“And that’s when you saw me?” he said, his voice low and soft now.
Night had fallen as she’d been talking and the stars were starting to come out, adding their sparkle to the lights that reflected off the waterfall in front of them.
“Yes, you were talking with one of the transplant case managers. I shouldn’t have stayed there listening, but I couldn’t make myself face my family. Jack had already lost his son and now I had to tell him his grandson was gone too. I couldn’t do it, not yet, so I stayed where I was and then I heard her talking to you about Davey’s chance at a heart.”
“She said that it was just a possibility, nothing for sure, just that there was a possible donor that they believed was the right blood type. I remember. It was the first good news I’d had in a long time,” David said.
“It was the first piece of good news I had heard in days too. I remember feeling happy for just a few seconds as I thought of your child being saved. At least there was one family that wouldn’t have to suffer the pain of losing a child. It wasn’t until later that I started to think that maybe the two of us had become connected that night. That maybe I was in the right place at the right time as I considered what to do about my dying son while I thought of other children, like your son, that Cody could help save.” She felt David tense against her. “Hearing about how much your son needed a donation helped me make my decision to donate my son’s organs.”
“What are you saying, Sarah? Do you think there’s a possibility that Davey got Cody’s heart?” David asked.
Running his hands through his hair he moved away from Sarah. He needed to think about this more rationally. This whole conversation had taken a turn that he hadn’t seen coming. One minute he had been sharing what had to be the best kiss of his life, then suddenly Sarah was talking about how she had been in the waiting room the night he had learned that there was still hope for his son.
If he’d known the story, the timing of the death of Sarah’s family, maybe he would have put things together, but he hadn’t. Not that he blamed Sarah for not talking about the death of her husband and son. She was certainly due the right to keep that to herself and he could see the pain it caused her to talk about that time in her life. But why hadn’t she come to him with this information earlier?
“I don’t know for sure, but I think that it’s a possibility. We both know that by the time the neurologist told me about the brain death determination, Organ Procurement had already been involved in the background. The nurses that took care of Cody would have been required to call them when Cody had first come in unresponsive and ventilated,” Sarah said.
“What was Cody’s blood type?” David asked.
“O positive,” she said shakily, then looked up at him. “Davey?”
“O positive,” he said. Like he’d told Sarah earlier, he hadn’t given Davey’s donor family a lot of thought since those few months after the transplant. And he’d thought of them only abstractly. The idea of it being Sarah’s family seemed surreal. “It’s just a start, but there definitely is a chance, a good chance, that Cody could have been Davey’s donor. I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me? Why wouldn’t you have told me about this as soon as you remembered?” If it had involved his son, he had the right to know.
“At first I didn’t want to make things awkward between us at work and I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to know myself. Then, when I got to know you, I didn’t want you to think that I was spending time with you and Davey just because of the possibility of the donation,” Sarah said as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“Is it difficult? Seeing Davey? Knowing that Davey could have Cody’s heart?” he asked. It had to be, didn’t it? It was hard just asking the question.
“At first it was, at least until I got to know him better and I’d be lying if I said that the possibility that my son’s donation could have made a difference in Davey’s life didn’t make me happy. He’s a very special boy, just like my Cody. When I first saw Davey with Humphrey, I admit that it hurt a bit. Cody had only been two and a half when Jack and Kolton came home with that pony. Cody had loved him immediately and when I saw how taken with Humphrey Davey was, it shocked me that I felt a moment of resentment. But then I saw that smile on Davey’s face and I knew that he loved that pony as much as Cody had.”
“I’m glad you told me. Whether Davey was the recipient of Cody’s heart or not, I’m glad you shared this with me, but you should have told me sooner.”
It hadn’t been an easy tale for her to tell, but he still felt as if he had been betrayed.
The park was deserted now and the walk back to David’s car was quiet, the silence stretching between them. The laughter they had shared earlier that day had been replaced with too many emotions. He was torn between wanting to hold
