Fuck. It was a mess. And I was being a dick, smoking my fourth cigarette.
When it was gone, I sauntered back in the apartment. She was in the hallway, her face bright red as she was trying to drag one of the big boxes to the spare bedroom. Muttering a curse, I hurried to her, going to grab the box.
“I got it,” she snapped, batting my hands away.
“Don’t be stubborn. You aren’t supposed to lift that much.”
Taking a deep breath, she snarled, “I said I got it. Why… don’t you… go back out… and have a Joe.” She kept on tugging and pulling and grunting. She was pissed. Pissed enough that her other accent slipped through. I still couldn’t place it, but it wasn’t native to Tennessee.
I put my hands over hers on the box. Her eyes became thin slits. “You’re going to hurt yourself. Let me help, please.” She didn’t budge. I released a breath. “I just needed a fucking minute, okay? We’re all entitled to a little freak-out every once in a while.”
The tears welling up in her eyes had my icy exterior thawing. “You aren’t allowed to,” she said so quietly I barely heard it.
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
“You aren’t allowed to freak out,” she repeated, louder that time. “You’ve been so steady this whole time. I can’t… you can’t freak out on me.” She let go of the box, wrapping her arms around her belly. I stared like an idiot. “I know things aren’t… ideal, but I thought we were making it work.”
I leaned the box against the wall, going over to grip her arms. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, brushing a hand over her cheek to catch a tear. “I just needed a few minutes to work some things out. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”
Bottom lip trembling, she nodded. I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in that jasmine and orange scent that was only hers. I kissed her forehead before pulling back to catch the smile tugging at her lips. The sight warmed my cold bones. My full-blown freak-out was subdued by a smile from her. That was all it took. It helped me realize what the root of my problem was. The woman owned me. She was it. I would do whatever it took to keep her in my life. The babies were a huge perk, but she was the prize.
“Okay. You want me to get these put together once they’re in the room?”
Another nod before I moved the box and she followed me to the room. She stayed in there with me, sorting through the clothes and accessories while I put the cribs together.
“They’re gonna need a dresser for all that,” I told her, tilting my head toward the pile of folded clothes.
She frowned. “We’ll need a couple more things yet.”
I watched her while I screwed a couple pieces of the second crib together. “We’ll go tomorrow. Get whatever you need.”
Mouth quirked, she nodded, then went back to folding. “You should talk to your friend. Tell him to give Mia some slack,” she said so randomly, still staring at the clothes, that it took me a second to figure out what she was talking about.
When it clicked, I sighed. Mia had been acting weird, not just that day but even when we were in Oregon. It had to suck for her when Pierce was gone—she didn’t like being alone—but it was probably made even worse when our parents forced themselves on her, like she couldn’t handle life on her own. I was glad she’d confided in someone—and Kate, of all people.
“Mia talked to you?”
“Just a little.” She shrugged, but I could see she cared. “She doesn’t like being babysat.”
That made sense. Exactly as I’d thought. Mia wanted space. I would have to talk to Pierce before Mia started pulling back from him just because she felt too crowded.
“She say anything else?” I asked.
“Mostly that she hates Pierce having to leave, but she doesn’t want to ask him to find a different job.”
Yep, a call to Pierce would be necessary. Which I probably needed to do anyway, since he’d asked me to be his best man.
I didn’t comment any further though, because Kate’s eyes were drooping. Luckily I had both cribs put together, but we needed to get mattresses for them. And other things.
It could wait till tomorrow.
The next couple days were spent shopping for the rest of the things she needed for that room: a dresser, changing table, a glider chair for Kate, and some shelves she wanted to decorate the room with. It probably could have waited since she was only twenty-four weeks, but I was leaving in a week and a half. And as much as she tried hiding it, I could tell when those contractions that weren’t really supposed to be contractions happened. I was constantly worried, especially since I was leaving. I wasn’t sure what would happen when I did.
I was watching her work on Sunday, wondering how the hell I was going to talk to her about everything. We mostly bullshitted after that night of my freak-out, but I had to figure out my living situation in Ohio. I didn’t dare mention to her that I was still holding on to that ring my dad gave me. Time was against us.
While I watched her serving, sitting at one of her tables having a bowl of that gumbo she enjoyed so much, she kept stopping and hunching over slightly every fifteen minutes or
