He’d taken eleven years from us with his lies on the surface because of the proposal. But once she mentioned the lie, it was clear as day.
And while it churned in my guts, I could never tell Josie the truth.
Josie
I was never drinking again.
Seriously. Ever.
I’d only had two-and-a-half rum and cokes, but they were more than enough, my head screaming as the sunlight poured in the bedroom window.
A full face of makeup coated my flesh like tar, flecks of mascara and god-knows-what smeared on my pillow. I sat up, head spinning, the weight of the polygamy updo straining. A dozen or so pins were sprinkled around the bedspread.
The last thing I remembered was Luke handing me flannel pajamas, the starchy pair the last thing I wanted to wear in summer, but I didn’t argue.
I knew he hadn’t slept in my bed, the room smelling like nothing but my perfume, and the sheets were twisted, as usual, my nightly twirls winding them like fabric corkscrews by morning.
I rubbed at my eyes, more smudges of black rubbing off on my hand as I grabbed my phone to check the time.
9:00 A.M.
Lincoln.
He never slept in, always crawling in bed with me to snuggle when he got up. He’d done the same thing for four years.
I ripped the covers from my legs, almost toppling onto my face as I sprang towards the door. As soon as I yanked it open, I was backhanded by the scent of bananas.
“Lincoln?” I rushed around the corner toward the kitchen, terrified of what mess I’d be walking into. The last time he’d tried to make himself breakfast, I spent an hour cleaning up a gallon of milk.
Light poured in the kitchen windows, forcing a hand over my eyes. Standing at the putrid pink counter was Luke eating French toast. Linc was camped out at the table doing the same, a freshly-cut piece headed straight into his mouth.
Premade sticks adorned their plates, the logs of bread ushering in nostalgia. All around, there were sliced bananas, Linc’s arranged like car tires on each stick.
Where the hell did we get French toast and bananas?
I hadn’t gone grocery shopping yet for the week, too wrapped up in the wedding for routine errands. Linc loved it, excited to have hot dogs most nights, but I missed eating food that didn’t come sealed in plastic.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
Linc giggled at Luke’s words, delaying his next bite. “Hi, Mommy!” He was already dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, a feat for the gods before ten o’clock on the weekend.
“Well, you two were busy.” I scanned the room, spying an orange juice container on the counter. “Did you go to the store?”
How did I not hear them cooking or going in and out? Usually, I was the world’s lightest sleeper.
“Nah, I ran to my house.” Luke stabbed a hunk of banana, popping it in his mouth. “Made plenty for you too, Sleeping Beauty.”
“Mind if I get situated first?” I asked, gesturing at the disaster that was my hair and makeup. The only thing that could remedy either was a steaming hot shower.
“Take your time,” Luke replied, grinning. “We’re going to head outside to play with Tally when we’re done. She’s sitting out on the deck. I didn’t want her to scare you.”
“I’m not afraid of her.” I was full of it, but I hoped one day I wouldn’t be. A big animal with teeth in my house made me nervous. Especially one with more muscles in her shoulders than I had in my whole body.
Luke’s eye roll didn’t go unnoticed, but I let it slide. Only because he was cute.
Okay, sexy.
He must have gone home to shower at some point, his long hair damp and disheveled. He’d adopted the cleaned up look since the opening, his once bushy beard now a neat, trimmed masterpiece that framed his face rather than hid it.
I knew I’d made an ass of myself by telling him I loved him. He said it too, but in truth, we loved what we used to be.
After eleven years, we had a lot of catching up to do, something we’d start when my head didn’t feel like it was full of sand.
And when I didn’t have a little boy watching my every move.
* * *
The creature in the bathroom mirror was as crazy as I imagined, my winged eyeliner smeared like mad, hair a suitable home for a bald eagle or seven.
It took forever to get all the pins out, setting them one by one on the counter as I stripped out of my flannel cocoon, skin slick with sweat from the dense fabric.
I could hear Luke and Linc playing in the yard as I showered, the thin windowpanes doing little to muffle their laughter. It was so strange to hear him with someone else, as it’d been just the two of us for as long as I could remember.
I’d always been the one running around with him, playing friend and foe, teacher and disciplinarian. He was full of energy, sometimes too much for his own good, and filling all the roles in his life was exhausting.
But hearing them warmed my heart, a much-needed comfort with the hell around the corner. It was a matter of time before I had to face Mom and Dad again, and leaving Liv’s wedding with Luke was likely the final nail in the coffin for my relationship with the family patriarch.
I scrubbed the thought away with lavender shampoo, trying to free the tendrils of umpteen layers of product, the stylist trying her best to tame the wavy locks.
But as I washed away the wedding night, thoughts of Luke came creeping up, worry settling in.
Did he know I was a package deal? That every decision would be made with Linc in mind first and foremost?
He lived a bachelor’s life. Would he
