Chapter 25
It had been five days since they’d rushed Paisley to the hospital. Five long days where Braxton was required to provide twenty-four- attention to his daughter. He didn’t mind the responsibility, but he’d come to realize how much of an important part Paisley played in his day-to-day life.
He’d never considered that she was, for all intents and purposes, his wife. Saying the words and believing them were two different things. She wasn’t just in this in name only, no, she truly lived the role day in and day out. She made his meals, did their laundry, and provided for their child even though she hadn’t given birth to Emmersyn. The only thing that they didn’t share was a bank account or his bed. How had he been so blind to all of this for so long?
When she’d said I do, she’d embraced the meaning of those words fully. Yet he had said the words without considering what they really meant. He had been focused on keeping his daughter and not what being husband and wife meant. After all, he’d never had feelings for Paisley in that way. But now, after assessing his life during the last week, he’d come to learn that he relied on her more than he should have. He’d taken her for granted, and whether or not he’d intended to, he’d willingly let her take control of his life and manage their routines.
Now, as he sat in his car outside of the hospital, he was forced to assess his true feelings. He’d always had a special connection to her when they were kids. As he reflected back on those times, he’d come to see that he was closer to her than Paxton. She was the first one he’d share news with. Not that he didn’t tell Paxton things as well, but guys didn’t get all emotional the way girls did. And he’d wanted to share the ups and downs with someone who felt as equally excited or disappointed as he did—and that had always been Paisley.
As he strolled through his memories of them growing up, he recalled a time in middle school when she’d stirred feelings within him. But he’d quickly shut those feelings out. He’d tucked them away in the recesses of his mind and forced himself to forget about them because there was no way he could feel that way about her.
Now he saw that he’d subconsciously acted upon some of those feelings blindly. Like the times when he’d spend hours staring across the street, watching her like a stalker in the dark. How had he not recalled all those nights? Or the time he’d decided to change her nickname from caterpillar to butterfly because he’d noticed how she’d filled out and become a woman who any man would desire.
Yes, he’d dated a few girls, even screwed a few faceless names. But until then, he’d never assessed the reason that those events had never bloomed into anything more, and it was because he’d always compared them to Paisley. They hadn’t listened to him as intently as she had or they hadn’t gotten as excited over things as she had. Subconsciously, he’d thought this about them when he’d determined whether they were dating material or not. He even went as far as thinking about the few one-night stands he’d had, and even though it hadn’t registered back then, he now recalled thinking their tits weren’t as perky or their bodies were not as shapely as Paisley’s. Again, why hadn’t he noticed this back then?
Hell, his relationship with Alissa hadn’t had the same emotional connection he’d had with Paisley; maybe that was why he’d proposed, but could never set a date. Internally, his heart hadn’t been ready to bind itself to Alissa when it clearly wanted someone else.
He contemplated his life for what it truly was, he came to see all the moments he’d probably hurt Paisley by not reciprocating her feelings. She’d opened up to him on that one drunken night, and he’d chosen to ignore her admission. Rather than calling her out on them the next morning, he’d allowed himself to accept her story about blacking out.
All the times she’d seemed angry when she went out with him and Alissa started to make sense. She had been jealous. That was the reason she’d separated herself from him once they’d graduated from college and moved back home. She hadn’t wanted to see him and Alissa together. It had nothing to do with not wanting to be around him; it had everything to do with protecting her heart. Then there was Pete.
Braxton reached for the keys in the ignition, and as he began to turn them, he stopped to listen to the Brad Paisley song that had just started playing. The words tugged at his heart as they described a woman he couldn’t live without. “Looking great in cheap sunglasses” fit Paisley to a T. She’d always bought dime-store glasses because she was forever losing them. Wearing holey jeans was also something Paisley loved to do. As the song progressed and Brad crooned out that she was everything he ever wanted and everything he ever needed, Braxton knew it was exactly how he felt.
His hand fell to his leg as his head rested against the seat and he listened to the rest of the song. The words to “she’s everything” danced around in his head and he saw only Paisley as he visualized what the girl in the song would look like.
When the song ended, Braxton reached into the console to retrieve his wallet and exited the car. He paused while reaching behind him to tuck the wallet into his rear pocket.
He opened his wallet to expose a picture of Paxton, Paisley, and himself with their arms wrapped around each other. The picture had been taken before
