‘I’m guessing you don’t see him...’
‘No.’ He turned, held her gaze. ‘He’s dead.’
What to say...? ‘I’m sorry.’
‘I’m not.’
She could see in his eyes that he meant it, that the conversation had run its course. She walked back to the pavement, waiting for him to come. The sun was higher now, hazy and golden. She tuned in to the clang of a distant tram, thought about the times Hal had told her things that she’d accepted without question. She’d believed him so easily; chosen to believe him because she hadn’t wanted to put a dent in what they had; hadn’t wanted to risk losing everything because she’d lost one family already. But now she knew that being scared of losing someone wasn’t a good enough reason not to ask the difficult questions. Loving someone meant loving the whole person. The bad, the good. The weaknesses as well as the strengths.
He was coming towards her, his hair close to copper in the slanting sunlight. If he was ashamed of his father, feared his father’s legacy, it was understandable. But his father was dead, and it seemed that his death hadn’t brought Theo any closure. Something else was keeping the wound open, and she had to find out what that was. It would mean more difficult questions, but she’d bide her time. Bombarding him wasn’t the way.
‘Hey.’ He tugged her close, concern etched on his face. ‘Are you okay?’
She nodded. ‘Of course. I was just giving you your space.’
‘Thank you, but I prefer my space when you’re in it...’ He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled her even closer, his eyes darkening, a smile touching the corners of his mouth. ‘In fact, the smaller the space we’re in, the better.’
She chuckled; she couldn’t resist faking asphyxiation. ‘Okay. But breathing...is...important.’ He released her, laughing, catching her face in his hands. ‘It sounds like you might need some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation...’ And then his lips were on hers, warm, insistent, hungry. His need was a hot wire, drawing a rush of heat through her that made her forget where she was. She slid her hands into his back pockets, pulled him closer. He groaned, deepened his kiss, moved his hand from her face to her waist, then lower, fingers moving under the hem of her blouse, warm and perfect.
A bell jangled. ‘Get a room!’
Startled, they broke apart, staring after the kid who was speeding off into the distance. Theo grinned, reached for her hand and pulled her on. ‘I think he’s right. When we get to yours, I want you to show me your private cabin...’
Her stomach dipped. ‘You’re insatiable!’
‘And whose fault is that?’
That gaze, turning her insides to liquid. She felt a blush coming. ‘I feel embarrassed, being reprimanded by a teenager.’
‘I don’t.’ He grinned. ‘I feel young.’
‘You are young!’ A chuckle rose in her throat. ‘Youngish, anyway.’
His eyes flashed with mischief. ‘Youngish!’ And then he was on her again, fingers probing her ribs, finding her ticklish spots.
‘No! Please... Theo, no, no, no!’ She tried to jerk away, but his hold on her was tight. He was laughing, enjoying himself, tickling her mercilessly. ‘Please stop... I take it back. You’re very young.’
He released her, breathing hard. ‘Not very young. I’m thirty-three, but youthful, I hope!’ He ran a hand through his hair, arching his eyebrows. ‘Dare I ask...?’
‘Twenty-seven.’
‘That’s very young.’ He draped an arm around her shoulders, moving her on.
She watched his feet on the path, the way he was adjusting his stride to hers. ‘It’s funny; I’ve never really felt young. I’ve always felt like a grown-up.’
‘Me too.’ He touched his head to hers, kissing her hair. She read the gesture, heard what he wasn’t saying out loud: that their experiences had robbed them of their childhoods, had given them old heads on young shoulders. She slid her arm around his waist and gave him a hug. Instantly, she felt an answering squeeze and then he shrugged. ‘Maybe it’s why I got into astronomy. When I was a kid, the night sky felt like a place I could let my imagination run free... Now, I love the science of it all: the expanding universe, the Big Bang... It’s fascinating.’
‘Do you ever dream about finding a place beyond the stars?’
‘What?’
She smiled. ‘You know, like Neverland...? Peter Pan...?’
‘Ah...of course.’ He chuckled. ‘Maddie used to be frightened of Captain Hook...and the crocodile. I was always more preoccupied with how the clock managed to keep ticking inside the crocodile’s stomach.’
‘That’s because you’ve got a scientific mind!’
‘True.’
She thought about the illustrated copy of Peter Pan that had belonged to her mother. It lived at her grandmother’s house, and after her mum died she’d take it into her room or into the garden and spend hours looking at it, trying to guess which pictures her mum had liked best. Tinkerbell! Wings to fly, silver fairy-dust trailing...
‘I was besotted with Tinkerbell, and I loved Nana the dog...’ There was that part of the story where Mrs Darling was telling the children that night lights were like a mother’s eyes, guarding them. Had Theo’s mother guarded him, and Madelon and Bram, or hadn’t she been able to? She came back to the moment, found Theo gazing at her. ‘But I was always rather concerned about the Lost Boys...’
He smiled softly. ‘That’s because you’re like Wendy.’
‘I can’t believe it took three quarters of an hour to walk less than a mile!’ She was in the galley kitchen buttering thick slices of bread, sprinkling them with hagelslag.
He stepped behind her, sliding his arms around her waist. ‘It’s because we were walking romantically.’
She paused, laughed,
