He was shaking his head, his head that wasstill in his hand. “Not guilt,” he rasped, very quietly…and suddenly the roomstilled, became quiet as death.
Paul looked up at her, his eyes stricken. “Iwas sweating fear.” He inhaled, then plunged as if his next words would finishthem both. “Fear you’d remember…that you killed Sasha.”
48
She just stared at him,for long, ticking seconds.
“You bastard,” she finally whispered.
His head was back in his hands, but heseemed quieter now; resigned. His free hand gripped her chair arm.
“What you were crying about at the lab,” hesaid softly, “that Sasha and I had been…skinny dipping? Her hair was wet?” He lookedsorrowfully at the floor. “It was your hair that was wet,” he whispered,then stopped dead silent.
Liddy’s heart racketed so loud she couldhear it.
“Remember now?” he said after a bit. “Did Ijust jog the rest?”
After everything, everything, the thought thathe would play this final, hideous trick on her took her breath away, andsuddenly a longing dragged at Liddy to do nothing but collapse, to surrendercompletely before such evil. She withstood it though; shut her eyes tight for asecond, then pulled together all her resolve and hatred too; hatred for thisman she’d never really known who had put her and was still putting her through suchhorror. Fast, she reached for her box cutter; flicked the blade out to itslongest; held it firmly point-down at her side.
Insanely, Paul didn’t react. Just satthere, looking sad. “Another death, Liddy? Okay, go for it. Without me to coverfor you, what will you do this time?”
She gripped her blade tighter, trembling. “Inever went near Sasha.”
He stared limply at the floor. “You cameback from that gallery opening and found us. Found us fighting, ironically. Shejust…showed up because I’d been trying to break it off. She’d been pleading andcrying, hanging on me when you walked in.” Paul looked up. “Does that bring itback? DiStefano’s gallery opening? You’d been drinking, came home holding ahalf empty champagne bottle and threw it at me.”
“No,” Liddy breathed. Then, like a flash, partof it did come. Her knees buckled. Her back hit the wall and she slid slowly tothe floor. “You told Sasha…‘Wait for me in the boat’…I heard you say that.” Herface crumpled; an angry tear spilled down her cheek.
He rose from the chair and knelt to her,held her shoulders. “No,” he said gently. “’Wait for me in the boat’ is whatyou texted her - from my phone later while I slept.” He looked down at the bladeshe still gripped; tried to ease it from her. She wrenched her hand from himand raised it, glaring and threatening. He held his hands up in surrender.
“Okay,” he said softly. “Keep it. Justlisten.” But one hand dropped close to hers, ready to grab.
“I heard the door close when you left.” Hiseyes grieved. “We’d been fighting and drinking after she ran out. I thoughtyou’d left me and I just…lay there, miserable. Then it occurred to check my phone…”He gulped air. “I ran. Wasn’t in time. You were in the water. Shewas…gone.”
His free hand reached to brush a strand ofhair from her brow; his other hand stayed near hers gripping her blade. “I gotyou out, soaking. I walked us back. Didn’t even want a cab to see.”
Liddy gaped at him, struggling to breathe, tearsof shock streaming.
Paul pulled her to him, comforting,comforting, again trying to take her blade, again giving in to her resistance. “Didyou take one of my anesthetics with you? Find her in bed and knock her out? Youdrowned her, Liddy. Weighted her down with something, let the current carry her off,that’s what you said. You even sent her phone down with her. All the way homeyou ranted, ‘See? I thought of everything.’” He exhaled hard. “It was almostthree in the morning. You were still…crazed, fighting with me, drinking morewhen we got back. Then you…ran out.”
“Into the traffic,” Liddy wept, gripping herblade.
“Yes.”
“Wh-what about your phone? If Itexted her…”
“I erased it.”
He pulled her to him again. “Shh…they’llnever know. The girl was self-destructive, and we’ve been through a bad patch. Whathappened is out now between us, but they’ll never know. We’re going to be okay.”
Liddy looked up to the painting, saw theeyes.
“I remember now,” she breathed, tearsslowing, finally seeing every image of that terrible night flashing,resurfacing. “You brought it all back.”
“Yes.”
“Only, you told it backwards.”
He looked at her. “What?”
“You told what you did, and Ifollowed. You were drunk when I got you out of the water, ranting she was goingto go to the dean, ruin you. You’d swum out with her, let the current take her.No one would know, you kept saying. They’ll never find her.”
Paul dropped back on his haunches andstared at her. “Oh Lids, now what?”
“She agrees.” Liddy pointed up to thepainting.
He turned, saw Sasha Perry glaring down athim, the words Help me beneath.
“You painted that!” He looked incredulouslyback at her. “You painted it like that!”
“No, Sasha came to me. She’s been beggingme for help.”
“My God, have you really-”
“You killed her.”
He saw her move. Her hands shook wildly asshe tried to hang on to her cutter and get out her phone - hit speed dial,call Kerri – but with a yell he was on her like a wild man, one handcrushing her wrist holding the blade, the other hand flinging her phone away.No, God, please…she heard it clunk something and skitter away; knew she wasdead as she struggled against his weight, screaming “You killed her, you killedher!” but he was on her face fast, pressing an acrid-smelling cloth. No!His better-than-Propofol, he’d had it all along! Had just been playingher, knew she’d never stay silent, was probably planning to – what? – drown herin the bathtub? Say she’d been suicidal?
She felt the drug’s first effects, startedto paralyze but her eyes still moved…and then froze, gaping in horror at whatshe saw behind him.
49
Ping!
The oddest feeling came to her, just likethat, as Kerri waited for the mess to clear on Broadway. Maybe a reflex – the carin front of her had screeched to a stop, hadn’t
