I laughed. “Sure. But noses are boring, and while you’ve got a cute one, as far as body parts go, I much prefer your boobs. So I went with that.”
“Ah. Fair enough.” She nodded. “Anyway. You were saying?”
“I said it. It’s as obvious as whatever you want to say is real fuckin’ obvious that you’re holding on to some deep, dark, fucked-up, painful shit. I see it. I know it. I don’t know what it is, and I’m damn certain nobody else does. That’s fine. It’s your life, your history, and your choice to share or not. But know this, Lex, and hear me real goddamn clear: I will wait. I will continue to care about you. I will continue to not let you push me away. I will continue to let you deflect the hard conversations into sex and humor. I’ll let shit stand, for now. I’ll wait.” I fixed her eyes with mine. “But I can’t do it forever. Eventually I’m gonna need either truth and reciprocation, or to be cut loose. I ain’t sayin’ now. I ain’t giving you an ultimatum. I never will. But it’s inevitable. Same for your mom, your sisters, and anyone else in your life. Hard truth is, Lex, folks can only be kept at arm’s length for so long, and then they quit tryin’ to get any closer.”
She swallowed hard. “Fuck.” She blinked, her eyes wet. “So what are you saying, Myles?”
I shrugged. “I’m saying what I said. No deeper meaning, nothing left unsaid. I care about you. Could I have feelings that go deeper than just caring about you? Sure, I could. Maybe I already do. I don’t know. What that means for you is up to you. I will not ask about anything, Lex. You’ve made it crystal fuckin’ clear you will not discuss your past beyond safe surface shit. Okay. Your choice. The wrong one, if you were askin’ me, which I realize you’re not. But still, your choice. Do I want more with you? Somethin’ deeper? Yeah, I do. But I’m gonna take what I can get with you, and if that’s nothin’ but the best sex of my life, so be it. I’ll take it and I’ll fuckin’…I’ll treasure it. But just know that I’m offering more. It’s not unconditional, though. I do have a condition for offering you all of me—and that’s all of you in return.” I stood. Gazed down at her. “I’ll leave you to your thinkin’ and stewin’, now. I’m going back to the bar and I’m gonna hang with the crew, drink some whiskey, have some laughs, play with some kids, get to know Cassie and your Mom. As far as I’m concerned, this conversation is over. I’m not opening it again. I’m not gonna say or do shit to push or ask or plead or pull. I’ve said my piece, made myself pretty damn clear. Ball’s in your court. I will accept without question whatever you choose, Alexandra. But that’s a double-edged sword. This is me chasing you, this is me pursuing you. You try to play hard to get from here, you won’t find me chasin’ you.” I drilled my gaze into hers. “I fuckin’ care, Lex. I want to know, I want to be there. I want more than just sex. But like I said, I’ll take what you’re offering until it runs out and I’ll milk it for all it’s worth.”
I walked away without a backward glance. “Your move, Lex.”
“Where’s Lex?” Cassie asked when I reentered the bar.
I gestured. “Out on the dock. I think she needs to…shit, I don’t know.”
Cassie stared at the door as if she could see Lexie. “She’s kept us all at a certain distance for…years. I never really realized how distant until now.”
Charlie was standing behind Cassie’s chair. “She hides it with her sarcasm and being funny and super, like, bold, but I think deep down she’s…”
“Insecure,” Liv said. “And I just wish I knew why.”
Charlie sighed. “She told me she had a dream of moving to Nashville and becoming a singer-songwriter.”
Liv blinked. “She did?”
Charlie frowned. “You didn’t know? How do you not know that about your own daughter? I mean, Mom, I’m not trying to, like, think I know anything about being a mother, but that seems like something you would know.”
She shook her head. “No, and I feel horrible for not knowing that about her.” The pain on her face was agonizing to see. “You say she had a dream. But she doesn’t anymore?”
Charlie shook her head. “No. She told me one time when she was like seventeen and close to graduating that Dad came into her room while she was practicing her music, and told her that she needed to face reality that she just wasn’t talented enough to make it as professional musician, and that she needed to find a more practicable and realistic goal for her future.”
Liv blinked, and a tear trickled down her cheek. “No. No, no way. He didn’t.”
Charlie shrugged. “That’s what she said.”
“Oh, Darren.” Liv wiped at her cheek. “How could he crush her dream like that?”
Cassie laughed bitterly. “He never believed I would make it as a professional dancer. He paid for the lessons, went to the recitals, but he never really believed in me. He never told me I wouldn’t make it like he did Lex, but I knew that he didn’t really think I could do it. He was always like, sort of just waiting for me to fail, to come to my senses. I knew it. I also knew that dance was the only thing that made sense to me. It just…defined who I was. I’ve learned to define myself other ways now, but then, it was all I had, so I believed in myself despite Dad not believing in me.” She smiled at Liv. “And you were there for me, so that made a huge difference.”
Liv
