I wasn’t exact, quite, all the way ready for that.
“I hope you talked to her. Cause I’ma hurt her feelings if I do it.”
“Maybe more than her feelings – you know the only reason she didn’t press charges is because none of us saw anything, right?”
I laughed. “At least four of you saw everything.”
“Nah, nobody saw it,” he said, shrugging, and this time… I caught what he was saying. “But anyway…yeah, I talked to her. And she wasn’t happy about it, but whatever. Exchanging ink work for loc retwists wasn’t really a fair trade anyway.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I agreed, with a deep sigh that shifted the air between us again.
Now I was ready to move on.
“I need to get in the shower, and get to bed. You joining me?”
I bit down on my lip, considering his offer.
It had been like two weeks since he’d finally given up the draws, and the memory of it was imprinted in my mind.
Vividly.
And he certainly was making it sound very appealing, with his hands at my waist drawing me toward him, but…
“I think I need a few minutes. So I’m gonna pass,” I told him.
He nodded. “Okay. We’re good?”
“We’re good.”
We were.
Really.
He showed me to his room and then disappeared into the attached bathroom – a few seconds later, I heard the shower come on.
It wasn’t until then that I could really… breathe.
Hours ago, I’d been snatched from sleep by the awareness that something was wrong, and I’d been on a rollercoaster since then. The heightened adrenaline, the anger, and now the confusing ass feelings Tristan brought up…
I needed some quiet.
So I took it.
Not thinking about the overwhelming flow of emotion it would bring about.
One moment I was seated on the edge of Tristan’s bed, almost too distracted for further musings about it being my first time seeing it. The next, my chest was heaving, cheeks burning as I dropped my face into my hands, breaking into unexpected sobs.
Tears I’d been fighting for a long ass time.
Reinvention was hard.
It was hard, and confusing, and frustrating, and… painful.
Yes, it was also gratifying, and enlightening, and wonderful, but when it was mixed up with everything else, it all felt like too much.
This was too much.
I couldn’t keep fighting it.
So I cried, until my throat was aching and my eyes stung and my head was throbbing, but the tears kept coming and coming – I couldn’t stop.
Then Tristan’s arms were around me.
I wasn’t expecting it, and didn’t know I needed it until it was happening, but I was so fucking grateful. He was something tangible I could tether myself to, sinking against his shirtless, still-damp chest to calm myself.
He said… nothing.
Which was exactly what I needed.
Just the silence, the warmth of his body, the comfort of his arms, the soothing familiarity of his scent, his presence… just him.
It felt like a long time before I was able to calm myself enough to lift my head, dragging my puffy eyes open to look Tristan in the face.
“Tell me what’s going on?” he said, posing it as a question even though it was clearly an imperative.
I shook my head. “It’s just… a lot.”
“Because of me. And the break in?”
“Some of both. Plus some other stuff.”
“Stuff like…?” he cupped my face in his hands, wiping my cheeks dry with his thumbs before coaxing my gaze to his. “I know you’re my mystery woman, but you don’t have to keep everything so close to the vest.”
I let out a sigh. “I actually kinda do,” I said.
“Because of your past life… whatever it is you’re rebuilding from.”
“Pretty much.”
“So… Kiara was right then?” he asked, in a teasing tone. “You really are an assassin… the girl they send for the princess’ throat, huh? Or will you have to kill me if you tell me?”
I sniffed, shaking my head again. “No, I wouldn’t have to kill you. I just… I don’t want to be defined by what I’ve left behind. Even though it’s… a pretty defining thing.”
“I get that,” he nodded. “You’re not the sum of the things you’ve done, and all that.”
“Exactly. And I mean… I understand if that’s a dealbreaker for you – if it’s important to you to know everything about me – about my past. I can’t give you that. I can’t,” I repeated, trying my best to not give into a fresh wave of tears. “And if we’re going to do this – be together - I need to know that… it doesn’t really matter. This chapter of my life isn’t – can’t be - about what I used to do, who I used to be. The real story is who I am now. Who I’m going to become.”
“And that is completely fine with me,” Tristan assured, bringing his lips to mine in a soft press that made everything feel wondrously right with the world.
Obviously I knew it took more than a kiss, more than a conversation, more than this moment, but… for now, at least… I’d happily take it.
And I’d take all the other kisses he offered – I’d take them greedily, needing something else to focus on. I’d take off the towel wrapped around Tristan’s waist, making him laugh.
But then he pushed me down on the bed, and there was nothing funny anymore.
He stripped me out of my clothes and dropped his head between my legs, propping my thighs over his shoulders. I didn’t need to watch – I let my head fall back, letting my tired eyes rest as Tristan demanded the last of whatever energy my tired body had left, forcing it to expend itself in pursuit of sweet bliss.
I bucked against his mouth, my hips jerking, back arching away from the bed as he devoured me. My fingers dug into the soft fabric of his comforter, my only hold on anything that wasn’t pure pleasure as he kept on, and on, until I couldn’t help screaming his name, hoarse and all.
And then he was on top of me.
Then inside me.
Filling me up, and
