“So, I’ve got you beat on total time, but you’ve got me beat on longest amount of time without sleeping between.” She laughed. “‘All right, we’ll call it a draw.’” She said this in a bad English accent.
I smirked at her. “You quoting Monty Python at me now?”
“Nick, that friend with benefits I told you about. That was his favorite movie. We watched it at least once every time we hooked up. I can quote the whole thing.”
“So.”
She snapped her fingers. “Didn’t work? Damn.”
“Not gonna distract me that easily.”
She sidled closer; turned to face me at an angle, pressing her breasts against me. “How about this?”
“Why don’t you have sex without a condom, Lex?”
She frowned, but didn’t pull away. “Obvious reasons—infections and pregnancy.”
“And?”
A shrug. “It’s too…personal. Too intimate.”
I nodded. “I get that.” Slid my arm around her waist. “How’s this tie into what happened in the closet?”
She bit her lower lip, heaving a deep breath—and what that did to her cleavage did threaten to distract me. “You were bare, and it felt good. Too good.”
“And?”
Another sigh. Damnable swelling cleavage stole my gaze from the deep lush brown of her eyes. “And then, when you were coming, I had this…I don’t know. Vision, maybe. It felt like a memory, but it wasn’t real, it obviously hasn’t happened, but it felt like it. I don’t know. It was fucking weird, is what it was.”
“What did you see?”
“Us,” she whispered.
“Us, how?”
“On the floor of what I assume was a bedroom. There was a carpet and a full-length mirror. I was on my hands and knees, and you were taking me from behind. We were so beautiful together, Myles. So perfect.” Her eyes closed, her voice took on a dreamy quality, as she related what was still obviously a very powerful memory. “I felt you inside me. You were bare. I could feel all of you. Every inch. Every vein. I could feel your balls tapping against me as you slid in, so fucking deep. It was…glorious. Better than anything. What made it so goddamned powerful was…was the sense of…of belonging. To you. You inside me, bare like that.” Her voice shook, broke, steadied. “Then, as you came, in real life, like, in that actual moment, I felt you come in the—the dream, memory, whatever. I felt it, the flood of you. Being filled by you. And it was just…it was too fucking much. It was so beautiful and so right it fucking hurt.”
“Jesus, Lex.” I had a raging hard-on and a welter of confused emotions.
She looked at me, tears in my eyes. “Myles, I—”
The fear in her eyes, the wariness…told me everything I needed to know.
“Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to make that a reality.” I sounded cold and I knew it.
She closed her eyes, relieved or hurt, I wasn’t sure if was one or the other or both. “Myles, that’s—”
“You wanted it, it felt beautiful and right, but you’re not about to let it happen. That’s what made it so hard for you, right?” I felt cracks seam the tender inner sanctum of my heart. “Because letting that happen would be letting me in.”
She straightened, and I saw the moment the clamshell snapped closed. “Yep. You guessed it.” She pushed away from the railing. Turned and went inside. “I’m going to take a shower and change clothes. Mom wants us to meet her and Lucas at some place called Badd Kitty.” And with that, she walked away.
I watched her go.
I’d already had sex with her twice today, and got a handjob to boot. She’d come…god, six times? More, maybe. I wasn’t sure.
So maybe that was why I didn’t invite myself into her shower. That had to be it. A mere surplus of sex. Maybe there was such a thing as too much of a good thing.
I didn’t believe myself for a second. Desire wasn’t the issue, for me. Nor was biology—I was rarin’ to go right this minute.
Taking a shower was her running away. If she let me into that shower with her, she’d run the risk of giving in to what her body and heart wanted but her mind was too terrified to allow. So, she ran.
From me, from us. From herself.
And I let her.
Lexie
I didn’t have the courage to invite him into the shower with me. I wanted to. No matter how frequently I had that man inside me, I always wanted more. I’d always had an out of control libido, an insane capacity and need for sex. Just physiologically, where most women seemed to run out of energy, get sore, need a break, or just plain get tapped out of libidinous drive, I don’t. I just don’t. Myles North is pure jet fuel dumped on my sex drive. What was already a wild inferno, he turned into an uncontrollable supernova. It honestly scared me.
And then there was the emotional aspect of it all. I wanted…a whole bunch of things I couldn’t even begin to quantify or name.
I wanted to be held; I wanted to feel safe—like I had on the plane ride here. Like I had every night since meeting Myles.
I wanted to feel him raw and bare inside me, feel him lose control, feel him desperate and wild and all fucking mine, in my arms, above me, behind me, beneath me, all around me, everywhere in me and through me. I wanted to—
Fuck.
I wanted to love
