His head said break it off. His dick said no fucking way. And his heart? Bruiser had stopped factoring that piece into a relationship since CeCe stomped all over him and left him bleeding and broken in the aftermath of her affair and their divorce.
He knew better than to get involved again, especially with a woman who couldn’t do anything to forward his cause. He couldn’t get more donations or publicity by hanging out with Mac, not like he could with a Grammy Award-winning performer or an A-list female actor.
If it were only about Veronica’s threats, he’d flip Veronica the bird and go on about his fucking business.
But it wasn’t. There was another huge complication. Mac was married to finding her brother. She didn’t have room in her life for anything else other than a hookup now and then. Bruiser was married to football and paying his debt because he’d survived and his brother hadn’t.
Two damaged hearts with serious baggage didn’t bode well for the success of a relationship, if that’s what they even had.
* * * * *
Something was wrong. Sure, Mac’s interview with Veronica had sucked, but she didn’t think that was it. Maybe her radar was working overtime tonight, or maybe she was just paranoid.
Bruiser had showed up late at night, long after she’d given up and gone to bed.
They made love like two people who knew the world could end tomorrow. Afterward, he didn’t stick around and cuddle, which he’d done for the past week. Instead, he got dressed and came back to sit on the side of the bed. “We really need to be more careful. Veronica’s suspicious.”
She didn’t think this was really about Veronica. More likely his nightmare had revealed too much and he was using the excuse to do damage control.
She decided to play along and see where it went. “Tell me about it. I had a horrible interview with her today.”
“Ah, Mac, I’m sorry about that. Really. You denied our relationship, didn’t you?”
Mac flipped on the nightstand light and studied him. “What if I didn’t?”
Panic crossed his face, which pissed Mac off.
“What if I shout it to the entire world, sell the story of our torrid love affair to a gossip mag, or tweet it all over hell and back?”
Bruiser coughed nervously. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“If I did, would you care if we were out in the open?”
“There’s no reason for that. It’s not beneficial to either of us.”
“Scared?” She needled him, feeling a little used by him and a lot disrespected by Veronica.
“Mac, it’ll jeopardize your scholarship.” Bruiser folded and unfolded a corner of the bedspread, as if he found it more fascinating than her.
That really ticked her off. “My scholarship is beyond jeopardized. It’s dead and buried.”
“Aw, Mac, I’m sorry.” He reached out to hug her, but she darted away to stand on the opposite side of the bed.
When she caught him eyeing her naked body, she yanked the damn quilt out of his hands and wrapped it around her. “It was a long shot to begin with. I knew it was. I’ll just try to save some money to attend night school.”
“I could loan you—”
“No, I won’t take charity. Not from you, not from anyone.”
“I was just trying to help.”
“Why help me? It’s not like we have a real relationship.” Mac hated the bitchiness in her voice but couldn’t stop herself.
“There’s not time for one. You’re searching for your brother, and training camp is about to start, not to mention my obligations to my endorsers.”
Something snapped inside Mac. “Your endorsers. That’s what this is really about. You think word is getting out about us. You don’t want to be seen with someone like me. A woman who mows lawns for a living and has dirt under her fingernails.”
Bruiser’s eyes narrowed, and he fisted his hands. Mac could see the anger vibrating through his body. “Don’t ever put yourself down like that. Ever. You don’t need to change for me or anyone else. I liked you how you were before.”
“You’re so full of shit.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Now he appeared good and mad.
“You’re acting like this is my fault, when you’re the one having an issue with us.”
“I’m not having an issue. You are. I can’t carry on a relationship with a woman whose dead brother is a huge part of our relationship.”
“My brother deserves justice, and my family deserves closure.” She was being a bitch, and she knew it, but right now she wanted to make Bruiser disappear. She had a better chance of winning the Powerball without ever buying a ticket than she did of finding her brother alive, yet hearing Bruiser say it with such certainty really didn’t work for her. Nor did all this bullshit he was spewing. If he wanted out, he should just say so, but he wasn’t going to have his cupcakes and eat them too. Not now. Not at this point.
“I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I mean, I don’t know what happened to him, but he’s not going to be found alive.” He sounded oddly flustered.
“What about your brother? I told you my story, and you don’t even trust me enough to tell me about your twin. Why do you have nightmares? Why won’t you tell me what happened?”
Bruiser rubbed the back of his neck and refused to look at her. “I told you that subject was off-limits.”
Mac just shook her head. “If you want to end this not relationship, spit it out.”
Bruiser stared at the floor, a muscle jerking in his strong jaw. “I don’t know. I don’t think this will end well, but I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, the I don’t want to hurt you speech.” Mac’s bitter laugh rang through the room.
“Listen, Mac”—he met her gaze—“I’m screwed up more than you’ll ever know, and you’re not far behind. You can’t say no to your father, and you spend every fucking free minute searching for a brother you’ll never find. You don’t have time for me
