“If she’s that strong, you’d think she’d be able to reverse the spell.”
“Yeah, one would think.”
We sit in silence for a while. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. Of course, mine wander to Ryker and how I left him behind. I wish I knew what he was doing right now—if he’s okay. I want to laugh at that. How could he possibly be okay? I’m sure as hell not okay.
“One of the last things I told him was I was going to be okay,” I say aloud before I can stop myself. Jax shoots me a confused look, and I sigh. “Before I left Ryker, I promised him I would be okay, but the hellfire isn’t working, and Nicolai isn’t going to be patient much longer. I’m starting to think I’m not going end up being okay.”
“I don’t know what else to do to get your wolf out. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever used hellfire on—the amount I used on you tonight probably would have killed anyone else. But not you. It’s almost like your strength and power are working against you.”
“Of course, they are.” I lean my head back on the wall behind me. “Nothing about my life has ever been easy—so why should this be?”
Jax is quiet for a minute before finally speaking up. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, why not?” I shrug. “Not like I’m in a position that I can tell you no.”
“Why haven’t you cried since you’ve been here?” he asks. “Every other person who is trapped here usually cries for days before finally giving up, but you haven’t.”
“I told you before I’m exactly where I need to be. As long as I’m here, the people and the man I love are safe.” I pause for a second while I really think about his question. “Both of my parents where alphas of a pack, and now I’m technically the alpha of the same pack. My parents sacrificed themselves for their pack, and now I’m doing the same thing. I never had anyone but my aunt, and now I have an entire pack of people depending on me to protect them…” I trail off.
“I’ve always been on my own—my mom died when I was young.” I notice he swallows hard when he pauses like he’s fighting back emotion. “I don’t know what it’s like to have someone other than myself to depend on or care about. Then again, that might be the demon in me speaking—we are known for our lack of humanity and empathy.”
“You’re not just demon, Jax,” I sigh. “That’s a small part of what you are, but it’s not who you are. You’re your mother’s son—and from what I’ve seen, I believe you are a lot more like her than you think.”
“I don’t remember much about her, but I remember at night she would sing me to sleep. She had such a beautiful voice…” Jax looks away, trying to hide the pain in his eyes, but it’s pointless since I hear it in his voice, although I don’t tell him that. He’s had to be strong all his life. I’m sure showing weakness is not easy for him.
He takes a minute before looking back at me, his violet eyes clear of any signs of distress. I’m actually amazed at his ability to hide it. “I bet you’re famished,” he says. “Do you want something to eat?”
“Seriously?” I sit up straighter and look at him, confused.
“I mean, I probably can’t score you a steak dinner, but I can bring you back a little something.” Jax pulls himself to his feet and offers me a hand. I reach up, and he helps me rise. My bones and muscles groan in protest, and I sway on my feet for a second before I finally find my balance again.
“I’m actually starving,” I admit, my stomach growling in agreement. “But don’t bring me anything if it will get you in trouble.”
“Nicolai will never know I left.” Jax’s eyes gleam, and he takes a step back from me.
“How are you going—”
One second, Jax is standing in front of me, the next he’s gone in a cloud of black smoke. I look around the room and don’t find him anywhere. It reminds me of a bad magic show, but this time I think it really is magic. When the smell of that black smoke hits me, it all begins to click. When I first met Jax, I smelled smoke. He must have done this then as well.
That’s so cool!
I make a mental note to ask him what else he can do. I wonder if he’s able to shift into a wolf as well and what other magic he has up his sleeve.
A sudden wave of jealousy hits me. Jax can do all sorts of things, and all I’m able to do is occasionally grow fangs and claws. And if I were able to fully shift, I wouldn’t be here since I’d already be mated with Ryker. I’d be useless to Nicolai.
I pull my shirt over my head and use it to dry my face. I wish I was able to take a real shower, but splashing some water on my face is going to have to do for now. I don’t know how long Jax is going to be gone, but I decide to take advantage of not being chained to a table and clean myself up as best as I can. I look down at the damp shirt in my hand and wonder if Jax could score me a new set of clothes.
I walk out of the bathroom in my sports bra and leggings and move to hang my shirt over the plastic chair to allow it to dry out. I barely make it a foot into the room before the main door swings open, and Nicolai saunters in. His hair is sticking
