This kind of joy, pure and unfettered, had always seemed so unreachable, like it only happened to those with incredibly good luck who sought it out and worked hard for it. And granted, I wasn’t the kind of person who let many others past my guard. But this was worth it, worth all the scariness and fear of judgment, this beautiful surprise that didn’t require me to do anything other than to enjoy it. I closed my eyes, knowing that no dream would be as good as this new reality.
Chapter 21
I woke up before Levi did, the two of us entwined like puzzle pieces. He’d thrown a leg over me, one palm resting on my thigh over my scar. I’d always been a light sleeper with other people, waking up at the slightest movement, forgoing cuddling. Immediately, my thigh tensed under his touch and I placed my hand over his to move it. Nowhere to run to. Nowhere to hide.
Except I was okay with that. I didn’t want to run or hide. I just wanted to be seen for who I was.
I left his hand on my leg and relaxed back against him.
Tucked under his glasses on the bedside table was a copy of The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, a collection of short stories, including The Final Problem where Holmes went over the Reichenbach Falls. I ran a finger along the spine, imagining lying next to him, reading to unwind after a hard day.
I basked in the realness of this moment. This wasn’t going to vanish. It just felt stable. Constant. A goodness without doubt to it.
Levi scrunched up his face as his eyes fluttered open and gave me a sleepy smile. “You’re still here.”
“Yeah. I need to borrow some clothes.”
“Ah.”
I cuddled closer to him. “Plus, I wanted to be.”
He kissed me. “Better.”
His phone buzzed with a text as mine rang from somewhere out in the living room. Naked, I ran for it, catching the caller just before it went to voicemail.
“Good morning, Attendant,” I said sunnily. “Did you get any rest?”
“Where are you?” Rafael said.
“At Levi’s. Why?”
He made a despairing noise. “I should have known. When I agreed to this team of yours, I assumed it was implicitly understood that all personal dealings came a very distant second to your Jezebel responsibilities.”
“How exactly have I been remiss?” I went into the kitchen.
“I’ve been sitting here at your office for an hour. Luckily Bryan was here or I’d have been waiting in the street.”
“We never set a time to meet. Normal people would do that first before showing up.” I rooted around in the cupboards until I found an espresso cup and stuck it under the spout of the De’Longhi espresso maker on the counter. I hit the button for the beans to grind.
“It’s 11AM,” Rafael said. “Normal people have been at work for hours, not playing hooky.”
“It’s Sunday,” I said.
The espresso maker clicked twice and a thin stream of aromatic coffee ran into the cup.
“Evil doesn’t sleep,” he said. “This was never an issue with Gavriella. If you aren’t going to take this seriously because of your personal life, then perhaps we need to revisit the entire team idea, given that you’re allowing your relationships with these people to impinge on our work.”
I smacked my hand on the counter. “My family was destroyed because of Chariot and these scrolls and being a Jezebel. So yes, Rafael, I take this all very seriously. However, I was a mite tired from saving a man’s life, killing a Repha’im, and generally not getting beheaded in Hedon, and I took a fucking nap.”
Levi, now dressed in jeans, handed me a pair of sweats. Cashmere ones, because of course cotton was too peasant to clothe him during leisure time.
“I’ll be there in half an hour.” I hung up first and threw my phone on the counter. “That little—” I yanked on the pants.
“Wanker?” Levi said, dryly. “He’s not worth popping a blood vessel.”
I exhaled, tugging the sweatshirt over my head and replaying my conversation with Rafael. Actually hearing it instead of just reacting to it. Rafael had asserted an ownership over my Jezebel position and our mission from day one. Unsurprising, given he was next in a long line of men who’d been mentors, healers, and allies to the women their life’s work revolved around. If Rafael was no longer the person his Jezebel needed most, no longer critical to a cause that he’d devoted his life to, but just some bookish dude who dug up information in his secret library while others were out in the field, then why did he matter?
“He’s jealous,” I said.
Levi paused, coffee pot in hand. “Of us?”
“Yeah, but not like that.” I had to roll all the cuffs up to fit my limbs. “I didn’t know I was a Jezebel, but Rafael was born and raised to take on his position. It defined him. Now I’ve reduced him from half of a duo to simply part of a team that I put in place. He feels threatened.” The side effects of helping me overcome the cravings and Rafael’s subsequent view of himself must have made everything worse. “I need to talk to him.”
“Here. It’s medicinal.” Levi handed me a biscotti.
Shooting back the espresso, black and bitter, I bit into the cookie. A dense, rich chocolate zinged my taste buds. “Where have you been hiding these?”
“These are not biscotti for all and sundry,” he said.
“I support you in that. Give them all to me. And to Priya, because if she finds out you’re holding out on her, she’ll tie you up in Password Hell. Also, you understand that your sweats cost more than my best work outfit, right? Do you put them on after your milk bath, Your Lordship?”
“We’re in a relationship. You can’t bust my balls anymore.”
I laughed and
