She is lying in the fetalposition. Her chest moves with each steady breath. I exhale and sitdown on the edge of the bed. Putting my hand on her shoulder, Igently shake her, then I lean down and kiss her on the head. Like ashot, she sits up and stares at me, trying to focus.
“Jade?”
“Of course. Who else were youexpecting?”
She blinks, as though stillmuddled with sleep. “Why didn’t you come home when you weresupposed to?” Her words wavering.
“Annie, what are you talkingabout? What’s wrong?”
I reach out to touch hershoulder, but she pulls away and puts her hands over her face. Abone-deep feeling that something terrible has happened comes overme. I sit silently, waiting for her to say something, she doesn’t.Instead, she moves past me, getting up and hurrying toward thebathroom. The lock clicks behind her.
The shower starts, and I lay myhead on my pillow. I catch a whiff of something foreign. Frowning,I grab a handful of the sheets and smell. Nothing. I turn and pressmy face into the pillow—there it is. Musky cologne, but not thecheap, dime-a-bucket shit.
The water in the shower shutsoff and Annie opens the door, wearing her thick terry cloth-robeand a towel around her head. She glances at me briefly beforewalking into the kitchen.
Getting up, I follow her andtake a seat at the table while she fiddles with tea canisters andadds water to the small silver kettle.
“Talk to me, Annie. I want toknow what the hell is going on. I can’t read your mind.”
Again, she says nothing. Theroom is quiet for what feels like forever, until the kettle startsto boil and whistle.
“Dammit, Annie. You’re scaringthe shit out of me. Say something.”
She slowly turns her focus awayfrom the kettle and meets my gaze. “I can’t. I can’t remembereverything, and the things I do remember, I wish I didn’t.” Hervoice breaks again.
I get up and walk to her. Thistime, she doesn’t avoid my embrace. This time, when I hold my armsout, she falls into me and buries her face into my neck.
I gently lift her chin until oureyes meet. Her usually beautiful eyes are bloodshot and spaced out.I sit her down at the table and then fix the pot of tea and joinher. I don’t want to come on too strong, as is my tendency. I cansee how fragile she is. Gently, I ask if something happened lastnight.
She nods and buries her face inthe sleeve of her robe.
“Did Denny do something to you,Annie?”
I stare at her, hoping to Godthat she says no, but my intuition tells me otherwise.
“Yes, and no.”
I stare at her. What the helldoes that mean? “Annie, did that son-of-a-bitch hurt you?”
“No. Not with his ownhands.”
What the hell does that mean? Ifeel like screaming, but I stop myself. “How, then?”
“He didn’t stop…” She pauses andcloses her eyes hard.
“What?”
“He didn’t stop Robbie.”
My body takes over before mymind can stop it. I reach out and grasp her shoulders. She flinchesbut doesn’t pull away. “Annie,” I say urgently. “Tell me. Whathappened.”
Sniffing back tears, she slowlytells me the story—far too slowly. How Denny and Robbie had shownup and they all sat at the table for a beer. How Denny had saidthat if she had a drink with them, they’d leave right after. Thathe only wanted to drop off some papers for me to sign. “I thinkthey were about your dad’s will.”
I couldn’t give less of a shitabout papers, but I nod to let her know I’m following her andencourage her to keep going.
“They were both being so nice,Jade. Completely the opposite from when they were here before. Ifelt safe with them. I remember getting up to go to the bathroomand then coming back and finishing my drink. After that, I onlyremember bits and pieces, like glimpses in a nightmare.”
“Annie, they drugged you. Theyhad to have. That piece of shit, Denny.”
“It wasn’t Denny, Jade. It wasRobbie, I’m sure of it.”
I think of how Robbie hadstopped Denny that night. I can’t wrap my mind around it. But I cansee in her eyes that she’s certain. “What did Robbie do, Annie?” Iknow what’s coming. I can’t bear to hear any more, but I know Ihave to.
She says the words, and the roomgets smaller. I close my eyes for a long moment, fighting to staycalm. “Are you sure?”
“Am I sure?” She looks at me, aspark of anger in her eyes. “I think I know when I’ve had sex,especially unwilling sex.”
My mind spins and I have toremind myself to take a breath. “We have to go to the police.”
“See.” She buries her face inher hands. “I knew that you would do this. Freak out and want todrag me to the cop shop or the hospital. I’m not going.”
“That’s ridiculous—”
“I won’t put myself throughthat, Jade.” Her voice is firm. “I’ve known girls from work thatthis happened to—they went to the cops, they were brought to thehospital for a rape kit. They said it was humiliating and painful,and that even after all of it, no charges were laid. Not one.”
“How is that possible?”
She looks at the ceiling. Hereyes are sparkling again. “Because, Jade, when you’ve been drugged,your body relaxes. At the hospital, they look for vaginal tears. Iwas so out of it that I wouldn’t have been able to tense up if Itried.”
I feel tears well up. “We can’tjust let him get away with this.”
“What do you mean, we?” She hasthose sparks in her eyes again. “You weren’t there, Jade. This ismy body. I’m not putting myself through anymore and I don’t want tohear another word about it.”
I ignore the stab of pain I feelat ‘you weren’t there’. “Denny, what did he do? He didn’t…hedidn’t…”
“He didn’t participate.” Shepauses. “But he didn’t help me either. I screamed for him to helpme and he left.”
I feel sick at the image. Anniescreaming as Robbie forces himself on her, Denny turning andwalking away. I can’t handle that the same blood runs through ourveins. That fucking monster—he’s just as guilty as Robbie is. Iwince at any thought of violence, but right now, I could end bothof them with a smile on my face.
I hesitate,
