Erik shook his head back and forth slowly, aware for the first time that she was squatting between his legs. She must have realized it too because she braced her hands on his knees and stood up to sit back beside him on the bench. Without asking, she took his wrist, glanced at her watch for a moment and then smiled back at him brightly, releasing him. “Getting back to normal now.”
“Why—how—I mean, why did that h-happen?”
Katrin drew back from him, tilting her head to the side, a grim look on her face. “I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist, so this would just be a guess. But, those commitment issues you have? I think they may go a little deeper than just feeling attached to your bachelorhood, Erik.”
Right. She’d been talking about husbands and kids and picket fences when he suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. She’d been talking about those things, and he had pictured himself in her dreams. And it had scared him to death.
He nodded and ran the backs of his hands over his damp cheeks, then leaned back on the bench, embarrassed and unable to look at her.
She elbowed him in the side. “Hey. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’m a nurse, remember?”
“Yeah.”
Not being embarrassed is impossible.
“Erik, I’m serious. It was just a little panic attack. No big deal.”
“Right. The guy who’s supposed to be looking out for you suddenly goes crazy. Nothing to be embarrassed about.” Tears still stung the backs of his eyes and he blinked rapidly, looking down in mortification.
Katrin shifted to look at him, putting her little hands on either side of his face, pulling it up, looking angry with him. “Stop it.”
He tried to look back down in shame, but her hands tilted his face back up to look at her. “Look at me.”
He couldn’t look her in the eye, even as she cradled his face in her hands. He kept his eyes downcast.
“Erik. Please.” Her voice changed when she spoke again. Soft and thick with emotion. “Erik,” she started, then stopped and started again. “It doesn’t change anything…I’m still…I mean, I—Oh, to hell with it!”
Without any warning or hesitation, she moved her face close to his, and he felt her eyelashes close against his cheek as the pliant softness of her lips pressed against his. His forehead creased in momentary confusion before his body figured out what was happening, and he leaned into her.
The hairs on his arms stood up like dominoes in reverse and he closed his eyes, his fingers splaying out over her hips, almost spanning her tiny waist. His thumbs slipped under her sweater and he felt the warm, silky skin of her belly just over the top of her jeans. She sighed softly from the back of her throat as her fingers curled on his face, fingernails grazing his cheeks, which sent darts of pleasure all over his body and made his blood rush down, past his stomach, between his thighs. He pulled her closer, hungry to feel more of her, feeling stronger and whole, electrified by the touch of her mouth on his, her little fingers curled into soft fists against the hot skin of his face. This is good. This is better than good.
He ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, and she opened for him, touching his tongue timidly at first, then relaxing into his stroking rhythm. He slid his hands up under her sweater and ran his palms across the soft, warm planes of her back, while she moved her hands down to his neck where the tips of her fingers grazed his sensitive earlobes as he captured her tongue again and again, making her stay with him, melt into him, forget anything else but what was happening between them.
Without warning, she moved her head to the side sharply, and broke off the kiss, panting.
“Wait,” she whispered breathlessly, head bowed, hands flat on his chest. She bent her head all the way forward and let it rest right above her hands, under his chin, trying to catch her breath. His hands had stilled the moment she said “wait” and he lowered them from the warm skin of her back, kissing the top of her bowed head.
“I didn’t see that coming,” he breathed into her hair, smiling, kissing the top of her head again.
Katrin raised her head to look into his eyes. Hers were deep and dark, heavy with passion, but she also looked unsure of herself, worried.
“I didn’t plan it. I just needed you to know I didn’t—I didn’t see you any differently just because—”
“Shhh. I know.” He pushed her head gently back against his chest, catching his breath, stroking the hair away from her face. “I bet you’re a really popular nurse.”
She leaned back so she could look at him, lips pursed in disapproval, but deep dimples merry, like she was suppressing giggles.
“I work in the maternity ward, Erik.”
He winked at her. “Told you any man would want to play doctor with you.”
She scooted away from him on the bench, taking a deep breath, and smoothing her hair. Then she ran her fingers across her lips, like she was putting on lip gloss, only she wasn’t. She was rubbing him in, which made him feel hard again.
“Älskling,” he murmured.
His feelings for her were all over the place.
“Minste.”
She smiled at him, but it was a sad smile, tentative and small. “I have to go. It’s way past six. They’re going to wonder…”
She stood up, surveying the crowd for José, and Erik couldn’t help the stab of jealousy he felt. From his spot on the bench, he took her hand, and she turned to look down at him, biting her
