“I thought…Jen, I thought—”
Jenny leaned her head up to look into her brother’s eyes. “Of course you did. You didn’t know, Erik. Now you do.”
“But, I’ve—”
“You’ve what? What have you done that’s so bad? You supported your sister through the darkest weeks of her life. You comforted your unconscious mother as she died. You never lashed out at your father, even though you must have been very angry. Why can’t you see what I see? I love Nils and Lars, but you’re the best of us, Erik. The strongest of us, the one who loves the deepest and the most, Minste.” She glanced at Katrin, who was laughing at something her mother whispered in her ear. “Katrin Svenson’s a lucky girl.”
Erik caught his sister’s eyes and smiled at her. She tilted her head to the side, the way all of the Lindstroms do, and smiled back at him.
Then she stood up, waving to an approaching Sam. Before she walked away, she turned to Erik, pecking him lightly on the cheek, telling him she loved him in their mother’s Norwegian. “Elsker deg, Minste.”
“Elsker deg også, lillesøster.” She squeezed his hand and then left him alone, joining her husband.
He remembered Katrin’s words when they were lying in her bed, after she woke up that Monday morning from the scarlet fever. Erik had shared his fears with her about his father. “I don’t think he still loved her at the end.” And Katrin had responded, “I’m sure he did.”
His girl had been right to trust in love, after all.
***
When he related this story to Katrin later that night, she listened quietly with her head on his chest, tracing gentle circles on his skin through the curly blond hairs, while he talked in the still darkness of her room. He stroked her hair from her temple to her neck, in long, distracted caresses. She occasionally nodded and once she wiped her eyes, but otherwise she just listened, and Erik felt a profound comfort in being able to turn to her, to talk to her, to tell her everything.
Finally he stopped speaking, and she propped her head on her hand to gaze at him. “That’s a lot for you to get your head around, Erik. But, it’s good, not bad.”
“I wish I’d known then. Or even right after she died.” He turned, propping his head on his hand too, so they were facing each other. “I was angry with my Pappa for such a long time, and he didn’t deserve it. I should have had more faith in him.”
Moonlight filtered into the room, making her face look ethereal, angelic.
“It doesn’t sound like you were unkind to him.”
“In my heart, I was.”
“And you regret that.”
“I do.”
“What will you do differently so that you don’t have that regret again?”
He loved the spirit behind that question. He looked away from her, thinking it over. “Hmm. Maybe I’ll take Jenny’s advice.”
“Which was?”
“She said to believe in the people you love. She said to believe they’re doing their best.”
“I think that’s good advice.”
“Kyss mig, Älskling.” Kiss me, Kat.
And she did.
***
“What about when we get home?” He held her against his chest, her back to his front, one arm around her.
“What do you mean?” Katrin asked, drowsy but happy.
“Sundays won’t be enough anymore.” He nuzzled the back of her neck.
She wasn’t sure how to answer him. She agreed with him, of course, but also wondered if they were ready for a conversation about what comes next. She had no plan. She doubted he did either.
“What would be enough?”
He kissed her neck and his answer was soft and muffled as his arm tightened around her.
“I can’t hear you.”
“Every night.”
She turned in his arms to look at his face. “Do you mean that?”
He nodded, biting his lower lip, looking younger than he was.
“How would that work?”
“Umm. I’ll move in with you. I’ll commute.”
“From Skidoo to Kalispell? From my twin bed in a temporary, shared apartment over a medical clinic?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought it through. I just know it’s going to be hell to be away from you. I don’t want to wake up and see anything before seeing you.” He touched his forehead to hers.
She closed her eyes, loving him. “We’ll figure it out.”
“We will?”
“Mm-hm,” she murmured, smiling, falling asleep. “We will.”
***
When he woke up, her room was bright with early morning sun and she was still sleeping beside him. On Monday morning he would wake up alone. The thought made him feel hollow and cold and unbearably lonely. She brought warmth and love to his life after an adulthood of cool detachment, and now that he had basked in the glow of her presence and felt the heat of her body beside him, he would long for her desperately when they were apart.
He watched her sleep, thinking of his parents, his father who loved his mother enough to honor her final wishes. He thought of Ingrid and Kristian, who had weathered separate tours in Germany and Iraq only to find themselves together when it was over. He thought of Jenny, who loved Sam enough to leave Gardiner and start a new life for herself with him.
Prettiest thing I ever seen. Would’ve followed her to China. Would’ve followed her to hell. Wouldn’t have mattered. Might as well have up and died if I couldn’t be with her.
You’re the best of us, the
