“Oh my God.” I squeeze my eyes shut. The only thing that could make a conversation with Sterling more awkward is the addition of Poppy’s far-from-subtle double entendres.
“Adair,” Sterling says. My name is rough on his tongue, grating across it. I open my eyes expecting a glare and find a smile instead. “I was hoping to run into you. I wasn’t sure you would come.”
“I don’t think my attendance was ever in doubt.” I force myself to sound cold even as my body heats up in awareness.
“She just needed time,” Poppy jumps in like a lifeguard sensing danger. The question is: which of us is drowning? “We met at the funeral. Poppy? I’m Adair’s best friend. I’m like a sister but I call her out on her BS.”
“I remember,” he says. According to Poppy, Sterling took off right after me that day. She saw this as a sign that he’d only come to see me. I tend to think he couldn’t stand spending more time with my friends.
“Ignore her. The rest of us do.” I shove her playfully. She takes the cue to shut up a little too well.
“I can see I’m not wanted. Let’s find you a drink.” She takes off with Kai in tow, leaving me with Sterling, both of them making kissy faces behind his back as they go. Later, I am officially revoking her best friend card. I’ll give Kai one more chance.
We stand a moment in relative silence, chaos all around us. Finally I blurt out the most obvious thought in my head. “This is uncomfortable.”
“It’s an improvement. You’re usually telling me off,” he says.
“And you’re usually being a total dick,” I say.
His smirk only makes his lips look fuller and more inviting. How can he make me want to kiss him and smack him at the same time?
“Truce?” he asks.
Maybe it’s the overly-hot room steaming my brain into submission, but I agree.
“I’m not good with family shit,” he explains.
I can’t help but laugh—not at him, but the irony. “No one here is. In Valmont, you belong to your family, especially if…”
I trail off not wanting to admit the pathetic truth out loud. I know better than most that girls belong to their families in Valmont. We’re practically trading cards, used to close business deals and ensure smooth mergers. Nothing says let’s make this work like marrying your daughter off to your company’s rival. These convenient marriages never last long, but from there it’s usually a matter of finding your next husband and then your third. Freedom is terrifying when you’ve only ever known captivity.
“Where are her parents?” Sterling asks.
“Fiji or somewhere. They’re celebrating their anniversary,” I tell him.
“I thought she was still living at home.”
“So?”
“I guess if Francie could take off on vacation, she would,” he says. “She never left me to go on a trip.”
“Francie?” I repeat. “Is that what you call your mom?”
I instantly realize I’ve said the wrong thing. Sterling bristles, growing taller before my eyes. I sense the distance he’s putting between us even though he doesn’t take so much as a step away.
“Let’s not pretend you care,” he says coldly. “I’m a dog, remember?”
He throws my words back at me. They churn inside me until I want to throw up. I should apologize. He might have been rude at the funeral, but calling him a dog? It makes me feel gross and small. Even worse, it makes me feel like a MacLaine. Not like mama who married into the name. Like Malcolm and daddy.
I’m nothing like her. And now I never will be. She’ll never teach me to be kind. She’ll never coax the genetics she gave me to the front. I’ll wind up just another heartless MacLaine.
“Nothing to say?” he pushes. “What a surprise.”
He shakes his head, disgust contorting his sharp features, before he strides off, leaving me frozen to the spot.
“There you are! Oliver spotted a girl and I’m friendless” Ava’s drunkenly, cheerful voice is at complete odds with how I feel. The grin falls from her face when she gets closer. “What’s wrong?”
“Boys are dumb,” I croak. Ava and I have never been very close, but this seems to be a universal truth among girls.
She gets it. “Let’s get you something to drink.”
I don’t put up a fight, focusing instead on getting my crying under control.
“Can you get me a beer?” she asks the boy standing next to the keg. He’s got to be a couple years older than us, but she dazzles him.
“Sure.” It’s like she handed him a Christmas present. Bumping another guy from the tap, he reaches for a cup. “Hold on.”
He passes it to Ava and she gives it to me. “Fresh air?”
I nod, I need out of here. Why can’t I escape these parties and people? A couple more months, I promise myself.
“A couple more months until what?” Ava asks.
I didn’t realize I spoke out loud. Taking a huge drink, I consider my options. No one knows about my plan to leave Valmont University behind. Poppy will be heartbroken, so I can’t tell her. But I need to put it out there. I need someone to know so that I’ll be held accountable to my plan. If I stay here much longer, I’ll never leave. I’ll become like the rest of them.
“Can I tell you something?”
She holds a finger up and points to the back patio.
I nod, being alone seems like a good idea. If the wrong person overhears, it could get back to my father. Ava West doesn’t give two shits about anyone but herself. Of course, she’s making me question that as we make our way through the crowd. Maybe alcohol softens her sharp edges a little.
We’re nearly outside when Ava stops. “There’s Money. Let me get him. He can get you to your house.”
I want to tell her that I don’t need to go home, but by the time she abandons me at the door to catch him I’m wondering if I do. There’s too
