Gemma,” I call out, but when my words aren’t met with an answer, I kick the covers off and go for my phone. I’m about to text her when I remember that she was going shopping with her sister. It is late morning, so she probably let me sleep in while she slipped out.
Worry leaves my gut, and a smile I have no control over tugs at my mouth. Tonight, I’m going to tell Gemma how I feel, and pray to fucking God she wants what I want. The thoughts of bringing another child into this world, of making a commitment to Gemma, don’t scare me like they used to.
I take a shower, eat breakfast, and tidy up a bit. I’m spending a few hours in the garage when my phone pings. My heart jumps, and I laugh. Yeah, I’m batshit crazy about the girl, but disappointment sits heavy when I see it’s Mason. I slide my finger across the phone.
“Hey.”
“Jeez, don’t be so happy to hear from me.”
I laugh. “I just thought you were Gemma.”
“Big difference, bro. You free?”
“I am.”
“Good, come on over and shoot some pool with us.”
“Sounds like a great plan. Be there shortly.” I end the call and shoot a text off to Gemma. I wait a few minutes and when no response comes, I chalk it up to her being with her sister, or maybe she misplaced her phone again. She seems to do that a lot.
I tuck my phone into my back pocket, hop into my car and make my way to Burgers and Brews. A few of the guys are already inside, shooting the shit while they shoot a game of pool.
“Hey, look what the cat dragged in,” Jack says.
“Funny.”
“Gemma let you out, did she?” Colin teases.
“I don’t need to ask permission.”
“No, he doesn’t. He just prefers her company to ours,” Mason says as he throws his arm around my shoulder.
“Can’t blame him for that,” Colin says. “I’m just pissed I didn’t get to call first dibs.”
A jolt of jealousy races through me. “You,” I say and point at Colin. “Keep ten feet away.” Colin is a huge player. A different pair of women’s panties on his floor every morning. At least that’s what I’ve been told.
“Pussy-whipped,” Colin teases.
“One day when you fall for a girl, you’ll see what it’s like.”
The three guys go perfectly still, all eyes trained on me and that’s when I realize what I said. “Yeah, I love her, so fuck off.”
Laughter breaks out around me, and I get numerous pats on the back. “I’m happy for you, buddy,” Mason says. “You deserve someone like Gemma in your life.”
“Yeah, you do,” Colin says. “But Jesus, what did she ever do to end up with the likes of you? She must have pissed someone off in a past lifetime.”
I grab him and put his head in a grip. “Asshole,” I say as I rub my knuckles over his head. The waitress comes and clears her throat. “Oh, hey,” Tara says. “Keep that up and Jesse will toss your ass out of here.”
“Not likely,” Mason says. “Not when he finds out our boy here is in love.”
A wide smile spreads over Tara’s face. She throws her arms around me. “Callan, I’m so happy. I’ve seen you and Gemma together, and you guys are such a good couple.” She glances around. “Is she here?”
“No, she’s not, and guys, I haven’t even told her that I love her yet and I’m not sure how she feels, so keep it quiet.”
They all zip their lips and while I know I can trust them, I’m sure they’re bursting to spread the news.
“Don’t worry. She loves you too,” Tara says.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’m a woman and I know things.” She turns and eyes Colin. “Not a word from the peanut gallery,” she warns. “Can I get you a beer, Callan?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“It’s on the house,” she says and as she walks away, I check my phone again, hoping to hear from Gemma. I frown.
“Pussy-whipped,” Colin teases under his breath and I grab a pool cue.
“Play me. It’s been a while since I beat your sorry ass.”
I spend the next couple of hours hanging with the guys and for the first time in a very long time, I feel like myself again. I’ll always love Zoe. Always. She was my first, my everything, and the mother of our child, and deep in my heart, I know she’d be happy for Gemma and me. She wouldn’t want me alone, just like I wouldn’t want her alone.
“I’m checking out, guys,” I say, after glancing at my phone again.
More pats come on the back. “Good seeing you,” Mason says, and I know exactly what he means. He hasn’t seen the real me in a very long time. I head out, make a quick trip to the grocery store so I can make something special for Gemma, and I pick her up some flowers. But as more and more time passes, worry gnaws at my gut.
I grab my phone and call her, but it goes to voice mail. I’m a worrier by nature, especially after Zoe’s accident, and not hearing from her all day doesn’t sit right. Something must be wrong. I pace around inside my place, going through every worst scenario I can think of. Finally,I look up David and Amanda’s number and call.
“Hello,” Amanda says, and if nothing is wrong, I don’t want to worry her.
“Hey Amanda. Is Gemma still with you?”
A moment of silence and then, “No, ah. She’s not.”
My stomach tightens, and I don’t miss the unease in Amanda’s voice. “She’s
