He turned to face me, a wave of anxiety creeping up in my belly. His eyes were an incredible shade of blue just like Ethan’s, only his seemed so much wilder. “Now, what do you really have in that bag? Weed?”
My jaw dropped at his suggestion. “No!”
He laughed, a rich, warm laugh I’d never tire of. “So, what is it?”
“Tampons,” I repeated, avoiding his eyes. I felt horrible lying to him, especially when he was doing me a favor.
“Tampons come in a bigger box than that, kid,” he pointed out, turning his attention back to the road. “You need to think of a better lie.”
“Candy,” I replied. I did have a chocolate bar, but only as a guise for the pregnancy test I’d stolen. “I wanted chocolate.”
“You pregnant or something?” he chuckled. “Who goes out to grab chocolate this late?”
My lip quivered, so I sunk my teeth in, desperate to keep it together long enough to get home.
My silence must have said everything. “Oh shit, Joey. Did you tell your folks?”
I shook my head, turning to stare out the passenger window as the town zipped by. He was going too fast, but I stayed quiet, grateful I’d be home sooner rather than later to get it over with.
If my parents found out, I was toast. Dad might have retired from politics, but he still prized his reputation, so much so that no one knew about Mom’s illness until she had to stay in the hospital.
“Roberts aren’t weak,” was our unofficial motto, but we weren’t just weak: we were disintegrating.
“The dad know?”
I shook my head again, tears slipping. I’d never talk to Matt again. Baby or not.
“I’m sorry.”
His words hung there, the first apology I received about the whole thing. The realization was all it took for a sob to escape, my hand flying up to seal it in.
“Hey, hey...” he trailed, pulling to the side of the road. “Don't cry. I’m sure he’ll be there for you and the baby.”
He’d never understand. If the test was positive, I could kiss Briar and my baby goodbye. I couldn’t care less about Matt. I cared about Mom. I cared about Olivia. I couldn’t leave her alone. Not in that house.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need a friend, I’m all ears. You can’t keep that shit in. You’ll go nuts like my Ma.”
The Barretts were the talk of the town for all the wrong reasons. I wasn’t sure where his father went, but his mother used to stagger around with a bottle of whiskey. She hadn’t been seen in a while, keeping the gossip at bay, but it would be a matter of time before she’d be back.
“Matt Smith attacked me at a party,” I cried, wiping tears on the back of my hands.
The shining star of Briar High grabbed me, forcing me into a bathroom to do disgusting things. A jug of mouthwash to the face got him away, but not before he clawed at me like a cat, his hands seeming to touch everywhere.
“He hit you?” he asked, as shocked as I expected him to be.
Matt Smith was the all-American sweetheart as far as everyone knew, a model student with perfect marks, and the kind of boy Dad wanted me to date someday.
“No." I would have rather taken a punch. At least then someone would’ve believed me.
“Did he rape you?”
“No!” He had violated me, touching me everywhere, but he didn't get a chance to do anything more.
“Joey, you can’t get pregnant unless… well...”
“What?” I whirled to face him, to face the only person in the world that believed me without a second thought. My friends all rolled their eyes, telling me I was confused, that I was lucky to have a senior take interest.
“More... parts are needed.” He squirmed, his cool facade fading.
Parts? Dad always said all it took was hormones.
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. “You mean I stole a pregnancy test for nothing?”
“Be grateful you don’t need it,” he replied. “But are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” I lied, squeezing the bag so hard I thought the box would explode. “Dad said if boys got too close… the hormones. That's all it would take.”
I was so embarrassed admitting everything to a stranger, but I trusted him. One look in those blue eyes and I was lost, all worries wiped clean.
“Your dad was trying to scare you. Jeez, didn’t you take sex ed?”
I shook my head, mortified. Great. Now he knew I was a dork, too. A sheltered dork. My parents signed me out year after year. That stuff was for after I was married. It was SEX ed, after all. I wasn’t planning on that anytime soon.
“Do yourself a favor and check the Internet for the basics. You’re probably running late from stress. Your mom’s in the hospital, right?”
I nodded, surprised he knew. I didn't think he paid attention to anything Briar-related, let alone my family. “She’s sick.”
“I’m sorry. I hope she feels better soon.”
His words offered more comfort than any of my “friends” had, at least acknowledging the hell I was in. Most avoided the subject like the plague. Talking about illness wasn't easy, but cancer was a different league.
“She’s been sick for a while,” I breathed, losing track of how many times she’d been in and out of the hospital. “Cancer.”
He reached out, brushing a tear from the hollow of my cheek. “If you ever need to talk, don’t be a stranger.”
* * *
I jerked awake, my pillow soaked with tears. The memory brought pain with it, my stomach twisting in agony.
I remembered that night so well, Luke being the first and only person to care, the two of us speaking a language of pain no one else understood.
After he dropped me off, I’d figured we’d go our separate ways and never talk again, but we did talk, and so
