Each moment the kiss went deeper, and the deeper we went the more my heart opened. Blossomed. Brightened, as if the sun was finally rising—no, that’s not right. The sun has always been shining, I’d just had the shutters and blinds closed all this while. He kissed me, and put all his soul and all his heart and all his love into the kiss, and the shutters and blinds of my heart opened. Burned away, so the sun could finally shine in and brighten the corners and chase away the shadows.
His love was the sun.
I let my eyes burn with it, with a molten swell of emotions that was beyond happiness, beyond joy.
He finally came up for breath and saw the tears on my cheeks. Wiped them away with his thumb. “What’s this?”
“Good,” I breathed, stopping him from wiping them away. “It’s good.”
That was all I had words for.
The rest had to be shown.
I knew what I wanted, and I knew exactly how I wanted it. I pushed gently at his shoulder, and he rolled to his back. He knew where I was going with it—his hands gripped my waist and as I rolled he lifted, and then settled me on his belly. He stared up at me.
“This okay?” I whispered.
He ran his hands up my thighs, over my waist, up my sides—cupped my breasts. “More than okay.”
I held his eyes, hoped he saw in them the fullness of what I felt shining out. I leaned forward, braced my palm on his chest. Lifted my hips. Bit my lip, eager for this and a little nervous as well. I reached between my thighs and found him, thick and hard and ready; took a moment to appreciate the feel of him in my hand, plunging my fist down around him, thumb and forefinger leading the way to his root. He let out a gruff moan.
“Love the way you touch me, Lex.”
I just stroked him. “Like this?”
“God, yeah.”
His hands roamed over my shoulders, down my back. Curled over to cradle my ass. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful, Lex. You take my breath away.”
I laughed, taking my time touching him, enjoying the feel of him; drawing out the moment I would take him naked inside me, nothing between us. “I take your breath away, do I?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let me give it back.” I sealed my mouth to his, bent over him with my breasts pressed against his chest.
He growled, and I moaned, because one of his hands had left my ass and was sneaking its way to my sex, finding my clit and circling gently.
God, I did not need the head start this time.
I couldn’t wait anymore. Didn’t want to. The fear of being with him bare was gone. Residual nerves, sure. But I knew he loved me, and this time I was choosing this.
I guided him to my slit, snugged him inside me, just barely within me.
“Hold on, wait,” he murmured.
I waited.
“I love you, Alexandra.”
Already choked up and fraught with a thousand wild and intense emotions, hearing that, right then, at the moment I needed to hear it most, broke me. But in a good way. I started laughing and crying at the same time, blinking through the tears and laughing. “How do you always know what I need to hear?”
He lifted up, kissed me. “Because I see you, Lex. I’m yours and you’re mine.”
“Belonging,” I whispered. “Not possession.”
“Exactly.”
I was still laughing and crying in some strange mixture of emotional overload, and he was almost but not quite inside me, splitting open my nether lips with a teasing intrusion, a seductive promise of what I wanted, what I needed more than anything…
This.
I sank down on him, and he speared deep, his hardness sliding into my softness, and I cried out with a wild unbelieving groan of homecoming bliss, and my tears and laughter became a wild whimper of everything. I clung to his neck and rested my forehead on his and was too overcome by sensation, and fullness, and him, and us to even be able to kiss him. I sat on his hips with my shins beside his thighs, my breasts draped on his chest, clutching at his face with my hands and breathing him—just feeling him.
He was still and quiet, his breathing deep and even. His hands rested with loving and affectionate possession on my ass.
I rolled my hips, a slow shallow movement. Testing. And oh fuck it was so much, with Myles, like this. With his love for me making this a new and beautiful thing, erasing the old and the painful and replacing it with the glory of us. Stilled again, I clung to his neck and breathed his scent and his breath and his heat, and writhed just a little, getting him deeper. Until he was as fully within me as he could physically be, and he was bare inside me, and so thick and so huge and so hard that I could feel all of him, every throbbing inch.
He growled, hips moving, and I knew it had been a long time and I suspected he hadn’t even helped himself out in that time, so I knew he was close already and needing me to move. I just…couldn’t. I needed to luxuriate in this moment.
I tugged on his lower lip with my teeth and kissed his chin and clung to him and whispered— “I’m sorry, Myles. I know you need to move. I just…I need…I need this. I need to just feel you—feel us.”
His hands slid soothing lines and circles up my spine to curl over my shoulders and then down my back with lightly scratching nails, returning to my bottom, which he squeezed and caressed and petted. “Take what you need, Lex. All the time you need. I’ll wait forever. I can’t promise I can hold out for long, but I’ll do my best.”
I moaned as I lifted up, letting him slip out of me most of the way,
