Liddy turned away from him, feeling torn.
“Lids.” He pulled her back to him, pulledher so close with his arms tight around her that she could feel his heart bangingthrough their chest walls.
“Are you gonna be okay?” His tone was almostbegging. “These…things – they’re all connected to your…getting better. Please,tell me you’re going to have a good day – oh God, the bad sleep.”
“No, I’m okay.”
He brightened. “Rapture. So tell me you’llhave a good day, and paint beautiful paintings, and look smiling and pretty fortonight.”
“Tonight?” Liddy was confused.
“Dinner out with Carl. I told you - when?Sunday? He just texted, cops all forgotten, reminding he wants to have dinnerwith us, help us celebrate the move.”
The shoulders slumped and she nodded. Ohhell…Carl.
“I forgot,” she said.
“I probably said it in a mad rush, we’veboth been under pressure.” Paul turned to pick up his things. “I almost forgottoo.”
Liddy watched him, telling herself that by thelight of day with the sun streaming through the windows, what he said aboutthat fighting couple could be right – they’d either made up or called it quits.Fights happened all the time.
She took a deep breath. “Now I rememberwhat you said about Carl word for word. Dear o.c. hard-working-except-for-womenCarl wants to take a whole two hours off to celebrate at Righetti’s, thenyou’re both going back to the lab.” She squared her shoulders. “Right, got it.”She managed a smile.
Paul looked more relieved; looked suddenlyexpansive, in fact. “There’s another reason tonight’s going to be special. Asurprise.”
“Surprise?”
“Yup.” He grinned. “I’ve been trying not toeven hint, but – see? I’m lousy at keeping secrets. So you’re up for tonight?”
“I’ll be ready, gorgeous and smiling.What’s the surprise?”
“Not telling, and you left out relaxed.Please forget what I said about Carl last night. He was just upset.”
“Sure.” Not likely.
“Will you meet us at the restaurant? We’re goingstraight there from work.”
Liddy said yes. Paul gave her a hurried hug,and left.
And the bad, nagging feeling came back.
Conflict: obsess about that battered youngwoman and Sasha Perry (assuming they weren’t one and the same), versus pushingit down, avoiding more stress in their lives.
The conflict grew in the shower, where atleast there were no weeping faces on the wall.
In the bedroom Liddy dressed in jeans and aT-shirt; then, slowly, sat down by her pillow.
What she felt was like a huge, wet balloon,getting bigger and bigger, ready to explode. She didn’t know what to do, kept seeingthat girl getting slammed like a rag doll, kept seeing her dream with Paulswimming away.
She burst into tears. That lasted for someminutes, till she couldn’t stand it anymore.
She called Beth.
“Hey!” came the bright voice immediatelylifting her spirits. “How’s it going? You good? Not so good? Good day, badday?”
“Bad day.” Liddy pulled a corner of thesheet to mop her face.
“No, what?” There was hubbub in the background.
“This isn’t a good time for you.”
“Never for you! Just another open house,same old, same old. What’s wrong?”
In a weeping torrent Liddy poured it out…allof it heretofore unspoken: the trip to the police, the detective who’d gone toquestion Carl, the resulting stress with Paul.
“The police? Whoa. When did you go to thepolice?”
“Last week, I didn’t want to worry you. Don’tlet anyone hear you.”
“They won’t,” Beth said low. “I’m out inthe stairwell now.”
“Oh…there’s more.” Liddy told about seeingthe young woman get battered. “Bad enough, but…” She burst into new tears.
“But what, honey?”
“She looked like Sasha Perry. So either I’mright or I’ve gone completely off my rocker and need sympathy. Paul says it wasprobably just…s-some couple having a fight and that’s what I get looking into someone’sbedroom at three in the morning.”
Hesitation at the other end; Beth was worrying.
“Paul could be right,” she said dubiously.“But if there’s anyone’s gut I’d trust it would be yours before his oranybody’s. Liddy dear, your husband’s a not hugely deep, walking calculator, aliving, breathing …I don’t know…like one of those machines programmedonly to work, and if you impede them they go all haywire, blow their fuses,send out sparks.”
“When I saw that girl get slammed, I swear Iwanted to call the police. Or that detective.”
“What’s her name?”
“Kerri Blasco.”
“I saw her on television! She looks nice.”
“I may still call her.”
Thoughtful pause at the other end. “Wait,” Bethsaid gently. “What you saw…I’ve been where that girl was, the awfulfights before the divorce. It must happen a thousand times a night in this city.”
“So do nothing?”
“Wait a little. Watch that building, andmost of all, watch yourself.” Beth paused. “Save yourself, Lids. Most of all,save yourself. Something’s going on, but you don’t know what, so just…hang on. Pullit together and save yourself.”
Silence from Liddy. She was mopping herface with the sheet.
“You there? Lids?”
“I’m here. I may not sound it, but I feelbetter. Not ready to explode anymore. Thanks, Beth.”
At the other end someone called to her. “I’mcoming,” she called back. Then, to the phone, “Lids, you know how I almostonce self-destructed, so please, do it for me. Put on the face, hang tight, andsave yourself.”
“Okay.”
“And call if anything. Any time dayor night - three in the morning, even!”
“Okay.”
28
She went to work. Forcedherself like a nervous engine to finish the woman-in-rain watercolor - theeasier job - and emailed the publisher that it was ready. Next she opened thewindow top to let out turpentine fumes, and sat on the tall stool to work onthe Rawlie oil painting. Princess Whatsername’s blue toga needed a thin, translucentglaze; in a rush Liddy mixed her palette’s squeezed blob of cobalt blue with toomuch turpentine, made a smeary mess, lost patience and in a jerky movement knockedover her can full of brushes. Dammit, dammit! To cover the birch floor, theyhad ironically wound up putting down the same old tarp from the old apartment.
Good thing, because she’d also spilled someturpentine. Cursing, she knelt to clean.
Then went back to tackle the blue toga andfinished Rawlie’s post-apocalyptic light spear. She spent hours in a fervor, thenpacked it in, pulled the window’s top sash closed and locked
