“Why the fuck not?” I bellow. “Why can’t you fucking say it?”
“Because I want this. I want you.” A sob. “Cal, don’t make me.”
I close my eyes, inhaling her sweet scent. “Please,” I beg. “Please say it for me. So I can love your body like a normal fucking person. Pull the motherfucking leash, baby. Please.”
More tears spill down her cheeks. “Chaos.”
I slide out of her and twist her around, pulling her into my arms. “Thank fuck.”
My heart is pounding in my chest as I hug her tight, kissing the top of her head. She clings to me like I’m her only lifeline in a stormy sea. This fucking girl is going to destroy me.
Gripping her ass with one hand, I lift her and then guide my dick into her warm, tight body. She feels like her body was made for mine. A perfect fit. I carry her into the dark bedroom and crawl onto the bed with her in my arms. A sigh leaves her lips once I have her settled on her back. My lips press gentle kisses on her forehead, nose, and cheeks.
I thrust my hips, loving the way her nails scratch along my scalp. My lips seal over hers as I claim her with my mouth. Her body clenches around my dick each time I drive deep inside her. She shudders hard, a clear indication she’s close to coming. It’s a good fucking thing too because I’m about to blow my load inside her. She’s too damn perfect.
“Those piercings,” she whimpers, her words breathy and filled with pleasure.
“Hitting all the right spots?”
“Mmhmm.”
I pick up my pace, nipping at her bottom lip. A few more hard slams of my hips and she’s crying with my name on her lips. I grunt when my nuts tighten, my only warning of my own release. Heat floods out of me, filling this girl up to the brim. I continue to drive into her, pushing the cum out with each thrust. It soaks the bed beneath her. I love the idea of her dripping with my cum.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Shame looms over me like a tidal wave, threatening to drown me. What kind of sick fuck am I? I’m perverted for enjoying the way I humiliated her. It’s twisted as hell.
“Cal,” she whispers.
Pulling away, I leave her a panting mess on the bed. “I’m sorry.”
Charlotte
I’m stunned.
Simultaneously turned on and horrified at my behavior. The things we got up to in that bathroom weren’t right. They were somehow worse than the stuff Ryan and I did, but this time, I felt like I was in control. I had the power to stop it. I did stop it, after Cal’s begging, and he made love to me like he treasured me.
So why do I feel sick to my stomach?
He seemed disgusted at himself, which makes me disgusted at myself. I don’t know if I’m supposed to comfort him or give him his space.
The shower turns on and I decide the space will only create a division I don’t want. I want to feel close to him. We need to talk about this. Clear the air. Make things right. Sliding out of the bed, I wince at the pain in my ass. Everything’s sore, but in a good way. As I walk to the bathroom, his cum runs out of me, coating my thighs with his essence. There’s something incredibly primal about the way he took me. I loved it. So why does he seem to hate it?
He’s already in the shower by the time I make it into the bathroom. I pull back the curtain to find his head bowed as he stands beneath the spray of the water. My heart twists painfully. I feel like I’ve hurt him somehow. Broken him in a way that’s unfixable. I step into the shower and wrap my arms around him from behind, resting my cheek on his back.
“I knew this would happen,” he mutters. “I’m too fucked up with you. I want…”
I release him, stepping around him so I can get under the spray with him and face him. Tilting my head up, I look at his gorgeous face. “What do you want?”
His green eyes darken. “To hurt you. After all the shit you went through with Ryan, it’s the last thing you need.”
“But it’s what I want,” I argue, frowning at him.
“But it’s fucked up,” he snaps. “You’re fucked up, Charlotte.”
“So?” I bite out. “It’s better than the alternative.”
Perfect lips curl into a cruel, hateful smile that makes me flush. “What’s the alternative?”
“Breaking. I would rather be fucked up, warped beyond belief, than to be broken. I refuse to be broken.”
“You’re letting me break you,” he growls. “You want me to do it. Begged for it.”
I shove him back, putting distance between us. “It’s different with you. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. It’s mutual. I consent to it. You’re just as fucked up as me. That’s why we fit.”
He steps forward, his hand gripping my throat. “We’re not supposed to fit. Two fucked up people need to stay far away from each other because someone will get hurt.”
“I can handle it!” I shriek. “Ryan put his hands on me so many times. He hurt me and made me cry. I hated every second of it. Now you’re acting like I’m some weak, delicate flower. I am not fucking weak!”
I’ve begun to sob, which argues that fact, much to my horror.
His thumb strokes my throat. “I’m worried about you hurting me, Charlie girl.”
“You’re untouchable, Hoodlum.”
“Not physically,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m afraid you’re going to rip my fucking heart and soul out. That I’ll be left an empty husk when you finish with me. I’ve lost so much because of Terrence. If I lose much more, I won’t be me anymore.”
Guilt chokes me. I tremble, wanting to break our stare so he doesn’t
