He picked me up after work, and we settled in with tacos and spreadsheets, babbling over the items I flagged and exploring new product lines. It was nice to have my opinions respected, even if he thought the wire fasteners I found were a waste of time.
He was more than a man of steel beneath the broody facade, pinches of personality poking through when he thought no one was looking. He excelled at seemingly everything he did, perfecting chopsticks like a pro minutes after I taught him, putting my skills to shame. He could also cook like nobody’s business, whipping up a few meals that made me look as domestic as a wild hog.
He also had a soft side, reluctantly agreeing to watch Dirty Dancing one night and knowing every word of the film. He didn’t speak them aloud, but I caught him mouthing lines when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. He might not have led onto it, but there was a warmth in there somewhere.
I watched his chest rise and fall before he rolled over, leaving me alone on my side of his bed. That’s right. The left side was all mine. That was another update. I had my side of the bed and my spot on the couch.
“I’m heading out of town for a bit...” he trailed, standing to pull his briefs on.
“Supplier meets?” I asked, sitting up. “NorCon is coming up.”
“You follow NorCon?”
“Duh.” It was the biggest industry event in the state. Marty went every year, scoring a hotel stay courtesy of Croft in New York City.
“You ever been?” He tugged his shirt over his head, covering up his delectable abs.
“No,” I replied, pulling on clothes, knowing this was the part where he drove me home. “That’s usually Marty’s gig.”
While we were bonding over other things, the mood always changed with sex. It was a switch for him, shutting off the warmth. He transformed into a robot that quickly took me home after.
It made me feel cheap, but I didn’t say a word, enjoying what we had aside from the few stinging minutes of embarrassment. There were intimacy issues there, but I’d never push. It wasn’t my place. We all had our reasons for building up walls. Besides, he was more than a fuck buddy; he was a friend.
“Want to go?” he asked, sliding his jeans on.
“I can’t go with you!” I objected. There was no way in hell we could traipse around New York City together and not get caught.
“I didn’t say that. I asked if you wanted to go.”
“Of course I do,” I muttered, frustrated with the bite to his voice. “I’ve wanted to since I started at Croft.”
“Then I’ll make arrangements for you and Lee.”
I felt guilty accepting a trip from the guy I was banging, but it’d be the perfect opportunity to network. If the stars aligned, I could find a dream job at the convention.
“How?” I asked, pulling my sweater on.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure Marty won’t mind?” The last thing I needed was their Cold War to get worse. I was already struggling to remain neutral to keep the peace.
“Who gives a fuck about Marty?” he shot back. “Nothing has to be approved by him! I’m his boss! I make the calls!” He wasn’t yelling, but he was practically snarling, fraying my nerves.
I finished getting ready, the only sound in the suite the rumbling of the air conditioning despite being well into fall.
The ride to my place was equally icy, not a word spoken.
“I’ll be out of town for two weeks,” he said, pulling into my complex minutes later, finally breaking the silence between us.
“Okay,” I muttered, not sure what to say to that.
“I’m leaving in the morning.”
“Have fun,” I replied, opening the car door as he parked.
“Elena-” he called, catching my wrist.
“Yes?” I turned to face him, his expression finally relaxing.
“I’m sorry for being short with you,” he breathed. “I’m taking my frustration out on you, and it’s not right.”
I offered him a lopsided grin and pressed a kiss to his stubbled cheek. “You’re forgiven,” I murmured. I had no right to hold any grudges. I wasn’t exactly attitude-free all the time.
He sighed before kissing me gently. “I’ll miss you, Keebler.”
I didn’t know if he was talking about the next two weeks or after January, but I wouldn’t push. I knew where I stood and how I’d feel when the day came.
“I’ll miss you too.”
We walked to my unit in silence, Jason always the gentleman in walking me to my door. The building was dead quiet; most of my neighbors tucked away for the night. They’d be back with a vengeance in the morning with vacuums, usually, when I was just getting to the good part of my dirty dreams, more and more, which starred the hunk at my side.
As we neared my door, he took my hand in his, twirling me into a hug and leaving a kiss on my forehead. “Can I come in?” he asked.
Wait. That wasn’t how it went. He always walked me to my door, said his goodbyes, and left with a wave. No hugs. No kisses. I eyed him carefully. “You want to come in?”
“Only if I’m allowed...” he trailed. “I don’t mean to impose.”
“No, no, it’s fine...” I had no idea what he had in mind, but I wouldn’t object.
We’d never hung out in my apartment before, but nothing about our relationship was exactly normal. How many fuck buddies geeked out over part numbers while scarfing down takeout?
I unlocked the deadbolt and stepped inside, thankful I tidied up. It wasn’t anything like his luxury digs, but I was proud of the little shoebox I called home, even if the building was more like a retirement home than an apartment complex.
I
