“I know. He won’t hurt either of us anymore.”
All the damage had already been done.
Levi spent the drive to his house in his Tesla white-knuckled and tight-lipped. I tried talking to him, but he didn’t respond to any of my pathetic icebreakers.
Levi unlocked his front door, motioning for Rafael to go on in. He stopped me before I could enter. “Did he kill Adam?”
“He ordered the hit.”
Levi spun away from me and marched down a set of stairs off his kitchen into his basement. There were no biscotti, just a cold empty room that I wondered if I’d ever see again.
I stopped Rafael. “I’m going to stay up here.”
“Good idea,” he said, and headed downstairs.
I strained my ears for any sign that they’d found the scroll. Then out of nowhere, sandstorm and hot wind snaked up into the kitchen.
Rafael snapped at Levi to “seal it up,” while I clutched the doorknob upstairs to keep myself from moving.
“Ashira?” Rafael called up. “The scroll is sealed once more. Are you all right?”
“Give me a minute. Let the magic fade.” The doorknob splintered under my tense grip, but I didn’t move and slowly, the tantalizing magic dissipated.
“I’m good.” I was, too—until they came up the stairs and stepped into the kitchen.
The scroll’s magic engulfed me, the guys’ voices becoming Charlie Brown wah-wah-wahs. That ancient magic wound me in its loving grip, spiralling me higher and higher.
“Ash?” Levi frowned.
Rafael waved a short plastic tube at him. “It’s leaking. Get another container.”
“Don’t worry,” I said to the Technicolor pixels of the two people standing there. “Everything is perfect.”
I rode the magic out to the edge of the cosmos and when it demanded I fall into the darkness, I was helpless to resist.
I didn’t want to resist.
The taste of water slid down my throat. When I snapped into full consciousness, I had Rafael pushed up against the wall and was pulling smudgy magic out of a gash on his chest that I gulped down. In my eagerness, I’d pressed bruises into his skin, but that refreshing magic flowed into me, restoring me. The symptoms fell away, the floor firm under my feet. My urges died down, the song in my head quiet once more.
“Rafael?” I said.
His head was thrown back, his pupils were blown out, and his breathing was ragged. He shot me a besotted smile.
Levi stared at us with cold, flat eyes. “You left a few details out about what your Attendant does, Ash.”
I scrambled back from Rafael, who reached for me. His magic was still on my lips and in the back of my throat and I clutched him back, only releasing him when Levi flinched. “These aren’t my finest moments,” I said lamely. “Rafael.” I slapped him lightly across the face. “You need to take the scroll to the library. Can you do that?”
He slowly blinked into awareness, closing his eyes with a grimace. “I’m so sorry, Levi.”
“Don’t sweat it.”
“I’ll just… Yes.” He snatched a large Tupperware off the counter and disappeared.
Then there were two.
“I can’t do this,” Levi said.
“Because of the magic thing? It’s a healing remedy. That’s it.”
“Is that what you’re calling it?”
No. I wanted to scrub the taste of Rafael’s magic from my mouth, because it turned my words to lies. With everything laid bare between us, we needed truth.
“I was scared to tell you, okay?” I said. “I feel like I’m betraying you and I don’t ever want to be that person. We tried to not do this after the first time, but it’s the only thing that brings me back from the brink.”
“I saw your faces.” Anguish flashed across his features and I wondered how we’d looked, Rafael and me, curled up together. My stomach turned as Levi’s mouth twisted. “Or was I just imagining things?”
“I’m not going to lie. It’s an incredible connection when it happens. It quiets my urges and the magic bump is amazing. But it’s completely hollow next to what you and I have. I’ve trusted you with all of me. Not even Priya has gotten that. I’m all in. Do you understand?”
“I do. And if that was all it was…” He reached out to touch my shoulder, but stopped himself before making contact, and took a step back. “You said you’d kill 26L1. Hell, I swore I’d support you in that, Ash. But my own dad?” His voice broke on the last word. “And how do I look you in the eye every day given my father murdered yours?”
I stared at the distance between us, an odd buzzing noise in my ears. “That’s them. Not you and me.” My words were even. Measured. They were calm and a far cry from the scream lodged at the back of my throat, eager to come out. “You’ve already suffered so much at his hands. Are you going to let him ruin this for you? Ruin us?”
Levi bowed his head, gripping the doorframe. “It is us. Our pasts don’t exist in a vacuum. How are we supposed to be together in the face of all of that?”
The truth shall set you free. I’d steered my life by this sage wisdom, only to find it was a crock of shit. The truth had cost me Levi.
“You’re a coward.” I blinked back tears. “Go hide behind your illusions. I was ready to face this awful truth. With you. Let me know when you’re ready to do the same and fight.”
“Please go.” His words were barely audible.
On the way into Hedon, I’d told Levi that he had to be prepared to destroy whatever secret desire he harbored. Guess he’d taken that to heart. I couldn’t even blame him. I mean, I could and I did, but I understood. That’s why I walked away without a second look back, my heart in pieces at Levi’s feet.
Rafael was wrong about revenge. It wasn’t a luxury. It was my life’s mission. And Isaac Montefiore and Chariot were going to burn.
Thank
