“Temp, what the fuck was that?!” Tristan called after me, following me down the hall.
“It was me making a point - I bet she won’t say shit else to me,” I shrugged.
“Yeah but she might press charges.”
“And I’ll beat her ass for real then. Fuck her. Or hell, maybe I shouldn’t say that to you.”
He sucked his teeth. “Man, come on with that shit.”
“No you come on. Unless I’m still being unreasonable.”
From there, I really did leave, exhausted at this point of having this circular conversation with him. He wasn’t interested in seeing past his own bullshit, and I wasn’t interested in accepting it.
And I hated how this whole thing was making me feel.
I’d gone from floating on a cloud of orgasmic bliss to…whatever the fuck this was.
But still, I refused to go along with whatever got dished in my direction. I liked Tristan - a lot.
A whole lot.
However, my inexperience didn’t mean I was stupid.
I’d seen and acted out entirely too much to fall for the usual shit.
That didn’t make it not hurt though.
It took until I was back at the candle shop - without groceries or a lover - that it really hit me. Such a drastic range of emotions over the course of barely half a day… Could that be good for anyone?
Back in my apartment, I pulled out my phone to call Alicia, again.
“I should kill him I think,” I said, as soon as she answered the phone.
“That was a fast honeymoon period,” she said. “What happened?”
“He…shit, I don’t know how to explain it,” I admitted. “But I hate how I feel right now. I hate it. So I should kill him.”
“Killing him wouldn’t solve anything,” Alicia countered.
“It would solve literally everything.”
“Tempest… stop, okay? Just tell me what’s wrong?”
I blew out a big sigh, dropping to the edge of the bed with my eyes closed. “His ex. Well…his exes. He has a kid, and obviously she has a mother. She’s not really the problem though.”
“Okay… So what is then?”
“The more recent ex. And the fact that he’s still involved enough with her that she feels comfortable making slick comments that he won’t check. And not just that - he was tattooing her, and she does his locs for him, and openly flirts, and he doesn’t see a problem with any of it. He expects me to be okay with it. And since I’m not okay with it, he’s acting like I’m… like I’m overreacting for not accepting this bullshit.”
Alicia pushed out a sigh. “Yeah, sounds about right, based on… damn near everything I know, have read, have heard, have seen from men. It’s common. So… welcome to normalcy.”
“Cree wouldn’t do this type of shit.”
“Cree is a grown ass man. He’s got a decade on your little friend over there,” Alicia laughed. “He was probably doing the same shit at twenty and thirty - and let’s not overlook the fact that he literally has a child with my friend.”
“But you all handle it like adults, which makes it work.”
“True. But I thought you said his daughter’s mother isn’t the problem?”
I sighed. “She’s not. It’s this other bitch. Who...I may or may not have choked?”
“Tempest!”
“I’m sick of her mouth!” I defended, even though I knew it was weak. “And I… don’t like that Tristan seems so attached to her. Or that he didn’t seem to have a problem with her talking shit to me, but the moment I opened my mouth, it was a problem.”
“That would piss me off too.”
“Right?! So I just… I don’t know. I feel like this is already over, before it even really started. Just this morning, I was so enthralled, so…”
“Dick whipped?”
I laughed. “Yeah, if you wanna call it that. But now… It’s like I’ve seen too much to be willing to accept this Nya woman as part of some package deal when it’s not like she’s this great friend to him or something.”
“And you don’t have to!” A new voice chimed, making me sit straight up. “Temp, it’s Loren. Alicia stepped out to take this call but I’m nosy and her phone is up loud.”
I chuckled.
Loren was the friend Cree had a child with -a bubbly, straightforward doctor who Cree knew before he and Alicia were a thing.
Yeah, I was all in their business.
So it didn’t bother me for Loren to be in mine, especially if she was about to give me something useful.
“Listen honey - you’re new to this relationship stuff, right? I know it feels like a drawback, but it’s not -cause you’re not jaded and worn down yet. So many of us have been subjected to men’s manipulations and gaslighting to the point that it feels normal. As if we should expect our feelings not to matter, so we swallow them to seem cool or unbothered, but fuck that. Having a man is not the only good thing in life. It’s barely top fucking five. Or hell, ten. He wants to grin in another bitch’s face, cool. Find one who won’t. Or don’t. Whichever way, you’ll be fine.”
“Yeah,” Alicia said, after a moment had passed to absorb Loren’s words. “What she said.”
I pushed out another sigh. “I get it. I just… Was really into him. But I guess it would’ve been silly to think my first… thing might be the only one.”
“It’s not silly at all,” Alicia said, her tone soothing. “It’s sweet. And it’s only been a little time since all this happened - don’t jump all the way out the window. Tristan could surprise you.”
“Thinking that is how I got into this trouble in the first place,” I argued. “Thinking he could surprise me, instead of relying on how predictably disappointing most men are.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Loren agreed, making Alicia laugh.
“Don’t you have a whole fiancé?”
“Yeah, but I’m talking about these other niggas, not him.”
The two of them went back and forth a bit, laughing, and trying to offer me more advice, but really...I was over it.
By the time I got them off the phone,
