Gone after him like the rent was due tonight.
Appalled at my behavior, I gave into the shakes and eventually forced myself to go to the sink, wash up and put my underwear back on...which was humiliating in the extreme.
I flashed back to him zipping up and grinning at me, “Well, that was fun.” he’d said, and that Southern twang echoed horribly in my mind.
I frowned hard at the woman staring back at me from the mirror. Her hair was a wreck, the pretty sky blue dress was wrinkled, her face was very pale, and eyes were huge. “What have you done?” I asked my reflection.
I shut my eyes for a moment and gripped the counter. “Oh shit,” I whispered, and identified the emotion I was feeling as shame. I stayed where I was, playing everything back in my mind, and came to the realization that the whole thing had made me feel—cheap.
I opened my eyes and faced the truth, which was that I couldn’t hide forever. So, I dried my hands, smoothed my hair and psyched myself up to exit the bathroom. I opened the door, walked back into the main office and was shocked to discover that Henry was no where to be seen.
“Well,” I said to the empty office. “At least he didn’t leave money on the desk for services rendered.” Hearing my own words out loud made me cringe a bit, and weirdly I felt like crying.
Face it girl, my inner monologue chastised. You acted cheap and easy and that’s exactly the way you got treated. I gulped against the nausea that churned through me. All I wanted now was to get out of there. I was absolutely mortified.
I yanked my purse out of the desk and ran.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I drove to my favorite beach. I slipped my sunglasses on, kicked off my shoes and walked in the surf for a while thinking things over. The wind coming off the water helped, and I found a little peace in the embrace of my element. Carefully, I made my way over the cobbles and found a boulder to sit on. Now that the storm was over, the heat had lessened, and the wind coming off the ocean was crisp and bracing.
I tossed my head, faced the wind, and allowed the conflicting emotions I was experiencing to work their way out of my system.
First I had to work my way past the humiliation that I’d actually had sex in the office, with a man I was admittedly attracted to—but who I didn’t even particularly like.
I wasn’t the casual sex type. Never had been. Yet look what had happened.
Second, and this nasty thought had kicked in on the drive to the secluded beach—he’d used a condom. While I was relieved that he’d been smart enough to do so...it also meant that he’d either had one in his pocket, or gods help me maybe in his desk drawer just in case he got lucky. Which made me feel doubly played.
Because he’d been prepared. As in planning ahead.
And finally...I kind of felt like I’d cheated on that lover from my visions. It was slightly ridiculous feeling that way, but there you were. Unbidden, the final line from the charm of the poesy ring came to mind: “To a steadfast soul the legacy passes, heavy though it may be, to become bewitched and beloved, blessed by the moon, stars, and sea.”
I definitely had the bewitched part down, but I was no one’s beloved. Henry didn’t love me. We’d both...had an itch, I supposed. And we’d scratched it. It wasn’t too pretty when you put it that way—yet the truth often wasn’t.
In real life, I doubted anyone could compete with the sensual skills of the mystery man from the visions. That man had been an incredible lover, one who’d both thrilled and given me an amazing amount of pleasure. While today’s fiasco had been more of a ‘wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am’ type of scenario.
If I closed my eyes, I could remember perfectly the feel of that mystery lover’s mustache across the nape of my neck and the texture of his hands on my bare skin. I could still clearly see that gorgeous chest from the night before, and the pirate flag tattoo. I’d never even seen his face, but I knew the taste of his bare skin and somehow...I was connected to him.
Whoever he was.
The term ‘soul mate’ wasn’t one I was comfortable with. It had been used to death thanks to the New Agers, but I was beginning to wonder: was the man the poesy ring had shown me glimpses of, my soul mate?
“Well then, where are you?” I asked the wind.
There was no answer, so I wrapped my arms around my knees and gazed out to the sea.
***
I stayed for a few hours letting the elements of water and air comfort me. I drove back to town and picked up Eli from daycare. I purposefully ignored my cell phone, and it wasn’t until I was halfway home that I remembered the pool party we’d been invited to.
My sister and her husband threw an elaborate pool party at their home every year right before the first harvest, the festival of Lughnasadh. My entire family attended, as well as Kayleigh and Curtis’ friends and neighbors. It was the last thing I wanted to do, yet Eli had been so excited about the pool party. So I sucked it up, put on a happy face for my son, and decided to go anyway.
I showered when I got home, and chose my outfit carefully. Dark denim shorts, a black cami with a long, lacy, sleeveless top over that. I strapped on some metallic sandals, brushed my hair in a high ponytail, and redid my makeup. Because I was in a mood, I went for dramatic eye color and deep charcoal liner. I rummaged through my makeup, wondering which lipstick to use. I held up a dark red tube, one that
