She lifted her head. ‘You have a nice take on things.’ A smile touched the corners of her mouth. ‘I haven’t helped much with your interior décor situation, though, have I?’
He glanced at the silk dress on the floor. ‘That’s a work in progress, and I can say hand on heart that there’s absolutely no rush.’
‘It wouldn’t wash if you did... I mean, three years!’ She shifted a little and ran a slow finger over the back of his hand. ‘Seriously, though, until I saw I your man cave I was feeling sorry for you...living here, in all this emptiness.’
‘Man cave?’
She nodded. ‘It’s a thing!’ She flattened her hand over his and fixed him with serious eyes. ‘Where did you live before...when you were married?’
His felt his shoulders stiffening. She’d told him about her parents; she’d told him about Hal. He’d known she’d come back to him with questions about himself. It was the contract of conversation, only natural, but it was the kind of conversation that made his temples throb. Sweet, brave Mia. She wanted to open him up, she wanted to know him, but all he could think about was how he was going to dodge the bullet that he knew was coming.
‘We had an apartment near the river.’
‘Furnished?’
In spite of himself, he chuckled. ‘Yes.’
‘What was it like?’
Eline had done it all. Modern, clean, elegant. She’d had a thing about elephants—sculptures, paintings, small ornaments. They had to face the right way—towards the door, towards the window. Ironically, he couldn’t remember. He’d had his hands full with caring for Bram.
‘It was...streamlined.’ He thought of the old Dutch range in the kitchen downstairs. ‘Very different to this, although Direk’s trying to persuade me to go for a modern streamlined look in the kitchen. He’s rather fond of black granite.’
‘Black? You mustn’t do that. You’ve got that lovely old stove. I’d start with that. You could have it reconditioned; re-enamelled. It’s such a lovely blue. Very Delft.’
‘And it works well, as long as you’re not in a hurry.’
She smiled. ‘I know what you mean—my grandmother had one.’ Suddenly she was sitting up, wrapping the sheet around herself. ‘What did your wife do that hurt you so badly?’
For some reason his heart didn’t shrink at the mention of Eline. Maybe because his focus was elsewhere. Mia looked so lovely in the fading afternoon light, loosely wrapped in white, hair tumbling around her shoulders. He felt the fresh stirrings of desire but pulling her down, losing himself in her again, was too obvious a diversion tactic. And, after everything she’d told him about Hal—the secrets and the lies—he wanted to trust her with something real.
‘She had an affair.’
‘Why?’
Wide eyes held his. He drew in a slow breath. Neglect. That was what Eline had accused him of. But if he told Mia that, then he’d have to tell her about Bram: the drinking, the drugs, the despair. He’d have to explain why he’d bought the isolated beach house, why he’d spent weeks at a time there with Bram, drying him out, trying to keep him away from his addictions.
Wide eyes held him gently. She’d understand, and he wanted to trust her, but something was holding him back. Perhaps the roots of his pain ran too deep after all.
Eline had been sweet and understanding at first, but she’d grown impatient with him, and with Bram, and then her impatience had turned into bitterness, and the bitterness had turned into cruelty. She’d taunted him, fanned the flames of his shame.
‘For pity’s sake, lighten up, Theo. Have a drink!’
He shuddered inwardly.
‘I suppose I wasn’t what she wanted in the end... It happens.’
Mia frowned.
He sat up, adjusting the pillow behind him. ‘Look... She was my first serious relationship. We got married straight out of university. I’d had a bad start in life, and I suppose I was trying to make up for that, trying to create something of my own...’ He shrugged. ‘I was working twenty-four-seven, building the business, and then she got spotted.’
‘Spotted?’
Damn! Why was conversation such a minefield? Why was he surrounded by famous people when all he wanted was to keep himself and his history private?
‘Yes. Eline worked in fashion. A scout liked the look of her...so she started catwalk modelling.’ He pressed a finger to his bounding temple. ‘You’ve no doubt heard of Eline de Vries...’
‘Your ex is Eline de Vries?’
He nodded.
‘Seriously?’ Her eyes were wide as saucers.
‘Yes, seriously!’ It didn’t mean anything. Eline was just a person like everyone else. No more special than himself, Mia or his brother. They were all just people, messing things up. ‘After she signed with the agency, she started running with the beautiful people, and then she had an affair. I was the accessory that didn’t match her outfit any more.’ He smiled, joking at his own expense. ‘But I’m not bitter.’
‘I can see that.’ She wasn’t smiling.
He touched her elbow, ran his fingers up her arm to her shoulder. ‘Look, it’s ancient history—not worth talking about.’ There was something in her eyes that looked like distance growing and it threw him. Could she see that he’d given her half a story? He felt panic rising, tightening his chest. He couldn’t bear to see her retreating, not after the sublime intimacy they’d shared.
He leaned in, pressed his forehead to hers. ‘I don’t want to talk about her, Mia. I want to give you my undivided attention.’ In a heartbeat her expression softened and he seized the moment, kissed her slowly, savouring the warmth of her mouth, the softness of her lips. When he felt her rising towards him, kissing him back, sliding her hands around his neck, the tension in his shoulders melted away. When he was kissing Mia, he could forget everything else. Everything he wanted was right there in that room
