“All Republicans are not tightfisted.”
“All loving, kind people aren’t socialists.”
“Guys, please.” I held up my hands and rolled my eyes. “You’re going to do my head in.”
“Sorry, Betsy,” they replied in unison, guilty looks on their faces. I knew that for as much arguing as they did, they both secretly enjoyed it. It was something that Nolan and I had never understood, and it had exasperated us growing up, but Jules and Jeff were like the brother and sister that each one had never had.
“So how many bachelors are going to be in the contest?” I asked Jules as I handed them their cupcakes. They took their plates eagerly, and Jeff placed a twenty-dollar bill in the tip jar. “Thanks.” I smiled at him. They were both my best customers, but I didn’t make any money off of them because I didn’t charge them for any of the cupcakes or drinks they wanted. I mean, who could charge their friends?
“I’m not sure yet,” Jules said. “But there’s already a lot of buzz around town because Nancy Lee suggested that there be some sort of kissing contest at the auction, and the Canyon Beach police station has issued the name of the cop who will be representing them.”
“Oh?” I asked, my heart starting to race in anticipation. “And what do you mean, a kissing contest? What’s a kissing contest?”
“I don’t know, but maybe Jeff here can answer our questions as he’s the one who will be kissing half of Canyon Beach and spreading his saliva to the world.”
Jules grinned wickedly but my heart fell at her words. Jealousy spread through me like wildfire, and all I could think about was, How the hell am I going to make sure that the only person Jeff is kissing on the night of the Bachelor Auction is me?
Chapter 2
Betsy
“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” Jules sang as she danced around my living room later that evening. It took everything I had to not roll my eyes at her giddiness. Of course, I was happy that she’d found love, but it just seemed so awkward that it was with my brother. I wanted to ask her about the sex and if they’d done anything crazy, but I also didn’t really want to know. I mean, who wants to know how big their brother is? Certainly not me. I’d always guessed that they had a bit of a thing for each other, but I’d never expected them to end up together, and I certainly didn’t expect to be pretending I couldn’t see the huge hickey on her neck. Normally, I would tease her about it, but I didn’t want to know what else my brother’s teeth had been up to.
“All right, Jules,” I said as she grabbed my hands to waltz and started singing a song from The Sound of Music. “Can we stop dancing for a second? I need your help.”
“My help? Oooh!” She stopped dancing and peered at me, her brown eyes curious. “What help do you need?”
“I think we should sit down.” I carefully pried my hands away from hers. “Do you want a cupcake?”
“What flavors do you have …” And then her voice trailed off and she raised a hand. “Wait a minute, what’s going on here, you need to talk to me about something apparently serious and you have cupcakes? Is Nolan cheating on me?” Her eyes narrowed as she gazed at me. “Is that it? Is that why you’re acting so serious?”
“Julia Gilbert, everything doesn’t revolve around you and Nolan.” I was slightly annoyed. “The whole world isn’t the Jules and Nolan show.”
“I was thinking we could be called NoJo,” Jules said with a grin. “As a couple name.”
“What?” My jaw dropped. “Are you serious? That doesn’t even make sense. How does Julia and Nolan become NoJo?”
“It’s meant to be like, ‘Jules and Nolan, they’re no joke.’” Jules wrinkled her nose as she spoke. “Okay, I agree, now I’m saying it out loud, it sounds a bit whack.”
“Whack?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Since when did you join the mafia?”
“What?”
“Isn’t that what the mafia do when they put a hit on someone?” I grinned.
“Huh?”
“They whack them.” I started laughing and Jules just stood there shaking her head. “It’s a mafia term.”
“Hmmm.” Jules made a face. “If you say so.”
“And you’re a writer. You should be using more elegant language,” I teased her because, normally, I need to carry a dictionary around with me when we were together.
“Really, Betsy? You always complain that my vocabulary’s pretentious, and now I’m not elegant enough?” Jules looked offended, and I grabbed her hand again.
“Come on, Jules, I have bigger issues than you and your vocabulary, and no it has nothing to do with you and Nolan.”
“What’s going on?” she asked as we finally settled on the couch in my living room.
All of a sudden, I didn’t know where to start. I was so embarrassed. “I bought a pair of crotchless panties,” I admitted. “Bright red.”
“No way!”
“And I dropped them off on Officer Fernandes’s desk,” I continued. “And he let everyone at the station know.”
“Oh my God, I had no idea you were interested in Max Fernandes!” Jules looked gobsmacked. “Are you guys going to go on a date?”
“I’m not interested in Max.” I made a face. “He’s annoying and a pig.”
“So why did you give him sexy underwear?”
“It wasn’t for him,” I said.
“Then who was it for?” Jules stared back at me and then she groaned loudly. “Oh God, please do not tell me that you bought them for Jeff.”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“I won’t tell you that.”
“Betsy, no-o-o.” Understanding dawned on her face. “Is that why you called me this morning? And then didn’t tell me about it in the coffee shop because Jeff was there? Ugh, you can’t date Jeff. Absolutely not. He’s such a pig.”
“We’re not dating. And he’s not a pig.” I glared at her. “In fact, I think he’s more like a stallion. A tall, strong, muscular,
