I know and take an oath on that the more we become aware of our parts, the more we accept our differences, the more we work together in harmony, the happier we are. It even affects our outside life. It’s not rocket science but seems a hard thing to master, because the world seems to be filled with unhappy people. It must be the same for other people.
Miss Marple calls me the observing ego. That sounds too Freudian and too objectifying to me. I’m sure she didn’t intend to upset me, and she didn’t. I simply don’t agree. I’m a witness and record keeper. I know what’s going on for each part of the Tribe and I keep a record. One day, when we need it, we’ll have a record from birth to death. I’m the record keeper because I don’t feel things.
No one person would survive knowing everything that happened to us and feel the feelings that go with it. That’s why we have as many parts as we do. Each part manages a certain incident or a part of an incident while others manage feelings. Some times are better than others. If we hadn’t been able to store our trauma memories with different parts, we would be six feet under already.
Take Luke who is driving much too fast right now, if I may say so. He can only function as our driver and man about the house because he doesn’t have many memories of abuse. He’s speeding. That means he’s not coping as well as I’d wish.
“Slow down, we don’t want the police coming after us.”
“Sky! Keep out of my driving.”
Luke almost barks at me but he slows down. This is a stressful time for him. The poor lad shoulders the full responsibility for our getaway. His hands grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn pale. Every hundred yards he shoots an anxious glance in the rear-view mirror.
“He’s afraid the police are chasing after us. I dare them to. I’ll show them what crazy really means.” Amadeus’s anger is spilling out of him and he slams his hand against the car door.
“You keep out of this, wise guy. It’s lockdown and I’m driving. You are not helping.” Luke pushes Amadeus back and concentrates on the road.
“Settle down you two. It won’t happen. Helen never gets up this early. By the time she does, we’ll have a five-hour lead. For the moment we are safe,” I say hoping to ease the tension. The last thing we need is fighting amongst us.
I’m sure we’ve got a good chance to get away this time. We’ve never been this well prepared. Lilly and Luke planned for months to create the ideal camouflage for our escape. Lilly bought three magnetic car advertising signs and personalized number plates that we stuck to the van at our first rest stop. Now we drive under the pretense we are 4evafit, a gym from Hamilton.
I move closer to Luke to reassure him. The coast is clear. Nobody’s following us… so far. But I know better than to relax and so does he. How often did we run away and thought we were safe? Helen or Horace always shot up in front of us unexpected like Zombies that rise out of graves at the stroke of midnight.
We work well together, even without talking out loud. We hear what’s in each other’s mind. I can do that with most of the Tribe. Lilly and Luke often sense what I want. The others are not so good at it. I have to tell them. But at times like this, having the connection is very helpful.
“Do you think we made it?”
I detect doubt in his voice.
“They’ve always found us, no matter how far we’ve got. How do you think they did that? As if they’d stuck a locator beacon to our van.” Luke frowns as he waits for my answer.
“I do.” My response comes automatically, even though something niggles in the back of my mind. What did we overlook in the past that allowed them to find us? We are close to the Morrinsville intersection when I know what we’ve missed. It’s as clear as daylight. I could kick myself—if I had feet. Which I don’t. Have feet that is.
“Stop the car.”
It’s five o’clock in the morning and we’ve been on the road for two hours. It took an hour to smuggle everything Ama had packed into the van. Bless her. Lilly found the shoebox of money stashed away in Horace’s closet. She also combed through his home office but couldn’t find anything useful. In the end, she only took a thick folder filled with our medical history and hospital admissions. It may not be of much use to us, but at least we can go through it and be aware of what they have against us.
Luke pushes the switch for the emergency lights and stops the car on the side strip of the road. We climb out into the crisp dawn air and stretch. The sun is rising and drives the stars away from the blue turning morning sky. He takes a deep breath and the cold air rushes through our body. I feel energized and even Lilly, who hovers in the back, watching and listening as she always does, sticks up her head.
“Why did you ask me to stop?”
“It’s the phone. It’s the only thing I can think of. Horace gave it to Elise so she could always call him if she got lost. And you know how often that happened.”
He fishes for the phone in the deep pockets of his jacket and raises his brows.
“Shall I chuck it away then?”
“Wait. I have a better idea,” Lilly says, putting her hand on Luke’s arm to stop him. He doesn’t like to wait. He wants to get as much distance as possible between us and Helen. But if we want to improve our chances, we
