I looked to Lee, my best friend, my sister, and my heart broke completely. Her eyes showed nothing but pain, the mischief gone, replaced with a mist of tears.
“Lee?” I squeaked, not recognizing my voice.
She shook her head, a hand flying up to clasp over her mouth.
I looked around again, all eyes still glued to me, a dead silence blanketing the office. I had all the confirmation I needed, and I was the one facing it alone, forced to take the embarrassment along with a mound of betrayal for the road. I looked like the monster.
Marty’s door popped open, and he waved an arm beckoning me over, a look of sadness haunting his face.
I stood, gathering what I could of my belongings. Despite it all–the twisting guts, the burning chest, the pain–I walked out with my head held high, refusing to crack. I wasn’t going to give them more to talk about.
I refused to let Marty fire me, hurrying when I heard him calling my name, strolling by Monica, who was leaning against the bathroom door smiling. I flipped her off and kept going. I would leave on my own terms. At long last, I would take control of the situation.
I walked through the lobby, heels echoing with each step. Complete silence followed, but I was sure I heard people getting up to watch my walk of shame. I didn’t give a rat’s ass either. Let them gossip. Let them soil my name. Let them think the worst of me. It was probably the most fun they had in years.
I kept my composure across the parking lot, counting down the steps to my car. It was there that I could lose it, that I could let out the sob that was strangling me since Monica revealed the awful truth. Every step felt like a mile, but I was determined to give myself a shred of dignity to mourn the loss of my love in peace.
I tossed everything into the back and slammed the door, climbing into the driver’s seat as the facade cracked. It hurt more than I could bear, the weight of a thousand bricks crashing on my heart. Tears blinded me with their fury, turning my physical world into as much of a blur as my personal life. I leaned forward and let it all out, awful sobs ripping through.
I was a complete fool. I shouldn’t have trusted him. I knew better.
I didn’t care about those fuckers inside. But I had integrity, dammit, and it was tarnished because of a man that couldn’t tell the truth. He made me look like a monster–a home-wrecking hussy of a liar.
Worst of all, I was a liar. I lied to them all. I was having sex with the boss right under their noses. Even my best friend’s. And I lied to her to cover it up. Repeatedly.
But I loved him. Goddammit, I loved him. But how could I still love him after what he did?
There was a tap on my window.
I jerked upright, wiping my eyes, face to face with Lee, my best friend who I betrayed. The one I kept the biggest mistake of my life from.
I tried to roll down the window, but she yanked the door open instead and looked me dead in the eyes. “You’re such a stupid bitch sometimes, but I love you,” she declared, hauling me into a hug. “Fuck them! They don’t matter!”
I fell apart at her words, sobbing uncontrollably. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you!” I cried, clutching onto her for dear life. “I’m such a terrible friend!”
She squeezed me tight. “Yeah, you were terrible, but you were fucking Mr. Jerkoff, so it rubbed off on you!” she laughed. “But if I got to fuck that, and it had to be a secret, you’d have to cut my left tit off to talk.”
“What am I going to do?” I wailed. It was so much worse than with Justin. At least then, I still had a job. My reputation. My identity.
“Well, for one, you’re not going back in that shithole, and I’m not either.”
“What?” I shrieked, pulling back.
She smirked. “Yeah, fuck them.”
“Lee, you have a family!” Me quitting in my situation was one thing, but she was a different story.
She shrugged. “There are other jobs out there that aren’t full of backstabbing fuckwads.”
I shook my head. “You can’t do that!”
She had a family. A husband. Kids. A house. A dog that ate more than I did.
She chuckled. “Well, I have no choice. I told Monica what I thought of her in front of everyone. Marty too. C-bomb and all.”
“You did what?” I sputtered.
“It was pretty epic,” she bragged, smiling wide. “It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. The whole office will tell their grandkids about it one day.”
As great as it was, I couldn’t smile if my life depended on it, sadness gripping me tight. “Now what?” I asked, more lost than I had ever been.
“We get the hell out of this dump and go back to your place. Then we plan.”
“Plan?” Fresh tears welled. There was no way I could plan. I didn’t know up from down anymore.
“Yeah, we need a plan.”
“I don’t even know. I have so many bills.” It was a rash decision to walk out, and I should have let them fire me so I could’ve collected unemployment. But like so many things, I fucked that up too.
She squeezed me gently. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t stress. I’ll meet you there, beautiful.”
* * *
I drove back to my apartment with Lee following close behind, likely wanting to run me off the road with how slow I was going. I couldn’t help it. The tears made driving difficult, sobs erupting as I pictured Jason’s face–his beautiful eyes, those lips, that smile. It was all an act. A ruse to get in my pants. And I fell for it. I never wanted to see him again as much as it hurt to admit.
He knew how I felt about
