“As you’ll ever be. Kick ass, Holmes.”
The theme of the ball was “A Night in Fairyland” and the decorating committee had outdone themselves. The ballroom at the historic Hotel Vancouver, painted in tones of cream and gold with crown moldings, gold-framed mirrors, and Edwardian frescoes, glowed with an otherworldly beauty under the hundreds of tiny white twinkling lights strung up.
I checked my wrap and stepped into the animated swirl of partygoers. Men strutted about in tuxes, while one fabulous guy outshone everyone in a black bejeweled ballgown that made even mine seem a little plain.
Not to be outdone by their elegant counterparts, the women dazzled in outlandish gowns and gems that they wore with the giddy air of young girls attending their first formal party. My dress fit in just fine, and the tiara was the perfect crowning touch.
I made a slow circuit of the room, looking for Jonah Samuels, but I found Mayan first, conversing with a group of people. She was stunning in a sleek black dress with a 1920s vibe to it and a slight train in the back. Her hair was pinned in some complicated braid and held in place with a large black rose ornament.
One of the people in her crowd shifted, revealing Levi.
His stark beauty took my breath away. He was one of the taller men in the room, and under the lights, his black hair shone like a raven’s wing. His tux was impeccably fitted to him, the white dress shirt pressed crisp, but his bowtie was the tiniest fraction askew. My fingers twitched with the urge to fix it, to tease him about it and get some snarky retort from those lush lips that would inevitably make me laugh.
Our gazes snagged. I glanced between him and Mayan, and widened my eyes in an exaggerated expression of surprise. He stood there, deadpan until I was done, at which point, after a brief—and pointed—perusal of my outfit, his lips curled up in the briefest smirk.
I clutched my beaded handbag, calculating the best trajectory should I need to wing it at him. No, that was a princess reaction. I straightened up to my full height, my confidence more dazzling than any of the crystals.
Levi’s eyes narrowed. Mayan had to touch his arm twice to get his attention and he looked away before I did. Heh.
“There you are.” Rafael was at my elbow. “Sorry for being late.”
“No worries. I’m glad there were no problems with the ticket I’d left for you,” I said.
His tux was equally as bespoke as Levi’s and while it didn’t send my heart into the same annoying palpitations, he was worthy arm candy.
“Help me do a sweep for Samuels and keep an eye on Mayan.” I subtly indicated who she was. Since Rafael and I worked together, he fell under client confidentiality. I straightened his bowtie and he flinched.
I dropped my hand. “On second thought, let’s split up.” I melted into the crowd, my jaw set, and bumped into someone’s back. “Sorry,” I muttered as the person turned around.
“Ladylike as usual,” Levi sneered, holding two wineglasses. He flicked his eyes to the left, where a couple of Untainted Party cronies of my mother’s and a group I recognized as House employees avidly watched our interaction.
Awesome.
“Careful with the angle of your chin there, Montefiore. You might topple over backwards from all the weight in your fat head.” I helped myself to one of the glasses of white wine and tossed half the shitty drink back. For make-believe antagonism, our encounter pinched my heart—as if our deepening relationship had all been a dream and I’d just woken up to the cold reality again.
“You have the manners of a goat,” Levi said.
“Better a goat than a pompous ass throwing his weight around.” I stilled.
It wasn’t just Jezebels who suffered under the weight of overwhelming expectations. We had a choice in accepting the Mantle, but Attendants were born to it. Serve and protect made for a narrow, lonely life, especially when that was the sum total of it. Was there any room for failure in Rafael’s mind, and was that how he saw his reaction to helping me with the cravings? Not as a healing win, but as a disaster on an inherently personal level? I’d been prepared for his resentment once the effects had worn off, but I hadn’t taken into consideration his shame.
The quartet in the corner launched into a soft song. Light and lively. An answering fizziness began in my stomach, bubbling outward into my throat and down to my toes, but mine was sour.
“Ash?” Levi murmured. “Are you okay?”
I shoved the glass back in his hand. “Go bore your date. I’ve got more important things to attend to.”
Chapter 18
I found Rafael in the far corner of the ballroom leaning against the ornate wainscoting by the window, watching Mayan. “Listen.” I looped my arm through his, falling into a slow circuit of the room. “This fight needs you. I need you. If you’re beating yourself up over what happened, stop now. You did it because you had my back, just like I have yours. We’ll find a way through this together, okay?”
He tensed, struggling with some decision, and I braced myself for him to walk away.
“What happened between us was… disquieting.” His silence after that had less to do with the large, boisterous group we had to veer around than the thoughtful expression on his face. “While Attendants historically have remained in the background, we pride ourselves on being the bedrock that allows you to operate and succeed. But during that episode, I wasn’t a rock, I was out of control. I had become the weak link in this fight.” He gazed off into the distance.
“I’m far from perfect, but that doesn’t mean you have to pick up the slack on that front. You’re not infallible, nor do you have to be.”
“If I fail, people die.” Rafael’s grip tightened on the wineglass he held. “There
