I backed away, then. Turned away. Shut off the shower. Snagged a towel from the rack and used it to gently, lovingly pat and dry every inch of her perfect skin. Her hair was still wet, and I hadn’t really gotten clean, just rinsed off. I tossed the towel onto her head, and she laughed, muffled, and then went quiet as I used exquisite care to towel her hair. I pulled the towel off of her face, smiling as her hair went poof, into a frizz explosion in a thousand directions of straight up. I wrapped the towel around her torso, tucked it in around her chest. Wrapped her in my arms. Pulled her close. Kissed her, slowly, gently, putting everything I hadn’t had the words to say into the kiss. It was a delicate burn of a kiss, all heat and no fire, sweet as honey.
I pulled away, leaving her breathless, and just smiled down at her.
I turned, and walked away.
“Damn you to hell for that, Myles North,” I heard her whisper to herself, and I could tell she was shaky, almost tearful.
Lexie
That morning we were busy packing up and saying a few dozen goodbyes; that, at least, was a saving grace. It was absolute hell not dwelling on what had occurred only minutes before.
Mom and my sisters and Crow were the last group we said goodbye to, and then we all piled into a giant black Suburban borrowed from…someone in the clan. Lucas drove us to the ferry with our single bag each, and Mom tried in vain to pretend she wasn’t about to get all emotional that I was leaving again so soon.
Because we were flying private, we didn’t have to go through security or parking, which Lucas thought was just the greatest thing ever. We parked right on the tarmac near the idling jet, and Myles invited everyone aboard for a quick peek.
“Dude, Lex, I am so fucking jealous,” Cassie said, sprawling out on the couch. “This is how you do international travel. For real.”
I just grinned. “It is pretty pimp.”
“The pimpest.” She held out her fist to Myles, and they tapped knuckles; then, Cassie’s eyes went serious, fiery. “Take care of my sister, Myles North.”
He nodded. “I absolutely will.”
“Don’t give up on her,” she said.
“Cassandra, goddammit, not now,” I snarled. “Seriously? Can no one give it a rest for one day?”
“Alexandra, goddammit, yes, right now,” she shot back. “I’m just saying my truth because who knows when or if I’ll ever see him again, so this is my chance. I like him for you, Lexie. And just for the record, if you don’t take the chance while you’ve got it, you’re a moron.” She stood up, wrapped me up in a tight, fierce embrace. “I mean that with all the love I have for you.” She held me at arm’s length, her eyes damp. “And that, just so we’re clear, is a fucking lot.”
Mom sighed. “You don’t need to swear to make your point, girls.”
“Yes, we do,” Cassie and I said in unison.
I shoved Cassie away, but it was playful and loving and only partially serious. “Shut up, dork.”
She just shook her head and let Charlie take her place at my side.
She just hugged me tight. “I love you, Lex.”
I waited, but nothing else was forthcoming. “That’s it?”
She laughed. “Yeah, that’s it. Everything’s been said several times in several ways, so there’s no point me piling on. I love you, I support you, I’m here for you. That’s it.”
I sniffled. “Thanks, Char-Char. You’re the best.”
Cassie scoffed incredulously. “Oh, she’s the best? Is it because she dropped her entire life to come do an epic road trip with you? Because I could have done that.”
“But ya didn’t,” I sang.
“Whatever,” Cassie said, but I knew she was teasing.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Crow and Myles standing close together, foreheads bumping, murmuring in low tones. Crow grabbed Myles by the back of the neck, shook him. Shoved him away in a rough gesture of masculine affection. Stopped near me. His dark eyes burned into mine. He closed me up in a hug.
Whispered, his voice rough and raspy. “Don’t fuck with his heart, Lex.”
I swallowed hard. “Doing my best, Crow.”
“Sometimes our best ain’t enough, darlin’. Sometimes, you gotta go past just doin’ your best.” He tapped me on the nose, just to annoy me. “You’ll be alright.”
And then it was just me and Mom—the girls and Crow had trooped off to check out the plane and Myles had followed them.
She hugged me, too. Hard. Tight. Mama-bear fierce. “I love you with all my heart, Alexandra Rochelle. Don’t you forget that.”
“I know, Mom.” I swallowed hard. Then I said the words that did not at all fucking come easily or naturally: “I love you, too.”
She pulled away, and lost the fight against tears. “I’m sorry I failed you, Lex. I hope someday you can tell me.”
Fuck, fuck. NO.
“Mom…shit.” I closed my eyes. Felt them burn, hot and salty. “Don’t. Please don’t.”
“Can’t help it, baby girl. I’m your mama. I worry for you.”
“I’ll be okay. I’ll figure it out.”
“It’s just…” She rested her cheek against mine. “You don’t get all that many chances at true happiness in this life, Lex. I’m on my second, and I know I won’t get another. I’m taking it and I’m running with it, and I am not letting go, not for a damn thing. No matter what. Because, Lexie, honey, Lucas loves me. Being loved like that? There’s nothing like it. And it’s worth everything.”
Swallowing was hard, breathing was hard. Being me was hard, in that moment. I clung to her. “I hear you. But it
