He had not spoken to her about their future together since the day her father had warned him off in the carriage, and he needed to know where they stood, yet it seemed there was never a moment when they were truly alone.
One night he retired to his rooms shortly after their evening meal, but he could no longer focus on the work in front of him. Instead, he worried. He worried about his family and how they were doing at home. He worried over the duties he had left behind. And, more than anything, he worried about Rachel. When they had been in the Highlands, everything had seemed so right. And now they were like pieces of a puzzle that no longer fit together quite as they should.
The house was still and silent, the few servants having left for the day, as none of them lived in the house. Adam rose from his bed and quietly opened his door, listening for movement in the hall or rooms beyond. Hearing nothing, he slowly padded down the corridor in his stockinged feet, before coming to a halt outside Rachel’s door. He had not been in her bedroom before, of course, and if he were caught, there would certainly be repercussions. But what would those be? Forced marriage? That was what they wanted, anyway.
He tapped on the door so softly that he wasn’t sure that even Rachel would hear it. He stood, his senses on full alert, and nearly jumped when she opened the door.
“Adam?” she said quietly, surprise etched on her face as she pulled the door open wider. “What are you doing?”
“I need to speak with you,” he said, realizing the words sounded much more serious than he had intended as her face fell. “I just… I need to know how things are between us.”
She nodded her head and bade him to enter. He swallowed hard at the sight of her in her nightgown, long as it was. It completely covered her from neck to ankle, but somehow even the small, perfectly formed toes that peeked out the bottom seemed to call to him.
Her bedroom was an extension of the drawing room — bright, cheery, and clearly thoughtfully designed. Her love of florals was evident, and he made note to bring her a bouquet for one of the vases that lined the room. In such contrast to his own chamber here, her bed was covered in a red floral pattern, with matching drapes hanging above. She sat on the bed and he perched himself on the window seat.
“How are you?” he asked suddenly, looking up at her, and she blushed.
“I’m fine,” she answered. “And you?”
“Fine as well,” he said. “Sullivan is a joy to work with, though I am looking forward to completing the project and returning to the Highlands.”
She nodded, though she had a bit of a sad look on her face.
“Do you — do you still want to come with me?” he asked, suddenly afraid to look at her, fearing her response. When he finally did raise his eyes, he saw she was looking off in the distance over his shoulder, perhaps out the window — he wasn’t sure.
“I do want to,” she said softly. “I’m just not sure if I can any longer.”
He swallowed, trying not to show the emotion on his face. It was what he had been afraid of, why he had put off asking her. He had felt it in the pit of his stomach, and yet he hadn’t wanted to allow it out into the open.
He cleared his throat. “Can ye at least tell me why not?”
She sighed. “My father has an arrangement with Vincent’s family. They will buy the power plant for a good price, allowing him to run it. In return, I must agree to marry Vincent.”
“And you are going along with this?” he asked incredulously, shocked at her words. “I thought you were always against marrying Vincent, despite what your father wanted. How many times did you tell me so forcefully that you were not marrying him? And now ye would change your mind, for your father’s benefit?”
“I was against it and I was not going to marry him,” she said, looking down at her clenched hands. “I didn’t know of this arrangement. And it’s just that my father has done so much for me. He raised me. He provided a roof over my head. He—”
Adam stood abruptly, walking over to her. He attempted to tamp down his rising frustration. “And just because he did what any parent should, you feel ye are indebted to him? That you must spend the rest of your life doing what he wants of you?”
“No. Yes. That is, I — I don’t know.”
“Does he care nothing about how ye feel?” Adam asked, his voice now hardly more than a whisper. “Tell me, Rachel, I need to know. How do you feel?”
“I… I…” Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked up at him. “You know how I feel,” she whispered, and raised her face to him, offering her lips. His thoughts and all reason left him as he lowered his head, taking her hungrily with a passion that had been building within him for some time. She was all that he wanted, and yet it seemed she was slipping away from him. He deepened the kiss, as if trying to convince her with his actions to stay close to him. Could she not understand that she belonged with him and not with a man who would suck the life out of her in too short a time?
Her hands came up and fisted in the front of crisp linen shirt that still felt so foreign on his body, as was the entire world here around him. He ran his fingers through her
