And besides, as I’d admitted to Halstead, I’d made up my mind long ago that I would never marry significantly above or below my station. Whatever the force of feelings that might lead to an unequal marriage, there were other parties to be considered. And Harry. Nothing was more important than seeing that Harry was taken care of, and I couldn’t have anyone distracting me from that. Still, it was a sort of relief to my traitorous heart that Halstead had vowed never to marry.
A knock sounded at the door, interrupting my thoughts. Without waiting, Aunt Agnes pushed open the door and strode in. “You embarrassed me tonight and made a fool of yourself at the dinner table and again in the drawing room.”
My shoulders tensed, but I turned the vanity bench, anxious to face whatever lecture she had in store for me so I could be done with it. My feet had grown cold during my contemplation, and the warmth of my covers was inviting compared to my aunt’s sour face.
She crossed the room, coming to stand in front of the fire, blocking much of the heat. I curled my toes up under my nightgown.
“Juliet, I don’t like your secretive manner. You evaded my questions this morning on the way to church, and then this evening, with nary a warning, you were seated next to the duke. You are making a nuisance of yourself, and I don’t like it.”
“But how can you say that?” I protested, wrapping my arms around my middle. “It isn’t as if I requested to be seated next to him.”
“No, but you have your ways, and I’ve never seen someone so clever at getting what she wants. You have all the aspirations for being a social climber just like your father.” The severity of her brow left no doubt as to her opinions of the man I so loved and on my being like him.
Anger flared within me. “My father married my mother because he loved her. He never received a single pound from the family. To say otherwise is unjust.” I hated the way she talked about him; she never even really knew him, by her own choice.
The lines around her lips grew more pronounced. “That may be so, but he benefited from your mother’s status all the same. You see how quickly he moved through the ranks to become a captain after he married a person of quality.” She said quality with such hauteur, it seemed impossible for her to raise her chin another millimeter and not be staring at the ceiling. “I have done my best to keep you in your place, to not let you get above yourself, at least in terms of your aspirations for marriage. Don’t set your cap at the duke; the thought is laughable.”
If only she’d known I’d had the exact same thought just moments before. But her words still smarted. I folded my arms across my chest. “I am not setting my cap at him, whatever you may think.”
The sharp lines on her face softened, instantly making me wary. “Juliet,” she said, taking a seat on the small blue-floral fainting couch in the corner. “I didn’t come in here to speak with you about the duke.”
Her claims were laughable since she’d started off with that very topic. Even still, I waited, curious to hear what she might say next.
“I came to speak with you about Robert. Surely you cannot be ignorant of the fact that he cares for you.”
The turn in conversation surprised me, and I nodded slowly. My defenses began to settle. “Yes, I’ve come to understand that.” My chest constricted as I remembered Robert’s confessions of love.
Her cheeks pulled upward into the smile I was accustomed to seeing her use in front of company. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man so besotted. He loves you, Juliet.”
Hearing the words from her lips, from one I might have expected to disapprove, took me off guard. “It’s been a lot for me to take in,” I confessed. “As much as I care for him, I am still uncertain of my own feelings.” Was I? I had thought for sure I knew my own mind, and yet . . . Robert’s kind smile came to mind, his gentle manner. How could I not at least consider him, when he offered so much?
“Difficult as it might be to believe, I remember quite well being your age.” She sighed, and her face relaxed further. I couldn’t remember ever seeing it so natural and unguarded. “It’s a whirlwind of emotion, of hopes and dreams for the future. Of weighing out options and wondering if you’ll choose right.”
I blinked, speculating whether it was truly my aunt who sat before me. Somehow I couldn’t reconcile the thought of this disapproving woman, ever cold and masked, with the image of a young woman my age, giving voice to so many of my own thoughts. How was I to choose? And how was I to know that I’d made the right choice?
Aunt Agnes nodded at me. “Having already chosen my path, I offer only a word of advice. The world can be a cold, hard place. To find someone who adores you as Robert does, whom you know will cherish and care for you—it is not something to be passed over lightly.”
Her words echoed the fears that constantly resounded in my head. I’d never really felt like I belonged anywhere, not since my father had died and our little family had gone to live at Lymington Park. Yes, Robert had been my friend and my confidant, but I’d always felt like an intruder in his home, a temporary passer-through. Would that change if I married Robert? Would the ache to belong dissipate if I opened my heart to him?
My aunt rose.
“Aunt Agnes, I—” The words died on my lips. “You approve, then? Of Robert’s affections?”
Her lips tightened into the stiff line I knew all too well. She
