“I wasn’t going to sleep in the bed with you.” He sees the look on my face and quickly adds, “I didn’t want to freak you out.”
“You could’ve slept in one of the other rooms.” The pool house has three bedrooms and a living area. It isn’t like the floor was his only option.
“And leave you there like that? I wanted to make sure that you were okay. It wasn’t safe to leave you there alone.”
Now I definitely feel like a bitch. Sterling Ford might not be a traditional knight in shining armor. Nope. His armor is tarnished and his attitude is just as bad, but he’s my savior nonetheless.
“And thank you,” I say quietly, “for driving me to the hospital that night. I was terrible to you.”
“I think it was understandable, given the circumstances.”
“Not really.” I shake my head. “I felt helpless.”
“We all do stupid shit when we feel powerless.” There’s not a note of judgment in his voice for once.
I hate that he’s right. I nod, still feeling ashamed.
“I’m really sorry about your mom. You okay?”
“I think so. Thanks,” I say, my mouth going dry. “I miss her. You know…that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud. Everyone’s avoiding the topic. I think they want to help me move on.”
“You don’t move on from that.” He hesitates for a second. “My mom died a couple years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. And I am. I know how much it hurts. I know it can’t be undone. That’s why he came to the funeral. It wasn’t out of some perverse curiosity. He came because we were in this together. Most of my friends have lost parents to divorces. They think they understand. Sterling and I share a bond that neither of us want.
“You sure they’re swimming and not murdering each other?” he says, changing the subject as the sound outside grows louder.
I’m grateful for the segue. We head out the French doors to find my friends splashing each other in their underwear.
“Well, this is something.” Sterling smirks.
“They look like little kids,” I say.
“They look like they’re having fun,” he says.
“Want to join them?” It’s the wrong thing to ask, because I barely have time to process Sterling’s arm wrapping around my waist before he throws me, fully dressed, into the pool. I come up, spluttering, just in time to see him do a cannonball in after me. Poppy and Kai shout their approval at this turn of events.
“I can’t believe you did that,” I scream, peeling wet hair from my face.
“Oh shit!” Poppy looks from him to me.
“Sorry, Lucky,” Sterling says. “I thought you could use a little excitement in your life.”
“Is that so?” I tread water, glaring at him.
“Okay, maybe not excitement,” he hedges, “but some fun?” He no longer sounds so sure about this theory.
“I’ll give you fun.” I dive toward him, throwing myself against his body. We crash under the water in a tangle of arms and legs and possibilities.
An hour later, after Sterling’s clothes finish drying, the three of them head back to campus in an Uber. I sneak into the kitchen through the back door. My father and brother don’t come down here, so it’s the safest option. But the heavenly scent of bourbon chocolate chip cookies, Felix’s specialty, greets me on entry. He pauses at the oven with an eyebrow raised.
“Long night?” he asks, scanning me up and down. I’d foregone the dryer in favor of a large, fluffy towel. He looks at the puddle dripping onto his clean floor and sighs. “I’m not going to ask.”
“I went for a swim.” It’s not exactly a lie.
“Get changed and come down for a cookie.”
I dash upstairs and toss on some yoga pants and a clean T-shirt. Then I head back down for cookies and advice. Felix is always good for both.
He’s pulling the first batch out of the oven when I arrive. I reach for one hot off the cookie sheet, and he smacks my hand away.
“I thought you might need these when you didn’t come in last night,” he says.
“Did anyone else notice I was gone?” I ask.
“They haven’t said anything to me.” He winks.
I swipe a hot cookie off the rack and bite into it. Chocolate and vanilla move across my tongue, but it’s the slight hit of whiskey that warms me up. I groan. “I did need this. You’re psychic.”
“Equally good for heartbreak and hangovers,” he says to me. “What am I dealing with?”
“The latter,” I admit. Felix doesn’t need to know the particulars. I’d rather he think I was out having a good time, having a little too much to drink, then worrying that I was in danger.
“It sounds like your friends and you were having a blast this morning,” he says.
“Sorry,” I say with a frown. “Were we too loud?”
“It’s nice to hear laughter in this house again,” he says, adding quietly, “Of course, I’m not used to boys spending the night.”
“Nothing happened!” Normally, I would have snuck Sterling and Kai off the premises before dawn. It’s not like a guy’s never spent the night in the pool house before. Plenty of my male friends have crashed there over the years. I’d always just been too afraid of what would happen if daddy spotted them to let them stay past dawn. He’s too preoccupied to notice something like that now, but Felix isn’t.
“No judgment.” That’s his way of saying that he’s cool. Felix is cool. But he’s more like my granddad than he wants to admit. I know he doesn’t want to think about me having sex with anyone—not that he has to worry about that.
“I didn’t recognize those boys,” he says.
“They’re just friends,” I say, taking another
