My sides hurt from laughing already, but I couldn’t keep them at bay as more came sputtering out. God, I loved her. One day I hoped to be half the woman she was, unabashed and honest to the core.
“So when is that walking fantasy letting you out of his playpen? He should share! I have needs, too!”
“He’s not playing with me, either,” I grumbled, drawing squiggles in the fabric of the couch cushion with my fingertips. “I’m wasting away like an unwatered houseplant.”
She waved a finger and almost dropped her phone, chandelier earrings dancing as she bobbed her head side to side. “Oh, hell no! Who does he think he’s playing with? He needs to get my girl wet to keep her alive!”
He had no trouble getting me wet. Not that she would ever know that. She was still reeling that I hadn’t told her about our night out at the Lorelei event. If she found out we bumped uglies - not once, but twice - she’d freak out. She’d demand details, too.
“Where is he, anyway? This whole thing is weird!” she squawked with a shake of her head. “How’s he going to fly off like some kind of chicken-shit and leave you in his henhouse?”
“I have no idea,” I replied, just as lost as she was. All I knew was that I was granted a one-month leave of absence from work and that Lil received the next two months of my rent in cash. She hadn’t deposited it at my request, next month’s payment not due for a few more weeks. I’d pay it from savings before letting anyone cover it. “But how are you feeling? How’s Stanley?”
I never thought I’d see the day that I’d miss the ankle-biting demon, but I couldn’t wait to squeeze the little squish again. Even if he tried to take a chunk out of me in the process.
“Stanley is living the dream while I’ve had heartburn all day,” she grumbled, reaching up to fluff her hair, blonde locks shiny in the light. “Don’t eat at the deli down the street. Their antipasto is to die for, but I’ve been paying for it. I might as well sprout wings and fly because I’ve been breathing fire like a dragon.”
“I have antacids in my medicine cabinet,” I offered.
“They’re probably expired like those condoms Jorge found!” she jabbed with a smile, still teasing her hair high. “What were they? Two years past the date?”
Ugh. I’d never live the flimsy, water-damaged box down, one I had tucked away in my bathroom until Jorge stuck flowers in it like a vase on my coffee table. The same box I’d plucked exactly two condoms from since buying it my freshman year of college. One for my first, Kyle, an overly-eager ball of nerves, and the other for Ryan, an ex whose cologne had lasted longer than our relationship.
The memory slapped me in the face with a pesky fact I’d been avoiding acknowledging. One that could spell more disaster than any stupid news story.
Not only had I had sex with Ethan twice.
But I’d done so unprotected.
Keely
I rose before the sun on the twentieth day in the penthouse, determined to get out. I felt like I was serving a sentence I didn’t deserve, two guards posted outside the front door at all times.
Like good caretakers, they brought me whatever I needed, whether it was a candy bar or shampoo when I got tired of smelling like a man. I even had them bring me a box of tampons so I was ready for Mother Nature when she came knocking. And they did it all without batting an eyelash. But they were still armed guards, pistols locked and loaded, barring me from the world.
There were only so many things to do. I’d swam naked in the stupid lap pool, rolled around naked in his big, stupid bed, and sent Ethan naked pictures in every stupid room of his house. They were silly acts of defiance, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
As I watched the sun rise over the water, I thought of Lil, deciding it was time to harness some of her mojo and face the world. I couldn’t stay locked away forever. Besides, venturing out might get Ethan’s attention. Maybe he’d finally come home and face me.
I fastened my hair in a low ponytail, swiping a ball cap from Ethan’s closet and one of his tees, the fabric gobbling me up. Paired with my jeans and sneakers, I was good to go.
I stepped out the front door, the taller guard on duty surprised to see me. I called him Gumby because of his asymmetrical buzzcut, one side fading lower than the other. I went to walk by him, but he held out a massive hand, the limb stopping me in my tracks as it brushed against my belly.
Crap. I wasn’t free to leave. I hadn’t tried to in the height of the craziness, but I’d secretly hoped the men were meant to protect me - not imprison me.
I glanced up at him, knowing he could throw me back inside with a pinky. His biceps alone were bigger than one of my thighs.
Instead of flicking me back into the penthouse like a paper football, he grunted, “Where?”
For real? I was free to go?
I racked my brain, deciding to harness some of Lil’s mojo in person. She took Stanley for his first walk at six each morning, so I knew she’d be up. “I’m going to go to my friend’s house for breakfast.”
“We drive you.”
I wanted to argue at his caveman response, but one hard look from Gumby had me nodding my head like a bobblehead doll. Standing at least six-foot-eight, he could snap me like a twig without breaking a sweat. Besides, I was desperate to get out, and if that meant letting them drive, I would.
The undead-looking guard I called Mortimer drove, while Gumby sat with me in the back,
