I swallowed back a sharp retort. “Sure. Come on back.”
I walked out from behind the bar. Walker was standing right there. It felt as if every hair on my body was electrified. I was so attuned to him. Although I was confused and hurt over his complete silence the last few days, I sensed something was very wrong.
Walker didn’t say anything and followed me quietly through the door into the back hallway. It swung shut behind us, and I walked halfway down, my anxiety driving me forward more than anything. Uncertain where to go, I went into a storage room, which held shelves of beer and liquor.
When I turned to face Walker, he stopped about a foot away from me and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Dave died.”
Shock hit me. “Oh my God! What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He had a stroke. It affected the part of his brain that controls breathing. He lost air long enough he was brain dead. Apparently, having a stroke is a common complication from cardiac surgery.”
“Oh, Walker, I’m so sorry.”
Those last three words felt so incredibly inadequate. Yet, there were no words adequate enough to capture that loss. I didn’t realize I’d stepped closer to him until I felt my hand sliding down his forearm in a caress. His eyes searched my face before he cleared his throat and took a ragged breath.
“I lost my phone,” he added. My anger and swirling confusion dissipated instantly. “I tried to call before I left, but it didn’t feel right to say that on a message. When I couldn’t get a hold of you, I just had to go.” He paused, and the sound of his swallow was audible in the quiet room. “They took him off life support this morning after another long night. His mother kind of flipped out, so it delayed the decision.”
I suddenly felt terrible about my anger and doubt. Dave was Walker’s closest friend. I couldn’t imagine the sense of loss he was feeling and wished I’d been able to be there with him.
“I’m really, really sorry, Walker.” I placed my hand over his heart, feeling the steady beat of it underneath my touch.
He nodded slowly before lifting a hand and brushing a wayward lock of hair behind my ear. “I understand if you’d rather not, but I was wondering if you’d go to the funeral with me.”
“Of course I will.”
I felt his heartbeat kick up as he regarded me. After a moment, his eyes fell closed, and he bowed his head slightly. I waited, because it was the only thing to do.
When he lifted his head, his eyes immediately locked with mine—the look there was intense and piercing. My own heartbeat started to drum wildly.
“The other night, I meant to say something, and I chickened out,” he said. His mouth curled at one corner with a sheepish smile.
“You? I find that hard to believe.”
I meant that, I truly did. Because Walker was many things, but a coward wasn’t one of them.
His heartbeat drummed under my palm, and I sensed he was nervous. My heart responded in kind, picking up its pace until I felt a little breathless.
He nodded slowly. “I talked to Dave that day, and he told me not to be an idiot.”
“About what?”
“I only said I thought I was falling for you. That wasn’t the whole truth. There’s no more falling. Hell, I’ve already crash-landed. I know I’m in love with you.”
His words shocked me. My heart stopped beating, and my breath seized as I stared at him. Then, my heart lunged, like a celebratory song of joy burst through me.
My mouth must’ve fallen open because Walker stepped closer, pressing two fingers under my chin. “You seem surprised. Let me make it completely clear. I never expected to fall in love with anyone. I know maybe you don’t return the feeling. You did, after all, tell me you didn’t even date. If I had more sense, I would’ve realized it that very first weekend on our fake date. I. Love. You. Everything about you. Including your attitude and the way you challenge me. I can’t imagine life without you, and when I realized that, I called Dave for some advice.” Sadness flickered in Walker’s eyes, but he forged ahead.
All the while, every word tattooed itself across my heart, stripping away my defenses, the joy so intense it hurt a little. Because, in all honesty, not only was I afraid to trust, but I was afraid to love. These last few days terrified me because I’d gone and fallen so hard for Walker that I didn’t know how to ever make it back.
“So, I chickened out what I meant to tell you and only half-said it. The last few days have been shit, and I still can’t quite believe it. But, I’m not gonna wait to honor the last advice Dave gave me. I know maybe you’re not ready, but—”
My words burst forth, interrupting him swiftly. “I am ready. I guess I’m a chicken too.” I hadn’t even scrambled up the nerve. Everything felt as if it were spinning inside of me, a swirl of emotion with all of my old fears tangling into it. On the heels of a deep breath, I finally let my heart speak. “I love you. Maybe I don’t date, but I’ll date you.”
I didn’t realize I’d started crying until I felt Walker’s thumb under one of my eyes and felt the cool path of the teardrop smear over my cheek as he brushed it away. “Hey, don’t cry,” he murmured.
I smiled and felt like an idiot. “They’re not sad tears. I promise I’m just—” I circled my hand in the air. “Overwhelmed, I guess.”
His eyes held mine for a
