“Season’s greetings to you, too,” said Kay, breezily. “I’mhere because we have some things to discuss. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“No, I’m bloody not,” he replied. “Anything you want to sayto me, you can say through my solicitor. Now if you don’t mind, it’s ChristmasEve and Lucy and I have got plans. Good day.”
He went to close the door, but before he could, Kay said,“Just let me say five words, and if you don’t want to hear what I’ve got to sayafter you’ve heard them, I’ll go.”
“Go on, then, five words,” said Alan. “And then you canclear off.”
“Zurich Tiger Swiss bank account,” said Kay, taking her timeover the words, emphasising each one in turn.
She watched, delighted, as the colour drained from his face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he blustered.
“Oh I think you do. I know all about it,” said Kay. “Isuppose you thought you were being clever, hiding it from me. Didn’t you?”
“If such an account does exist, it’s my money,” he saiddefensively. “I earned it fair and square. So don’t even think about trying toget a cut in the divorce settlement.”
“Fair and square, eh?” asked Kay. “You know I don’t thinkit’s just me that you’ve been hiding this account from, because I know wherethat money came from. Remember that deal you struck with that major vineyard inFrance? I know all about it. I think you’ve been a bit of a naughty boy,haven’t you?”
Kay was enjoying this immensely.
“Now, are you sure you don’t want to invite me in?” sheadded. “Is that coffee I can smell on the go?”
“Whatever you think you know it’s all above board,” he said,clearly floundering with a look of guilt written all over his face. “You’ve gotnothing on me.”
“Well, if that’s the case, you won’t mind me ringing Nigelto confirm that,” she said, holding up her mobile phone. “Look, I’ve got hisnumber on my phone right here.”
She went as if to dial, but before she pressed the button hehurriedly said, “No, don’t do that. You’d better come in and we can talk aboutit.”
“That’s better,” said Kay.
He looked terrified, like a naughty schoolboy, caughtred-handed and sent to the headmaster for punishment. And so he should. Kay nowhad him exactly where she wanted him.
He led her through to the kitchen, where the coffee pot wasbrewing and the radio was playing “Fairytale of New York”. The place looked thepicture of domestic bliss. At least she keeps the house tidier than the garden,thought Kay.
Having got over her initial element of surprise, Lucy wasreturning to her normal bitchy self, a look of utter contempt on her face asshe saw Kay enter the room.
“What have you let this old slapper in for?” she said toAlan. “I don’t want her in here, spoiling our Christmas.”
Looking Kay straight in the eye, she added, “Sorry, love,it’s Christmas Eve and there’s no room at the inn.” She looked pleased as piewith this remark, smirking at Kay from her cruel little face.
“Shut up a minute, Lucy,” said Alan, moving over to joinher. “This is serious.”
Kay couldn’t help but smile, looking at the two of them intheir matching his and hers towelling robes. Her smile didn’t go unnoticed byLucy.
“Oh my God, look at her teeth!” exclaimed Lucy, who hadn’tseen Kay since the incident that had caused their unfortunate removal. “Youskanky cow!”
Kay didn’t mind the insult. It would just make what she wasgoing to deliver in return that much sweeter.
“Little girl, you should listen to your sugar daddy here andshut up,” replied Kay. “Not that there is going to be much sugar coming yourway in the near future, I fear.”
Lucy was silent in response, but fixed Kay with an evilglare.
“Come on, then, out with it,” said Alan. “Let’s get thisover with. What do you want?”
“Well, as I said at the door, I know all about your secretSwiss bank account.”
“So you say,” said Alan, “but you could be bluffing for allI know. If you think you’ve got something on me, then let’s see the evidence.”
“Oh I’ve got plenty,” said Kay. “Let me spell out thedetails.”
And she did just that, giving him the account number, sortcode, and the dates and amounts of the transactions.
“And just in case you were wondering, I have copies of allthe documents safely tucked away,” she said. This was a lie, but he had no wayof knowing that. “I’m quite sure that Nigel would be very interested to seethem, what with all the rumours going around about financial irregularities.Don’t you agree, Lucy? You do work in the accounts department, after all.”
It was clear from the guilty look on Lucy’s face that sheknew all about this. It was as she had suspected all along. The two of themwere in it together up to their necks.
“Then there are the police, of course. I’m sure they’d bevery interested to hear about all of this.”
“You fucking idiot!” shouted Lucy, straight at Alan with alook of fury on her face. “You said you’d covered your tracks. How did she findout about this?”
“Yes, how did you find out, Kay?” asked Alan.
“How I found out isn’t important,” replied Kay. “It’s thefact that I have found out is what you should be worrying about. And moreimportantly, what I am going to do about it.”
“If you were going to tell the police about this, youalready would have,” surmised Alan, correctly. “So what are you after – some ofthe spoils? How about we cut you in?”
“What the fuck?” exclaimed Lucy. “We’re not giving thistoothless hag any of our money!”
“Do you want to go to prison?” said Alan to Lucy. “Becausethat’s what we could be looking at here. Now just shut up and let me deal withthis.”
Seeing the two of them turn on each other added nicely toKay’s sense of satisfaction at how well events were proceeding.
Turning back to Kay, Alan asked. “So, how much do you wantto keep quiet? Fifty grand? Will that make this all go away?”
“Fifty grand!” exclaimed Lucy. “She’ll only waste it onbooze and fags. Look at the state of her. What about
