“Or needing instructions on how to scan a document...” I shot back, grinning.
Lee cackled as I swiped the screen.
Jay: At lunch? Walked in, and didn't see you.
Oops. I forgot to clue him in on the plan.
Not in today. Playing hooky with Lee.
Jay: You're not supposed to tell me that.
You gonna fire me?
Jay: Maybe.
What if I lie to put your conscience at ease? We had bad sushi and can't stop vomiting on each other.
Jay: Sounds like one of Don's movies.
I giggled, earning a puzzled look from Lee, who was basking in her unicorn onesie, still munching on pizza.
“Jay?” she asked.
“Sorry, yeah.” I deleted the conversation as a precaution and locked my phone.
“You look like the cat that swallowed the canary,” she observed.
I shrugged, mimicking her and grabbing another slice. I already had two, but everyone knew calories didn’t count when celebrating.
And I was celebrating. I was beyond thankful I didn’t end up married to a slimy sleazeball with a goatee. He and his ugly loafers could fuck right off.
She narrowed her eyes at me, reading me to filth. “We all know you've had his canary in your mouth.”
I choked on cheese as I laughed.
She grinned, stretching tall, happy with herself. “Don't hate me because I'm right.“
I had no defense, so I stuffed another bite in my mouth, slice three well on its way to my thighs.
“Okay. I've been patient enough. When do I get to meet him?”
I shrugged again, chewing away.
“Is it getting serious?” she asked.
I held up a hand over my mouth as I chewed, the last bite a little too big to go down gracefully. “No, it’s too early for all that,” I replied.
The truth was, having him gone for two weeks was rough. It made January seem unbearable, but I forced the thought into the background. I would worry about that when the time came.
She frowned. “Have you had the exclusivity talk?”
“Kinda.”
“Kinda isn't a thing. It needs to be spelled out. I don't want my best friend infected with itchy burny cooter disease.”
I smirked. Now that was the perfect disease name to scare people out of having unprotected sex. “Is that a technical term?”
She scowled and took a long chug of beer, finishing her one and only of the day.
“Well, for one, we always use condoms.” Lie. He was more than happy when I told him I was on the pill and had been for years. “And two, I'm confident I'm the only one.” Semi-lie. I didn't really know that, but I was fairly certain. We spent too much time together for him to hide someone else.
“Why's that?” Lee asked, crossing her arms defiantly.
“I see him almost every day...” I trailed. Not a lie.
She perked up, her cheeks flashing red. “WHAT?!? And I still haven't met him?”
I ached to tell her, but couldn’t risk it. I would when I had a new job, and he was tucked away in Chicago. No one could prove or do a thing then, if she slipped.
“Look, I want to do this right this time.”
Lee stared at me intently before sighing. “Oh girl, you're in deep.”
Each word pierced the armor I erected. Something was there. I missed him and was more than ready to watch a crappy horror flick together while eating takeout. Next up was the Vietnamese place around the corner from his hotel, marked on a sticky I left on his fridge.
I shrugged sheepishly. “He’s a good time.”
He was so much more than that. He made me feel wanted and admired. Smart and funny. Attractive and desirable. They were feelings I hadn’t felt in so long.
Lee smiled, reaching out and squeezing my knee. “You deserve it, baby.”
And for once, I could admit to myself that I did. I’d been through hell, yet a year later, I was climbing back towards the top. Sure, I wasn’t in a meaningful relationship, but I moved on, and soon I’d be free of Croft too if I were lucky.
“I’m not beaver damming, am I?” she asked suddenly.
“What?”
Beaver damming?
“You know... the female equivalent of a cock block?”
I burst into giggles. “No!” I laughed. “He has a job, remember?”
“Maybe he wants some lunchtime nookie.”
“Yeah, no.”
Jason usually worked through lunch, eating carefully measured, fancy-schmancy delivery meals with organic this and steamed that. He was a creature of habit, rarely straying from his set macronutrient goal for the day. There was a reason he looked like sex on a stick.
Meanwhile, I ate almost half of a pizza to myself.
“You never know,” she teased.
“I know, but he’s a busy bee. He doesn’t have time to pollinate my flower at lunch.”
Lee hooted in delight. “Oh, good God!”
I shrugged. “He doesn’t!”
“You want him to pollinate you?”
“Uh, no. I have a great relationship with my birth control pill.”
I’d always wanted a little one, but with how things were going, I wasn’t convinced it’d happen for me. I was inching closer to thirty-three with no baby daddy prospects in sight.
“Oh, come on, El. You love kids. If he’s hot, he’ll make cute kids.”
“Not true,” I laughed, a few Hollywood examples flashing through my mind. “I like kids, but I’m having fun for now.”
“It’s a shame you can’t get a donation from Barrett. That man will make gorgeous kids.”
I popped the last bit of crust in my mouth to avoid having to answer. Not going there. He would make beautiful children if he ever had them. I doubted he would, however. Jason was a lot of things, but he was not a family man. He was married to his career — not a home life.
“I’d love to see his face if he was asked!” she cackled.
“He’d crucify me,” I replied, not at all a lie. That was one way to bring our rendezvous to a grinding halt. Oh hi, I wanna have your babies. Yeah, no.
“Have you been to Jay’s place? House? Apartment? Condo?”
I hated when she rattled off questions. It only led to more lies on the fly, guilt mounting with each new one thrown on the pile.
“An apartment,”
