I’m impressed by his drive, but I can’t lie, the schedule puts me off.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Nothing.” I shrug. I can tell that he doesn’t believe me. “Well, it’s not that I’m not happy for you. I am. I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed. I mean, this is college. I want you to have time for fun and your friends.”
“And you.” He finishes my sentence.
“That’s not what I said,” I say, even though that’s what I meant.
“Don’t worry.” He gives me a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll make time for us. I’m not going to work too hard.”
“Okay.” I nod.
The following night, I don’t see Hudson until 7 p.m. He’s at his internship all day and then I get a text that he’s going to happy hour with his associates after work. I won’t admit it out loud, but I’m annoyed. It’s only the first day and it’s already irritating me. I hate that I want him to spend time with me. Make time for me. I don’t want to be that girl; I want to be supportive and steadfast, but I’m not. The best I can do is keep my mouth shut.
“Guess what?” Hudson asks me that night after he comes home. “I didn’t have to use my fake ID downtown.”
“Really?”
“Apparently, those bartenders don’t card anyone in a suit. At least, according to Kathryn.”
“Who’s Kathryn?”
“Oh, she’s just one of the people I work with. She’s quite impressive actually. She graduated from NYU’s Stern School of Business last year. She worked at Young’s for three summers while she was in college before they hired her. She’s really driven.”
I shrug and nod. Suddenly, I get a strange feeling about the whole thing. Like the existence of Kathryn will play a significant role in the events that are about to take place.
The next afternoon, I walk into the one class that I’m really excited about taking this semester: Victorian Literature. I can’t believe that I have actually been going around calling myself an English major and I have never read Pride and Prejudice or anything by Charles Dickens. That’s one of the reasons I’m so excited about the class. I’m sure that it will fix all of my literary shortcomings.
“Hey!” Tea says, sitting down in the seat next to mine with a big, wide smile across her face.
I’m just as happy to see her.
“I was hoping you’d be in this class,” I say.
Tea and I met last semester. After a few awkward weeks when she and Hudson were sort of dating and Hudson was refusing to define their relationship or be exclusive, Tea and I developed quite a friendship.
“You look really good,” I say, looking her up and down. Tea has always had a gorgeous face, the kind that would have Renaissance painters swooning. Now, she’s even more radiant.
“Thanks for noticing.” She blushes. “I lost twenty-three pounds. I’m a size twelve now.”
“Wow, that’s amazing.” I smile. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I haven’t been a size twelve since ninth grade.”
I nod. Tea is one of those beautiful big women who you’d never know was unhappy with her weight. While I have a tendency to slouch, she always stands up straight.
“I do feel like I lost it all in my boobs though.” She laughs, grabbing her 36 DDs.
“What inspired you to do all this?” I ask.
“I got home from school in December, stepped on the scale, and discovered that I was 198 pounds. That’s almost 200! I’ve never been so heavy in my whole life. So, I knew that I had to do something about it. Quick.”
I look at her body a little closer. Her waistline is more defined and her breasts are perky and sit higher on her body than they used to. Her eyes don’t look so tired anymore either. Even her skin has a kind of glow to it. Though the last two things could really be because it’s the first week of the new semester, not finals week. I’m sure that my eyes aren’t that tired right now either.
“Oh. I have more news,” she whispers as the professor introduces herself and passes out the syllabus.
“I’m dating someone now!” she says with a little shriek at the end.
“Who?”
“This guy. His name is Tanner. He’s a grad student in architecture.”
I’m so happy for her. She’s a really good girl and she deserves to find someone who can appreciate her for her.
“What about you? You seeing anyone special?” she asks.
My heart jumps into my throat. I should’ve expected this question, but for some reason I didn’t.
I don’t know why, but I didn’t expect to talk about Hudson. This is the only thing that’s weird in our relationship. I like Tea a lot and I know that we can even be closer than we are now. Except that there’s Hudson. Guys always get in the way.
I mouth “later” and pretend that I’m listening to what the professor has to say. I don’t want to answer her question. I don’t know how she’ll react, but I know that it will be a defining moment. If she’s upset, we probably won’t be friends. No matter how hard I try. If she doesn’t care, then we’ll be okay.
The professor is giving an introduction about Charles Dickens. The importance of Oliver Twist for his society and how that book redefined the way the society thought about poverty and child labor and workhouses. It’s fascinating, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t quiet my mind. It keeps going back to Tea’s question. All I can think about is how I’m going to tell Tea about Hudson, and whether I even should. I mean, I could lie. I could pretend that everything’s fine. That we’re just friends. I’m sure that I can even get Hudson to go along with it. He wouldn’t really care either way, but then what would we have? Would we really be friends if I’m hiding this big part of my life from her?
By the end of class, I
