The gentleman is gone. I can’t see a hint of him hiding in Sterling’s primal eyes.
“You wanted me to fuck you,” he says, his voice nearly a growl. “You wanted me to fuck you so that you could hate me. You’d get off on that – screwing someone you hate. Poor little rich girl with no one who loves her. Don’t flatter yourself that I’d lay a finger on you. You begged me last night. You were on your knees.”
A dangerous flicker in my chest ignites into fire. “I’ve never begged you for anything.”
“Tell yourself that, Lucky. You did and you will again. I know you. I know the only thing you crave more than someone to love you is destruction. You want to be wrecked. You want to be broken.” His hand moves to my face, but I don’t flinch. I just scowl as he traces my profile with his fingertip. “Isn’t that, right?”
“Think what you what,” I shoot back. “From now on, no more making this look real. No fake dates. Stay away from me.”
I duck under his arms, half-expecting him to stop me. Sterling is true to his word, backing away to let me pass. “You don’t even see it do you? I took care of you last night. I kept you safe—and you thanked me by accusing me of something you know I would never do.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I whirl on him. Zeus pads up to me and sits at my feet as though he senses now is not the time to jump up for some love. “Don’t pretend that I know who you are anymore. Don’t pretend that you know me. Stop living in some idealized version of the past. I don’t know what you’re capable of, and you certainly don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“Not an apology, clearly.”
“Oh, I am so sorry that I jumped to conclusions!” I storm. “It’s not like it’s that hard to imagine. You did kiss me!”
“So you remember?” he says coolly. “And the rest?”
I take a deep breath and do the last thing he expects, if only to prove him wrong. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“You’re welcome,” he says tersely.
Zeus pushes his muzzle into my hand and I scratch his head absently.
“But you’re right. This thing between us isn’t going to work. I can see that now.”
“I tried to tell you,” I say.
“It was your idea.”
“Pretending—not actually going out on dates,” I remind him. Why does it feel like a moot point?
Sterling stalks toward me, stopping a few paces before he reaches me. “Answer one question for me.”
“Why should I?”
“Because you just accused me of taking advantage of you. I figure you owe me,” he says.
“Fine,” I mutter.
“When was the last time you had that much fun?” he asks.
A half-dozen moments flash to mind. He’s in every one of them. “I can’t remember.”
“That’s what I thought.” His tone makes me shiver. Sterling sees right through me. He always has.
“I should go.” I force myself toward the door.
“I can drive you home,” he offers.
“I’m going to meet Poppy,” I lie.
Before he can call my bluff, the lock turns and his door swings open. Zeus bounds toward the girl coming through it with a leash in hand. She’s gorgeous, leggy, maybe nineteen.
“Hey, boy,” she greets Zeus, freezing when she realizes we’re here.
I glare at Sterling before forcing a smile onto my face. “You must be the dog walker.”
“Um, yeah.” She clips the leash on Zeus. “I’m sorry. Should I come back later?”
The question is directed at Sterling, who is looking at me when he answers. “We’re all through here, Carly.” He looks to her and speaks like I’m already gone. “Zeus has been pacing around waiting for you.”
“Did you miss me?” Carly croons.
I slam the door on their conversation. I avoid the bellhop’s eyes the entire ride to the lobby. I’m sure a guy who works an elevator for a living has seen his fair share of graceless morning-after exits before.
Digging my phone out of my pocket to call a car, I see I have a missed call. I half-expect it to be Poppy checking up on me after last night’s shenanigans, but it’s not her. It’s Trish, the editor from Bluebird.
The future called while I was busy reliving the past.
That’s the problem with Sterling, I can’t be the girl he fell in love with. Not anymore. If he knew the truth, he wouldn’t even bother trying. I can’t keep doing this. I’ve given up too much. I’ve lost too much. It’s time to move forward. I press the call button.
Trish picks up on the second ring. “I was hoping you’d call back today.”
“I’m glad to hear from you,” I say truthfully. The universe seems to be sending me a sign. “What’s up?”
“Do you think you could drop by the office? I had a chance to look over those edits you sent back to me the other day.”
I bite my lip dreading what comes next.
“I love them,” she says to my surprise. “You totally understand the author’s direction and where she’s losing focus. You’re exactly what this book needs. I was hoping we could discuss a job.”
“Of course,” I stammer.
“Excellent. Can you be here before noon? I have phone calls after lunch, so my availability is tight. Otherwise, it will have to wait until next week.”
There’s not enough time for me to get home and change. Last night’s bar attire is not exactly the height of professionalism. Still, there’s no way I’m losing this opportunity or waiting longer to move on. I needed a sign. The universe sent one.
“I can be there in an hour.”
“Great. I’ll see you then.”
I hang up feeling more buoyant than I have in months. Now I just have to figure out what to do next. There’s no way I can show up
