Ignoring Craig, Andy continued.
“I would go back to that day, knowing what she was up to,and turn the tables. She knew full well I was her main rival – everything shedid, sleeping with me, the lot, it was all part of her grand plan to get me outof the way. Well, I wouldn’t fall for it a second time.”
“You probably would,” said Craig. “You’re an idiot. As soonas she bought you the first pint you’d down it and ask for another. You can’thelp yourself.”
“Well, we’ll never know, will we?” said Andy. “But while we’reon the subject, get me another pint.”
They never would know, thought Kent. Even if Andy could goback, he’d probably find he couldn’t change anything, just as he had. As towhy, that was still a mystery but one he was determined to get to the bottom of.That angel had some explaining to do.
While Craig was pouring Andy’s lager, Kent decided to askhim the same question. In fact, he decided he would ask all of them.
“So what would you do, Craig? If you could go back in timeand do things differently?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have bought the lease on this place for astart. Like a millstone around my neck it is.”
“You do alright out of it, though, don’t you?” asked Kent. “It’salways packed in here at the weekends.”
“On Friday and Saturday nights, yes,” replied Craig. “Butthen I’ve got to pay for the disco and the door staff, so I’ve got to shift alot of pints to cover that. And the rest of the time it’s dead.”
Gesturing towards Andy, he added, “If it wasn’t for thelikes of him, I’d have gone bust by now.”
“This place could be a little gold mine if you did more withit,” suggested Kent. “Why don’t you open up the restaurant again? The peoplewho were here before you used to do Sunday lunches and all sorts. That’s whereall the money’s supposed to be these days, isn’t it? In food?”
“I wouldn’t know where to start, to be honest,” said Craig. “It’sa lot of hassle and I’d have to employ a chef and more staff. I just haven’tgot the money to invest in it.”
“You just need the right person,” he said. Debs could do it,she’d be perfect, but he decided not to say so. He wasn’t sure how he wouldfeel about having his wife in the pub where she could keep an eye on him.Besides, she had her heart set on having her own restaurant. He doubted whethershe would want to run one for someone else.
“I have had a few ideas to try and get some more people in,”said Craig. “In fact, I was thinking of running some of them past you guys.What do you reckon about me starting a quiz, maybe on Monday nights?”
“Wouldn’t work,” said Nobby, looking up from his paper. “It’sway too easy for people to cheat these days. They can look all the answers upon their phones.”
“What about a music quiz, then?” asked Craig. “Like thatthing they do on the radio where they have to identify clips of music. They can’tlook that up, can they?”
“I take it you’ve never heard of Shazam, then,” repliedNobby. “That can identify any clip in seconds.”
“Well, what about if we confiscated all the phones beforehandand gave them back at the end?” suggested Craig, becoming frustrated with Nobby’snegativity.
“Ha. Good luck with that. No one can bear to be parted fromtheir phones for five minutes these days. I certainly wouldn’t let you havemine. How would I keep up with the evening racing results?”
“Well, thanks for the vote of confidence,” replied Craig ina deflated tone. “I did have one other idea, if you want to shoot that down inflames, too. I’ve been thinking about starting a karaoke night in here on Thursdays.What about that?”
“Ooh, I like the sound of that,” said Kay, who had returnedfrom the toilet as Craig was speaking. “I love singing. I would be well up forit.”
“We know,” said Nobby. “We’ve heard you enough times when you’vebeen drunk. You can count me out. Karaoke is for losers like him.” He pointedat Andy as he spoke.
“How about it, Andy?” asked Craig. “This could be a chanceto redeem yourself and be a star again!”
“It’s hardly TV stardom, is it?” replied Andy. “Besides, I don’teven know if I can sing anymore, it’s been years.”
“I’m sure you can,” replied Craig. “I could even put aposter up on the wall, something like: Karaoke here every Thursday, featuring TV’sAndy Green.”
“Hilarious,” said Nobby, laughing, before addingsarcastically. “That’ll pull them in! You should get hold of that clip of himfalling off the stage and play it on a loop on the screens, too. We can standhim on a beer crate or something. Then, when he gets really pissed he might doit again.”
As Andy, Craig and Nobby continued to banter amongst themselves,Kent found himself once again the subject of Kay’s unwanted intentions.
“Hey, Richard, what say we ditch these boys and their sillysquabbles and go somewhere quieter? My flat’s not far from here.”
She was once again right in his face, wine glass in severedanger of emptying itself all over him. It could only defy gravity for so long.The smell of alcohol on her breath was overpowering, even though Kent wasdrinking himself.
“Look, Kay, I’m not going home with you. I’m a married man.”He left out the word ‘happily’, that would be stretching it a bit, but even so,he wasn’t jeopardising it for a squalid encounter above a chip shop.
“What’s the matter with you? You used to fancy me at school,I know you did. Remember when we had that summer ball? I thought you were goingto ask me to that, but you didn’t.”
“Really?” This was news to Kent. It was true that he had fanciedher when he was a teenager, everybody had, but he had considered her way out ofhis league.
“Yes, really,” she added. “But I wasn’t sure if you wereinterested in
