“Hey, Sarah,” the little girl said with a small smile.
“Lindsey, I’m so happy to see you,” she said as she went to sit down beside her on a chair that she’d last seen Hannah asleep in. “Where’s your mother?”
“She had to go to work. I thought she might have been fired again—that’s what usually happens when I get sick and she has to spend a lot of time here, but she says her new boss understands.”
Sarah didn’t know what to say. Had any of them really ever bothered to think about how hard it would be for Lindsey’s mother to keep a job while having to go back and forth to the hospital on a regular basis?
She left Lindsey to get some rest and headed back to check on Davey only to find that he had already been moved to the pediatric acute care floor. Deciding that she would look in on him before she headed home, she looked up his room number.
“Hey,” she said as she stuck her head in the door to Davey’s room to find David standing beside his son’s bed watching his son sleep.
“I used to do this all the time. Just sit there and watch him sleep wondering how long I would have him with me. He’s been so healthy since the transplant that I’ve just taken it for granted that he would be okay.
“I dropped my guard, Sarah. I got caught up in my own life and forgot that keeping Davey safe has to be the most important thing in my life right now. It was my responsibility to keep Davey safe. Just mine. And instead of looking after him like I should have, I left him when I knew something was wrong.”
Did he really believe that he was in this alone? Didn’t he realize how much she cared about his son?
“I understand that you’re upset. It’s been a rough night, but you don’t have to go through this by yourself. I love Davey. Jack loves Davey. We all want to be there to help you.”
“Don’t you see, Sarah. It’s been me and Davey for years now and we’ve made it work. I’m sorry, it’s just better that for right now I spend my time concentrating on Davey.”
Sarah stood, staring at him. David hadn’t explicitly said that whatever it was that they’d shared was over, but Sarah understood nonetheless.
She took a deep breath and chose her words carefully. “If you truly believe that, David, then I’m the one who’s sorry. You can do everything in your power to keep the people you love safe and there are no guarantees in this life. Things happen. It’s not anyone’s fault, that’s just the way life works.” Then she held her head high as she turned and walked away, desperate to get out of the room.
She wouldn’t let him see her cry. David had stood there and ripped out her heart and he hadn’t even realized it.
For the first time since she’d lost Kolton and Cody she had let herself feel hope for a future and all it had gotten her was more pain. Just the possibility of a new family with David and Davey had made her feel alive and now she felt torn in two.
“What’s wrong?” Jack asked as she came to sit by him at the table the next morning where he was reading the newspaper. “Is it Davey?”
“Davey’s fine,” she said, not wanting him to worry. “I’m just tired.”
“And since when did your being tired cause you to cry?” Jack asked. “Sometimes just sharing what’s troubling you can be a help.”
After the death of Kolton and Cody Sarah had spent hours talking to Jack. He’d been the only one to understand what she was going through because her loss had been his loss too.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee from the pot on the table, Sarah told Jack everything. He listened as she explained how she had first seen David that night at the hospital when they had lost Cody and the suspicions she had concerning the donation. She told him about the notes they had both sent to the organ procurement organization and how they were waiting for responses. She admitted to Jack that what she was feeling for David had become deeper than friendship, then ended with how David had pulled away from her because he didn’t feel he could have a life himself and be there for Davey.
“Look, David’s upset right now. He might not be thinking straight because he’s concerned about his son, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He cares for you, Sarah. It doesn’t sound like he had much of a relationship with his first wife, not like you had with Kolton, so he doesn’t understand the feelings he has for you. Tell me something,” he said as he pushed back from the table. “What would you have done if Kolton had tried to push you away?”
“I’d have pushed back at him,” Sarah said as she realized where her father-in-law was going with the conversation.
“It seems David’s first wife ran at the first sign of trouble. Maybe that’s what he’s afraid of. Maybe he just needs someone to push back at him instead of running away,” Jack said before getting up from the table. “What do you tell your students when they fall off a horse?”
“I tell them to get back up there. You can’t let one fall stop you,” she said as she smiled for the first time that day.
“Then it’s time for you to get back on that horse,” Jack said with a smile before he headed out the back door leaving her to consider his advice.
CHAPTER TEN
THE PHONE BESIDE Sarah’s bed was ringing. She
